Command Decisions
by jackwabbit
Summary: Whump; Angst; Team; Mild JS and DanJan; JT and JackJacob Friendship. S5. Spoilers: A Matter of Time, FIAD, Absolute Power. Summary: SG-1 Loses Samantha Carter, And In The Process Teal’c Has To Make A Decision That Could Cost The Team Much More. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Command Decisions**

Rated: PG-13

Category: Whump, Angst, Team, Some Very Mild JS and Mild DanJan References, J/T Friendship.

Season: Five-ish.

Spoilers: A Matter of Time, Absolute Power, FIAD, Cold Lazarus, Fire and Water, In The Line of Duty, Point of View, Scorched Earth.

Summary: SG-1 Loses Samantha Carter, And In The Process Teal'c Has To Make A Decision That Could Cost The Team Much More.

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**CHAPTER ONE**

Teal'c had commanded an army of Jaffa for almost longer than Jack O'Neill had been alive. He knew about command decisions. He knew about acceptable risk and acceptable losses.

He knew that sometimes people had to pay the ultimate price in battle, and he knew that those who died in war were not the ones who paid that price.

And he knew that now was one of those times.

Teal'c had accepted the command of Colonel Jack O'Neill because he respected him as a fellow warrior. He knew the Tau'ri was an admirable tactician and leader.

Teal'c would have followed Jack O'Neill to the ends of the universe and back, but as a former fellow leader of men, Teal'c also knew that O'Neill was indeed flawed. He knew that leaders were no less human than those they led, and he knew that sometimes the judgment of even the most professional and distanced officer was clouded by personal beliefs or feelings.

And he knew that now was one of those times.

Despite his loyalty to O'Neill and his command, Teal'c knew that his friend was not fit to make decisions now. While Teal'c abhorred any form of disloyalty in principle, he knew that sometimes circumstances made a seemingly traitorous act the only honorable thing to do. The universe was not a black and white place, but was composed of various shades of grey.

Teal'c's mind was made up and his decision finalized in a fraction of a second.

There was only one option available to him right now that made any sense at all.

The big Jaffa removed his zat from its holster.

He aimed and fired, as four simple words left his mouth.

"I am sorry, O'Neill."

When Jack fell, Teal'c caught him deftly and heaved him into a fireman's carry over his broad shoulders with little effort.

Then he ran.

As fast as his legs could carry him, Teal'c ran.

While rocks tumbled down all around him, and the ground shook with what seemed a barely controlled fury, he ran.

Dust rained down from the air surrounding him, and Teal'c could barely breathe. He could hardly see two feet in front of him, but still he ran.

Away from the carnage behind him.

Away from the rubble stained with traces of Jack's blood.

Away from the lifeless body of Samantha Carter.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Teal'c ran for what seemed like forever before the dust finally cleared and sudden bright sunlight nearly blinded him. He stopped for a fraction of a second to take a deep breath of clean oxygen, with the wide mouth of a cave behind him. An open clearing lay in front of him, and soon Teal'c was running again. Across the clearing. Toward the Stargate.

Jack's loose arms bobbled against the Jaffa's legs and his head rolled loosely from side to side, but the human stayed unconscious.

Teal'c was grateful.

As he ran, Teal'c's mind replayed the last ten minutes in his head as accurately as any video recorder. Images flashed through his mind with blinding speed and unforgiving detail.

XXX

It had been a simple enough mission.

So simple only O'Neill, Carter, and Teal'c had gone, as Daniel Jackson was involved in a delicate treaty negotiation back on Earth. This one was just a basic planetary survey on a world that was uninhabited-three team members should have been more than enough to accomplish it.

The planet had indeed been nothing to write home about. Everything was as the probes had transmitted. SG-1's destination was a simple planet that appeared long abandoned by whoever might have lived there previously. There were no signs of settlements or structures.

The only thing of any note in the area surrounding the Stargate was a series of caves. These caves were the reason for the mission. The MALP had revealed possible naquadah deposits in the mineral-laden rock structures, and SG-1 was assigned to verify the findings.

Things had gone smoothly and uneventfully in the initial survey.

As the team completed its work, they began to pack up the basic equipment Major Carter had brought along to conduct the survey.

That's when all hell broke loose.

Teal'c's mind strobed with images of sudden falling rock.

Of vibrating cave walls and shaking ground.

Of discarded equipment smashed into tiny bits by cascading stone.

The earthquake had hit suddenly. There was no warning.

The team was deep in an underground rock structure in an earthquake. Not a promising situation to say the least.

Leaving everything behind, Jack O'Neill had ordered the group immediately out of the caves. The three friends had run as fast as they could toward the surface, but it wasn't fast enough.

Not fast enough by a long shot for Samantha Carter.

The images of Sam were the most tortuous for Teal'c, and he tried to clear them from his mind, but they clung to his neurons with stubborn tenacity.

His mind transported him back to the cave and refused to let him leave it.

It happened before they knew it.

A sudden crash followed by a waterfall of rock surrounded the team. They kept running, dodging stone on all sides, but as they ran, suddenly an anguished scream lanced the atmosphere like a sword.

Teal'c stopped in his tracks. O'Neill also skidded to a halt. Rocks continued to fall, but neither man noticed them as they turned around to see their teammate and friend trapped in a pile of rubble.

Samantha Carter had been caught in the rockslide. Her body was laying in a most unnatural position, mostly buried by red-orange stone. Her legs and lower abdomen were not visible. Only her chest, arms, and head could be seen. One arm was partially obscured by rock, and twisted at an awkward angle. It was obviously broken.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the only body part that was mangled.

Sam's torso was intact, and her other arm was beautifully normal.

Her head, however, was another story altogether.

Sam's neck, like her arm, was grotesquely wrenched around to a nearly reversed position from normal. Her gorgeous blue eyes were wide open but unseeing. Major Samantha Carter had been instantly killed by her fall and the rockslide around her. The roiling mass of stone had picked up her body and whipped it around so quickly the rest of her hadn't had time to catch up, and her landing on a large sharp-edged boulder had insured her demise.

Time seemed to slow down to a crawl. The dust cascading down from the ceiling of the caves seemed to be falling in slow motion, like a gentle snow. The rocks that were being thrown about in the small space were somehow easy to avoid for the space of a few heartbeats.

In those heartbeats, Teal'c's unimaginable horror somehow managed to escalate.

And Jack O'Neill was the reason for that.

As Teal'c watched, frozen for a moment in shock, Jack ran back to Sam. He began to frantically dig with his bare hands in the stone surrounding Carter's body.

Soon, Jack's blood mingled freely with Sam's, streaming from a hundred cuts on his hands and arms. Tears streamed down the Colonel's face and he mumbled a constant stream of incoherent obscenities. His fists battered mercilessly on the unforgiving stone surrounding the body of his 2IC.

The ground continued to shake. Rocks continued to fall.

And still Teal'c stood and watched the horror in front of him.

Only seconds elapsed, but it seemed like millennia.

And then, suddenly, Teal'c's tortured reverie was over.

An orange rock the size of a baseball careened off Teal'c's shoulder, snapping him out of his tormented daze.

He sprang into action.

He ran to O'Neill's side and began to try to help.

It was no use. The rocks pinning Sam's body to the cave floor were too numerous and too large to move this way.

And Sam was dead.

This was not a rescue, it was a retrieval.

As much as Teal'c didn't want to believe that, it was in fact the case.

He checked Sam's neck for a pulse three separate times.

He watched her chest for a full two minutes, with debris bouncing off his body haphazardly, hoping against hope to see the tiniest movement that would indicate life within the body of his friend.

There was nothing.

And still Jack continued to frantically dig.

Jack's hands were bloodied on every surface. His nails were broken and cracked. Rocks continued to pummel his body, but O'Neill didn't notice.

Teal'c did.

As a stone the size of a basketball glanced off O'Neill's back, the frenzied man was thrown downwards into the pile of rubble encasing Carter. His face hit the dusty ground with a sickening crunch, and blood began to pour freely from the Tau'ri's nose.

O'Neill didn't seem to notice his newest injury any more than he had the others. He pushed himself up and continued to dig, clawing his way over Sam's body; his fingernails leaving long red lines down her skin as he raked them across her flesh in his attempts to free her.

Teal'c knew then, with the certainty of those who have been there before, that Jack O'Neill would die here, in this cave, unless he intervened. He knew there was no way to save Samantha Carter, but he saw no point in allowing another friend to die.

They could return for the body when the earthquake was over.

Teal'c took a long deep breath and let it out before splitting the air with a bellow.

"O'NEILL!"

There was no response.

Jack couldn't hear anything. He couldn't see anything other than Sam, dead in front of him.

Teal'c tried again, this time laying a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"O'NEILL!"

Jack started and jumped like wild game caught in a snare. He looked at Teal'c for a split second before roughly shaking off the Jaffa's hand and returning to his task.

Teal'c, never one to give up, tried one more time. His hand shook Jack's shoulder roughly.

"O'NEILL! SHE IS DEAD, O'NEILL. YOU CAN DO NOTHING, AND YOU WILL DIE IF YOU REMAIN HERE! YOUR DEATH WILL SERVE NO PURPOSE HERE!"

Jack responded this time with only a look. His eyes were somehow stone cold with fury and bright with tears of true grief at the same time. He glanced to Teal'c, held his gaze for a split second, and then resumed his task, blindly scrambling over the stone.

It was then that Teal'c knew the only path he could take to save his friend.

He only hoped Jack would forgive him.

In the space of a heartbeat, blue lightning crawled over Jack's body.

XXX

When Teal'c reached the Stargate, he didn't bother to relinquish his hold on O'Neill.

He dialed home one handed, then managed to reach around Jack's body to his other arm to transmit the IDC that would allow him access to Earth.

Then he continued to run. The ground here was stable, with very few tremors, but there was another danger that was rapidly coming to the forefront of Teal'c's mind.

Jack O'Neill was beginning to stir.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

"Incoming Wormhole!"

Sergeant Walter Harriman announced the activation of the Stargate in his usual urgent voice as General Hammond quickly entered the control room.

"We have no teams due back. Who is it, Sergeant?"

"SG-1's access code, sir."

"Open the iris."

As the metal shield that protected Earth's Stargate spiraled into itself, allowing the active wormhole behind it to come into full view, Daniel Jackson stepped into the control room.

"What's going on?"

"We're not sure, Doctor Jackson," explained Hammond. "SG-1 is apparently returning from their planetary survey mission ahead of schedule."

Daniel's brow wrinkled in concern, and his response was thrown over his shoulder as he headed down to the gateroom to see what had caused his friend's early return.

"That's odd."

Hammond looked after the young man and nodded his agreement, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight that soon greeted every eye that turned toward the Stargate.

The event horizon rippled briefly.

Teal'c stepped through the gate, carrying an unconscious Colonel O'Neill.

General Hammond's insides turned to ice.

He responded without thought. "Medical team to the gateroom!"

And then he waited. He could tell something else was wrong. The Colonel was injured, but that was not that unusual and it wasn't the only thing not right here. Somehow everyone knew it, including the General.

Teal'c's eyes were even more expressionless than usual, and every fiber of his being radiated defeat. General Hammond had never seen the Jaffa in such a state, and the ice inside of him morphed into an all-encompassing dread.

He ran to the gateroom to stand next to Daniel Jackson just as Janet Fraiser and her medical team arrived. His eyes were involuntarily drawn to the wormhole, waiting for the last member of SG-1 to appear.

She never did.

The wormhole disengaged just as a quiet Jaffa voice was heard.

"Colonel O'Neill was hit with a zat discharge at close range. He also has several other minor injuries."

There was a long pause, but finally the voice continued as Janet wheeled a gurney carrying Jack O'Neill out of the room while shouting orders to her staff.

"Major Carter is dead."

As he spoke these words, the normally unreadable expression of Teal'c's face changed dramatically. His mask of stoicism was stripped away, leaving nothing but shocked disbelief in its place.

To an inexperienced viewer, the changes were subtle, but to someone who knew him, Teal'c's heart may as well have been on his sleeve for all to see.

His eyebrows were lower on his brow. The outside corners of his eyes drooped downward. He seemed unable to focus on anything except the floor in front of him, and his mouth was loose, hanging open ever so slightly. There was a vulnerability about the huge man that was so uncharacteristic that it was almost scary.

Daniel Jackson's feet responded to that vulnerability before the spoken words had time to sink into his brain. They crossed the distance between him and his friend in four long strides. A hand reached out to touch a dark forearm.

When skin hit skin, Teal'c jumped as if he'd received an electric shock. His dark eyes focused on Daniel for the briefest of moments before they shut down again. Teal'c spoke only a few words, but his voice was hollow sounding, almost as if it was coming from very far away.

"I must accompany O'Neill to the infirmary."

General Hammond stepped up, concerned for his alien officer. "Are you injured, son?"

"No."

Teal'c spun on his heel as he answered and left a bewildered and dismayed General standing open-mouthed behind him. Daniel Jackson stood stock still for about ten seconds, too, rapidly blinking away unshed tears, and then took off after the Jaffa at a dead run.

XXX

When Daniel caught up to Teal'c, he hooked one hand into the much larger man's vest and yanked Teal'c around to face him.

"Teal'c! What happened?!? What's going on? Sam?"

Daniel's eyes were filled with pain as he spoke, and his voice was a plaintive cry, but Teal'c did not respond to the younger man. He merely shook off the hand and continued on his way to the infirmary.

Daniel called after the Jaffa angrily, his long legs following his teammate.

"Teal'c! Dammit! Tell me what happened! Where's Sam?"

Teal'c's steps faltered as Daniel asked this last question, and he slowly turned to face the Tau'ri.

"Doctor Jackson. All will be revealed in time. Major Carter is indeed dead. I must speak with O'Neill immediately. Please allow me to continue on my journey."

Something in Teal'c's voice touched Daniel's soul on a primal level, and he gave the Jaffa the slightest of nods as his hand came out to rest on Teal'c's shoulder. A pure sadness exuded from Teal'c, and Daniel could no more argue with him than he could've stopped his own pain at the thought of losing Sam.

Teal'c nodded back, deeply and with closed eyes. When his eyes came up again, they shone with tears. The sight was so rare that Daniel involuntarily took a step backwards and released his hold on Teal'c's shoulder.

Teal'c responded by turning back toward the infirmary and murmuring a response. "Thank you."

It took Daniel a full three minutes to snap out of the stupor that overcame him after his encounter with Teal'c. When he did, he began to stumble blindly toward the infirmary. He had to know that Jack was ok. He had to find out what in hell had happened on that planet. There were no hostiles present. It was supposed to have been a simple survey mission. Daniel was lost in complete disbelief that Sam could've been lost to something so simple.

It was a good thing Daniel knew the way to the infirmary well. His eyes and ears seemed to receive little stimuli as he tripped and faltered through the familiar hallways.

When Daniel finally reached the infirmary, however, his senses immediately came online to full alert. The scene that greeted him as he rounded the last corner before the infirmary was not something he ever expected to see, and his jaw dropped in astonishment.

Three uniformed SFs were attempting to restrain a very incensed Jaffa.

A loud shout from Teal'c rang out in the hallway, hurting Daniel's ears as it echoed.

"I must be allowed to speak to O'Neill! You must let me in!"

The SFs tried to calm Teal'c, but were obviously having no effect.

"Doctor Fraiser says the Colonel is sedated, sir. You can't go in there right now. She left explicit orders that we were to allow no one entrance."

"I do not care what Doctor Fraiser has ordered! You do not understand! I must be allowed inside! I must see O'Neill!"

As Daniel watched, Teal'c began to struggle more fiercely against the guards. His left elbow smashed a nose. The crunch of bone was audible in the concrete hall. Kicks landed anywhere they could, and things started to get really ugly just as another SF rounded the corner, nearly knocking Daniel to the ground in his haste to help his comrades subdue the angry Jaffa.

This guard had obviously run to the nearest armory while his buddies were fighting Teal'c.

He drew a zat and began to target Teal'c.

"Teal'c! Stand down or I will fire!"

The guard's physical contact and words jarred Daniel into action. He ran into the foray and managed to get himself between Teal'c and the nearest SF. His face was mere centimeters away from Teal'c's. Daniel shouted as loudly as he could.

"Teal'c! Calm down!"

His words had no effect. The guard with the zat fired, but his shot somehow went wide, and danced across the wall behind the fight.

As the weapons fire slowly dissipated, the only person who stood half a chance of stopping the nonsense in the hallway emerged from a doorway.

Janet Fraiser stepped out into the hall wearing an expression of puzzlement which rapidly turned into one of sheer shock and angry disbelief as she shouted a question that demanded an answer.

"What the HELL is going on out here?"

As the petite doctor's words rang out in the hall, six men immediately froze. Then the four SFs slowly released Teal'c and stepped out of the way of the wrath of Janet Fraiser. Daniel studied the floor very carefully, and Teal'c stepped forward to speak with the physician.

Teal'c's voice was quiet, but undermined with passion. "I must speak with Colonel O'Neill. The security forces would not allow me entrance to do so."

Janet huffed a little in indignation. "On my order, Teal'c. I don't want anyone going in there right now, and I have my reasons. This is MY infirmary, and I give the orders around here."

"Doctor Fraiser, I must be allowed…"

Janet interrupted. "I don't have to allow anything, Teal'c. You are NOT getting in there. Besides, the Colonel is sleeping right now. There is no point in a visit."

Daniel's brow furrowed in worry at the doctor's words, and Teal'c's did likewise. Teal'c spoke the question that caused the concern for both men.

"O'Neill should have recovered from the Zat'n'ktel blast by now."

Janet nodded. "He did."

"Why, then, is he still unconscious?"

Janet sighed dramatically. "Because, Teal'c, when Colonel O'Neill regained consciousness, he demanded to speak to you, in a most emphatic way. When I denied him his request and attempted to treat the multiple lacerations on his hands, arms, back, and face, he became violent. I had to call security to restrain him and then I was forced to sedate him to examine his injuries. He was a threat to himself as well as my staff."

As Janet spoke, Daniel became aware for the first time of her slight trembling and ragged breathing. She was worked up about something, that much was certain. Daniel also noticed a slight bruise forming on Janet's left cheek, and anger began to build in him. What the hell was going on? Had Jack done that? And if so, WHY? Jack would never act in such a fashion without a damn good reason. Daniel began to wonder if Jack and Teal'c had been infected with some sort of alien pathogen that was causing their behavior. One thing was for sure, something big was going on here, and Daniel wanted to get to the bottom of it.

Daniel was torn from his musings and brought back to the present by a direct question from Janet.

"Now, does someone want to tell me what's going on here? And where's Sam?"

Janet looked up and down the hall questioningly as she interrogated the only two men left in front of her-Teal'c and Daniel. The SFs had conveniently disappeared.

Daniel's eyes, which had cleared during his confrontation with Teal'c, refilled with tears and he could only vaguely shake his head before casting his eyes to Teal'c. Although Teal'c couldn't see it, Daniel's eyes were begging for an explanation.

As Janet took in Daniel's expression, she looked to the big Jaffa too.

Teal'c's response was as immediate as it was overwhelming. The solid rock of Jaffa faltered. A breath caught in his throat, and Teal'c took one step backwards to lean slightly against the wall behind him before answering.

When he had taken a few deep breaths, Teal'c stepped forward again and addressed Janet, in a voice filled with pain but strong nonetheless.

"Major Carter is dead, Doctor Fraiser. Her body will need to be recovered from P5X-901 as soon as is possible. Seismic activity in the area surrounding the gate makes it unsafe to do so at this time."

Now it was Janet's turn to falter. The doctor's hand flew involuntarily up to her mouth, and a loud gasp escaped her chest. She stumbled on her feet, and probably would've fallen if Daniel's strong arms had not been there to catch her. Without thought, Daniel stepped forward and enveloped Janet in his arms. Janet turned into the embrace and quietly asked for confirmation.

"Daniel? Is it true? Sam?"

Daniel smoothed auburn hair and whispered gently. "I don't know. I know what you know. Sh… we'll figure this out. We'll get to the bottom of this. Sh…"

As Daniel comforted the physician, his eyes found Teal'c's above Janet's head. One glance told him all he needed to know. Teal'c was telling the truth, at least as he knew it. Unless by some miracle Teal'c had been brainwashed or something, Sam was dead. The emptiness and despair radiating from the Jaffa confirmed that fact for Daniel.

Janet Fraiser took only a minute to compose herself. In ninety seconds, her professional demeanor was back. She extricated herself from Daniel's embrace, and she spoke with only the tiniest strain in her voice as she addressed Teal'c.

"Teal'c, report to Doctor Warner in exam three for your post-mission physical. Daniel, please make sure the necessary arrangements are taken care of for a debrief with General Hammond ASAP. I need to get back to the Colonel for now, but I want to know what happened out there."

Janet's eyes hardened to pure steel as she spoke, and her sharp gaze skewered Teal'c's back as the Jaffa turned toward the secondary entrance to the infirmary that was used for more routine work. As Teal'c walked away, shoulders slumped, Janet turned as well and headed back into the infirmary. Daniel was left alone in the hall, and he lingered only a moment before he too left the hallway for more important duties.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Daniel didn't go find General Hammond. He knew Hammond would take care of the briefing details himself. Instead, he went straight to security. He wanted to see for himself what had happened when Jack had regained consciousness earlier.

The airman on duty didn't think twice about complying with Daniel's request. When a member of the SGC's premier team asked for something, he complied. Daniel had the tape in question in hand within moments.

He signed it out, and then retired to his quarters to watch it in relative privacy.

Twenty minutes later, Daniel sat in front of his VCR with his mouth hanging open. His remote control was held loosely in his hand, and the image paused on the screen in front of him caused his skin to tent with goosebumps all over.

He sat that way a long time, until gravity finally won its battle with Daniel's hand, and the remote dropped loudly to the floor. Daniel's reverie was shattered. He blinked, picked up the remote, and rewound the tape, not believing what he had just seen.

The images didn't change on the second time through. Nor on the third.

Daniel rubbed his eyes wearily, trying to make sense of what he had seen, but it didn't work.

He had just seen Jack O'Neill, his commander and friend, trash half of the infirmary in about one minute. He had seen his hero violently lashing out at unarmed medical staff, some of whom were women and friends. Daniel was at least a little relieved to see that Janet's bruise, which had grown more livid throughout the hallway encounter earlier, wasn't caused by Jack directly. The petite doctor had been knocked down in the struggle, and her injury was the result of an impact with an unforgiving steel cabinet.

As horrifying as Jack's actions were, they were nothing compared to his words. Daniel had to watch the brief scene several more times before he understood almost every word that was said, but even with a few that were too garbled to hear clearly, he knew enough to know that all was not as it seemed here.

"Murdering bastard!"

"That son of a bitch!"

"He had no right!"

"You get Teal'c in here right this minute, or I swear to God, I'll find him myself, and Lord help anyone who gets in my way!"

"Sir, you've got to calm down."

"I won't calm down! You get that mutinous Jaffa bastard in here!"

"Sir, I need to get a look at you. You're bleeding."

"I don't give a shit!"

The screaming didn't stop until two strapping SFs somehow managed to subdue Jack enough for Janet to slip in and quickly jab a long needle into his upper arm. It took a few minutes for the sedative to take effect, but when it finally did, the infirmary was silent once again.

Daniel was amazed at how the staff quickly moved in and restored order after their adventure, but no matter how many times he watched the tape, he was still shocked at Jack's actions and epithets. Daniel expected Jack to be devastated by Sam's death, but the level of violence that he was seeing now was not something he expected. A grieving Jack was a quiet Jack. A tragic, solitary Jack. A 'shut everyone else out and drink myself into oblivion' Jack. A 'if I lose my mind in a fit of rage over the unfairness of death, I'll do it alone' Jack. Daniel knew Jack O'Neill well enough to know that when he hurt, he did so alone. So much so as to be dangerously unhealthy. Jack didn't take others with him in grief, even if they wanted him to-even if they were hurting themselves and desperately needed to share their grief with someone. So Daniel knew this was something else. This was pure anger, almost hate. Something was going on here. Something much bigger than anyone knew yet.

What the hell had happened out there?


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Two hours later, the briefing was finished. It had been short and to the point.

Teal'c's post mission physical had revealed no signs of mind-altering pathogens or devices. As far as anyone could tell, both he and Colonel O'Neill were sound in mind. As for body, Jack's injuries were relatively minor but included a broken nose, a plethora of bruises, two cracked ribs, and several lacerations that were sporting new lines of sutures. Teal'c was in normal physical condition.

The events that had transpired on the planet were relayed in minutes by Teal'c, in what seemed like one very long sentence. Jack was still sedated in the infirmary, and Doctor Fraiser reported that she believed it would be better for all involved if he stay that way for a while, so his version of events would have to wait. When the doctor spoke of this, Daniel couldn't help but notice Teal'c's gaze. It flicked nervously around the room briefly, then settled again on the table in front of him.

When the reports were finished, General Hammond, Daniel, Doctor Fraiser and Teal'c sat in stunned silence for what seemed like forever. Finally, Hammond spoke.

"Alright, people. If nothing else, we've got a recovery mission to plan. Teal'c, I want you to coordinate efforts with Sergeant Siler to get a specialized probe through the gate to find out the moment it is safe to return to that planet. Doctor Fraiser, get Colonel O'Neill up and running ASAP and get me his story. Doctor Jackson, if I'm not mistaken, you still have a treaty to finish. We're all saddened by this loss, people, but we've got jobs to do. I'm not giving up or calling this one over yet. I've seen enough strange things in this job to know better than to throw in the towel here. As soon as that planet is deemed safe, we're going back through the gate to find Major Carter. I won't give up hope just yet. Let's go, people."

The group broke up then and drifted away. General Hammond let out a long sigh when the room was empty. While he had ordered everyone else off to their jobs as if he expected them to function normally on this far from normal day, he himself hesitated in his chair, not wanting to move on to his next very unenviable task.

But finally he could sit no longer. He sighed loudly, then stood and looked out over the gateroom.

In the background, Sergeant Harriman moved, too.

Hammond smiled to himself. Walter was like his constant shadow, and one he could never live without. He sighed again, then spoke to the enlisted man without turning to him.

"Sergeant, get me the Tok'ra. ASAP."


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

General Hammond hadn't heard back from Jacob Carter before Jack O'Neill woke up.

Part of him was glad of that fact, as he really didn't want to add another emotionally charged wrinkle to this situation, but another part of him would've gladly shared part of the burden of trying to get to the bottom of this with another General.

And Selmak was usually a calming influence… but George was on his own.

While Jack was sleeping, Hammond had placed security details around both the infirmary and Teal'c's quarters and left strict orders that Jack O'Neill was to have no contact with the Jaffa, who had volunteered to remain in his quarters after briefing Siler on the issues of his last mission that were needed for the MALP Siler was modifying to search for Sam, until authorized by himself.

This system appeared to be working as Hammond stepped into the infirmary to debrief O'Neill regarding his latest mission.

Janet Frasier and her staff stood to one side, prepared to administer another dose of sedative if need be, but Jack appeared calm at the moment, so the General pulled up a chair and sat by his bedside. It was a long moment before Hammond spoke.

"What happened out there, son?"

O'Neill swallowed and then began to speak without looking at his CO. His eyes stayed forward and focused on a point somewhere in the distance. Hammond knew without thinking that his officer was in a very dark place, and that he might be looking at a psych evaluation soon.

That thought brought the General nothing but a slight increase in pressure behind his eyes as he listened intently to O'Neill's words.

"Routine survey, sir. Nothing out of the ordinary. We were packing up, about to head home, when there was, I don't know… I guess an earthquake. Cave walls shook all over the place. Rocks fell everywhere. We left everything and ran. Carter got caught in a rockslide. Couldn't get her out."

At this point, the emotionless monotone that was Jack's voice hitched a little, and Hammond took that as a good thing. Jack hadn't totally sealed himself off from the world, at least not yet.

The voice continued after only a second's pause.

"I tried. She was pinned. I couldn't get her out. She was messed up pretty bad. Dead, I guess. But I tried to get her out anyway. I couldn't get her out. And then… "

Jack's breathing quickened and his voice took on a hard, angry edge. Janet stepped forward, with sedation ready, but Hammond waved her back. Soon, Jack went on.

"And then that son of a bitch shot me! And I woke up here! That's what happened! Now, where is that mutinous Jaffa bastard?"

Jack's voice was becoming more and more irate, and finally Hammond stood and spoke.

"That's enough, Jack."

At first, O'Neill didn't respond, and Fraiser again readied her drugs. "I can't believe he shot me! That sorry… "

Hammond's voice cut across Jack's tirade. "I said, that's ENOUGH, Jack."

O'Neill's mouth snapped shut like a trap door, and his eyes met the General's. "Yes, sir."

The response was conditioned, but it was effective, so Hammond took it. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, then spoke slowly.

"Jack, I'm only going to say this once. I wasn't on that planet, and I don't know exactly what happened, but from what I can tell, Teal'c acted accordingly for the situation. Now, we're going to send a MALP through ASAP and try to find out if it's safe to send a rescue and recovery team back there to search for Major Carter, but in the mean time, I want you to try to relax. Let someone else handle this, Jack."

It was a long moment before Jack responded, and for a moment Hammond thought that Jack had accepted his words, but when Jack finally did speak, all of the General's hopes for Jack's understanding of Teal'c's actions were dashed.

"General, with all due respect, only I can decide if Teal'c 'acted accordingly' on that damned planet, and I will never, _never_ accept his actions. I want him off my team and off this base yesterday, or I swear to God, I'll kill him myself. Is that clear,_sir_?"

Jack's voice was laced with acid, and so cold Hammond shivered slightly inside, but the General had not achieved his rank by backing down to junior officers. Hammond leaned his head to one side and regarded O'Neill for a minute, then spoke calmly.

"Your opinion is duly noted, Colonel, but any decisions in this matter are my responsibility, and for now, Teal'c is to remain confined to quarters under on his own recognizance, and you are to do the same. Is that clear, _Colonel_?"

O'Neill glared at his CO for a full minute, then reluctantly mumbled a response. "Yes, sir."

Hammond nodded. He didn't want to restrict Jack or Teal'c, but he knew he had to for the safety of both men right now. "Good. Dr. Fraiser, release Colonel O'Neill from the infirmary and make sure he follows my orders."

Fraiser nodded back and signaled to the guards at the door that they could escort Colonel O'Neill to his quarters on base.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

The next days were long ones for Jack. Hammond, Fraiser, Daniel, and others continually stopped by his quarters to check on him and update him on the progress of the investigation into Sam's death. Jack received them all graciously, then sent them on their way as quickly as possible. He did not leave his quarters and never asked to. He showed only a perfunctory interest in anything regarding the goings on of the base. Finally, after forty-nine hours, Daniel Jackson showed up at Jack O'Neill's door, no longer in a mood to tolerate O'Neill's behavior.

After four series of loud knocks, the door was finally pulled inward by a very disheveled Colonel.

Daniel took one look at Jack and snorted. "Been drinking, Jack?"

O'Neill shrugged and ushered Daniel inside.

Daniel followed Jack into the small suite and started to babble somewhat quickly.

"So, the MALP's been sent, and there's no sign of Sam anywhere, but the gate still works, obviously. The earthquake didn't take that out. So, Hammond sent a rescue team through to see if they can find any trace of Sam… but that's old news. You knew that, huh?"

Daniel trailed off as he noticed the glazed look in Jack's eyes. O'Neill seemed supremely uninterested in what Daniel was saying, and this puzzled the younger man.

Daniel snapped his fingers at Jack. "Jack? Hey! You listening? I thought you'd want to know this stuff, but every time I try to update you, you don't even pretend to listen. Hammond told me he had you confined to quarters until this mess could get straightened out, but I never thought for a minute you'd actually listen. Why haven't you been with us, trying to find Sam, to see if maybe…"

Jack's voice interrupted with the subtlety of a hand grenade. "Because there's no maybe, Daniel. Carter's gone. She's dead. I saw it with my own eyes. There's nothing to do on that God-forsaken piece of rock except find a body, if we're lucky."

As Jack spoke, his eyes took on a hard edge, and Daniel suddenly realized that Jack's seeming coldness was his way of dealing with this. He hadn't allowed himself to feel anything because he was simply feeling too much to be able to process anything. Daniel had seen this in Jack before, and he'd even been there himself a few times, so he recognized the phenomenon. A long moment passed in silence while Daniel decided it was best not to argue with Jack just then. Finally, the younger man spoke again.

"So, we sent a message to Jacob, and we've heard back from the Tok'ra, but it will be at least another day until Jacob can get to Earth. He was on some sort of mission and our message was delayed in reaching him. He doesn't know that Sam's, um, gone, yet, but Hammond sent word that he needed to get here as soon as possible."

Jack grimaced. "That's nice."

Anger started to lick at Daniel's insides, and his voice rose in volume. "Jack, are you even listening? Did you even hear what I said? What's nice about us having to tell Jacob Carter that his only daughter is missing and probably dead?"

Daniel's words had come without thought, but when he saw the effect they had on Jack, he immediately regretted them. The muscles of Jack's left cheek had flinched meaningfully, and a slight tension seemed to build in Jack's entire body. He stiffened and then nearly winced as Daniel finished talking.

Daniel sputtered to a halt and suddenly found he had no more words. For the first time, his mind firmly grasped the idea that Sam was gone forever. His soul exploded with sudden pain and grief. Disbelief that they could lose Carter to something so stupid and so random flooded his system, and he wanted nothing more than to collapse to the floor and wallow in the emotions that were overtaking him.

He looked to Jack for support and comfort. He needed it.

But he wasn't going to get it.

Jack's momentary flinch of pain had passed. His eyes were cold and emotionless again, and his next words ripped the chasm in Daniel's heart open wider than he could've ever imagined.

"I told you before, Daniel. There's no probably. Carter is gone. The sooner we all accept that and move on, the better we'll all be. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to try to get some sleep."

Daniel blinked in shock at the man who was supposedly his best friend, then mutely nodded. He could think of nothing else to do. His feet stumbled backwards until he was out of Jack's quarters, and Jack swung the door shut behind him.

As the door clicked closed, Daniel turned and nearly ran to his own quarters. When he was alone, his emotions finally overcame all semblance of control that remained to him.

His knees hit the floor hard, and sobs wracked his body. He shed very few actual tears, but his body shook with a strength of emotion that could not be denied. His fit didn't last long, but when his grief was spent, Daniel was exhausted. It was all he could do to crawl into his bed while still in his clothes. His brain was nearly non-functional, and only physical exhaustion forced his pain to abate enough that sleep finally claimed him.

Jack O'Neill had no such emotional tantrum after Daniel left. His response to the events of the evening was much more succinct.

As he climbed into bed, Jack's wide awake but nearly unseeing eyes stared at the ceiling as his lips formed the one word that seemed appropriate for his actions.

"Shit."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Jacob Carter arrived the following day, and his old friend George Hammond was waiting for him.

Jacob immediately knew that there was trouble by the look on Hammond's face, but he waited until he'd been shown to George's private office before asking his friend about it.

"Is it Sam?" Jacob's guts were already telling him that it was, and Hammond's stony silence confirmed it.

"George, tell me. What is it?"

Hammond nodded to his friend. "I think you'd better sit down, Jacob."

The retired General turned Tok'ra shook his head. "Just spit it out, George. What's going on?"

Hammond sighed and nodded again, slowly. "Ok. Jacob, Sam's missing. Presumed dead."

Jacob reached one hand out and grabbed hold of the back of one of the chairs in Hammond's office. His breath caught a little in his throat and his head bowed low as the news sunk in, but his head quickly raised again, and Hammond was surprised at the voice that came from his friend.

Selmak's deeper, resonant tones continued the conversation.

"How did this happen?"

Hammond paused only a second upon the change in ownership of Jacob's body. He was pretty used to such things by now, and there was a part of him that envied his friend's ability to allow the older and much more clinical Selmak to handle this.

The story was told from start to finish in minutes. As Hammond talked, Selmak calmly listened and took a seat in one of the chairs in the small room. George followed suit and sat in the large chair behind his desk.

When Hammond was done speaking, silence reigned for several moments.

Finally, a voice came from the Tok'ra. It wasn't Selmak's.

It hitched just a little, but was resolute. "Call off the search."

Hammond reached one hand across his desk in a calming gesture. "Now, wait just a minute, Jacob."

The elder Carter shook his head. "No, George. Call off the search."

"I think that's a bit premature."

Jacob shook his head again. "From everything you've told me, it's not."

Hammond started to protest again, but again Jacob bowed his head and then raised it. Selmak's voice clearly pierced the room before Hammond could speak.

"If both Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c have stated that Samantha is dead, then it is most certainly fact. And your men are at risk if they remain on the planet. Another earthquake could strike at any time. Calling off the search is the only course of action here that makes any sense."

Hammond knew his old friend was right, but he couldn't quite bring himself to admit defeat yet.

"But we'd like to… "

Selmak interrupted, a rare action on his part. "You'd like to recover the body. That is understandable, but not advisable in this situation, and from what you have told me of the area in question, you are not likely to succeed."

"And Jacob is certain he agrees?"

Selmak immediately bowed his head. It stayed glued to his chest for much longer than usual, but it finally rose again, and this time the face on it was a tortured mask of pain. Jacob nodded.

"I do, George. God help me, but I do. Call it off, George."


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

Hammond recalled the search and recovery teams the same day.

He could do little else in light of the situation. The area where Major Carter had last been seen was nothing but a mass of rubble, and sonar showed no trace of her remains. He would have to order a full scale excavation that would probably take months to make a real effort to find Sam. To top it off, the area was continually bombarded with tremors, and the General knew that Jacob was right. It was only a matter of time before another big quake hit and he lost more soldiers to that damned planet. Hell, they could lose the Gate entirely and strand everyone. It was too big of a risk to take.

The men were recalled, and after a briefing in which Hammond and Jacob stood side by side and informed the elite members of the SGC of the plan, only two other men needed to be told.

Daniel had protested the withdrawal at first, just as Hammond had, but he finally realized the correctness of the action, and he volunteered, reluctantly, to inform Jack.

Hammond wondered if something had occurred between the two men in the last twenty-four hours to cause the strain he saw in Daniel, but he knew that in this difficult time he couldn't expect everyone to cope all the time, so he didn't push things for now. Hammond decided that Daniel was probably just grieving, like everyone else.

As the meeting broke up, Janet Fraiser agreed to tell Teal'c of the halting of the search, and Hammond was grateful. The doctor had been close to Sam, but she seemed to be holding up pretty well, all things considered.

He didn't realize that the petite woman had an ulterior motive.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

Teal'c hadn't properly kelnoreemed in days. Ever since SG-1 had lost Major Carter, he simply couldn't accomplish the task. Whenever he closed his eyes, images of Sam's lifeless body flashed into his mind. When he tried to focus his gaze on a burning candle flame, O'Neill's panicked digging returned to him. His ears, too, didn't allow him rest. They were full of clattering rocks, frantic breathing, and Sam's very short but blood-curdling scream.

But worst of all, Teal'c's vision constantly swam with the image of Jack's face as the zat discharge played over his body. The look of horrified betrayal that had frozen there as Jack's body went limp cut Teal'c to his very soul.

Teal'c knew he'd done the right thing by forcibly removing O'Neill from the cave, but it didn't make him feel any better about his actions. Jack would have died with Sam if Teal'c hadn't interfered, and Teal'c knew that his death in such a manner would have been pointless and far too costly to the SCG for him to have allowed it.

Still, Teal'c knew that O'Neill would have preferred to die with Sam. The idea of leaving her behind, even dead, was almost more than Teal'c could stomach, despite the logical commander part of his brain that knew it was the correct tactical course of action. If there had been any hope at all that Sam was alive, Teal'c would've been right there with O'Neill, digging frenetically through the debris that trapped his friend. He would never have given up on trying to get her out, and the cave would have claimed three lives instead of just the one.

He and Jack would've gone out fighting.

Teal'c often wished they had.

Jack wasn't the only one who lived by the mantra of 'never leave anyone behind'. And even though Teal'c knew that Sam had expired in that cave, even though he knew that she would've wanted him to save both Jack and himself, he couldn't help feeling like a traitor and a coward. He'd made the choice to leave Sam behind, and the taste of that betrayal sat in the pit of his stomach continually. He hadn't eaten since arriving back at the SGC without Carter, either.

He was tired. He was hungry. And his body was starting to feel the effects of his lack of attention to it. His head ached and tiny hammers pounded into his eyes constantly. His stomach lurched and grumbled and the taste of bile in the back of his throat was an ever-present reminder of his state.

And worst of all, he hurt.

Every fiber of Teal'c's being ached with the melancholy of loss.

He'd lost so much in his life, and it simply didn't seem fair. Teal'c was Jaffa, and he would always be strong, at least outwardly, but his internal turmoil over Sam's death was as intense as the most powerful hurricane one could imagine.

He wanted to rage against the world. He wanted to hurt those responsible for Carter's death.

But he couldn't avenge Sam. The circumstances of her death were too random. He couldn't levy justice on rocks and stone. And he couldn't rage against those around him, as much as he wanted to. He was still an alien to this world, and he saw mistrust in the eyes of those around him. The guards at his door tried to hide it, but Teal'c knew that everyone had questions about what had really happened to Sam. Jack's anger and Teal'c's involvement looked suspicious, and for the common airman Teal'c was guilty until proven innocent of any mistakes or lapses in judgment or even outright action that had killed Sam.

Teal'c was a newly-defected first prime of Apophis all over again. Any trust he'd garnered with the Tau'ri had been blasted away to nothingness. Hammond and Jackson and Fraiser seemed to still accept him, but Teal'c felt unworthy of their willingness to embrace him. Jack O'Neill's reaction at least seemed more honest. Teal'c expected nothing less than pure anger from Jack, and while he'd wanted to talk to his CO upon first returning to the SGC, he now knew that nothing would make a difference. Most of Jack's anger was displaced pain, and Teal'c knew that, but he also knew that Jack would never trust him again.

And that was the icing on the cake, as it were. The pain of losing Sam was horrendous for Teal'c, who loved Carter like a sister, but when it was augmented by the fact that Teal'c's actions had also lost him his friend Jack O'Neill, it was nearly too much for even a Jaffa to take.

He wanted to stop the pain any way he could. But work was unavailable to him. He couldn't take out his hostility on enemy Jaffa. He couldn't blast Goa'uld mother ships into oblivion to ease his pain. He couldn't beat the living daylights out of an opponent. None were available to him.

Teal'c looked downward to his symbiote pouch.

He looked carefully around the room.

There were a hundred ways available to him to end this, right now.

But suicide is not honorable for a Jaffa, and as much as Teal'c was tempted, he could not leave this world in such a cowardly way.

He would continue to fight.

This enemy was more terrible than any he had faced in battle, but he would not surrender.

At least not yet.

He would fight another day.

And if he was lucky, he thought that maybe, just maybe, the battle might take him to the next world, and he would not fight it when it did.

Teal'c became lost in this thought, and he didn't notice the loud pounding on the door to his quarters until it repeated itself.

As it did, he shook himself and stood, then opened the door. He found Doctor Janet Fraiser standing on his doorstep, tapping one foot and looking a little irritated.

Janet took one look at the huge Jaffa and huffed to herself. "Teal'c," she said in greeting.

"Doctor Fraiser."

"May I come in?"

Teal'c opened the door further and extended one arm graciously. "Certainly."

Janet stepped into the small apartment and turned to face Teal'c once the door was shut behind her. She took a deep breath and launched into her announcement without preamble.

"I'm here to tell you that General Hammond has called off the search for Major Carter."

Fraiser's voice was clipped and brisk, and her use of Sam's title, rather than her name, indicated her stress. It took Teal'c a moment, but he finally responded.

"Is it not premature to do so at this time?"

Janet sighed. "Apparently not. The planet is unstable and there is a risk to the search crews. Also, Jacob is here and he doesn't want the search to continue."

Teal'c nodded. "Then I suppose the decision is warranted."

Fraiser nodded back. "Yeah."

Teal'c turned toward the door, intending to show Janet out, now that her errand was done.

"Thank you for informing me of these events, Doctor."

Janet paused and made no move toward the exit. Teal'c noticed, and his brow furrowed slightly.

"Is there something else with which I can assist you, Doctor Fraiser?"

Janet's eyes narrowed, and she faced Teal'c. "Actually, yes, there is, Teal'c. When did you last kelnoreem?"

Teal'c shifted slightly on his feet and looked away from the petite doctor. "I am fine."

Janet tilted her head to one side, then smiled mirthlessly. "I doubt that very much, Teal'c, but that is not what I asked. When did you last kelnoreem? For that matter, when did you last eat?"

"I fail to see why that is relevant."

Janet sighed. "It's relevant because I say it is, Teal'c. And because I've already lost one friend this week, and I don't want to lose another. Between you and Colonel O'Neill you're going to be the death of me."

Teal'c still did not look at Fraiser, but he answered.

"I do not believe that many on this base share your opinion of me, Doctor Fraiser."

Janet laid one hand on Teal'c's strong forearm. "Teal'c, I don't care what anyone else says. You're as much a part of this base as anyone else, and you've become family for a lot of us. You've got to take care of yourself, no matter how hard it is. Now, I know that a sedative won't really help you to rest, but just promise me you'll try. And eat something. I know it's hard, but just try, ok?"

Teal'c nodded deeply and then froze with his head hung low. The kindness of this woman was nearly his undoing, and Teal'c could not trust himself to look at her. "I will try, Doctor Fraiser. But I make no guarantees."

Janet sighed. "Me, neither, Teal'c. Me neither."

Then Janet patted the large forearm twice and stepped out the door.

It was a long time before Teal'c raised his head again.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

Several hallways away, Daniel Jackson knocked on Jack O'Neill's door.

As he waited for Jack to answer, Daniel heaved a huge sigh. He wasn't looking forward to this at all.

When Jack finally pulled open the door, Daniel gave him a half-hearted wave.

"Hey, Jack."

"Daniel."

"Can I come in?"

Jack shrugged. "Sure."

Daniel stepped inside and sighed again. He took a seat on Jack's sofa and let out a long breath, then spoke slowly.

"So, Hammond's called off the search."

Jack nodded. "Didn't take long."

"No. I tried to argue, to get them to keep looking, but… "

Jack shook his head. "No, it's the right thing to do. She's gone, Daniel. No sense risking more lives."

"So you heard that the planet was still a little shaky?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah."

Jack sat down next to Daniel on the couch and sighed. It was the first time Daniel had seen anything other than cold detachment from Jack and he wondered if Jack was finally starting to deal with the loss of Sam. It was quiet for a long moment, then Daniel spoke again.

"Um… so… there's going to be a memorial, and, um, Hammond asked me to see if you wanted to say anything."

Silence stretched to a near breaking point before Jack responded. "No."

Daniel blinked. "No?"

Jack stared hard back at Daniel. "No. I don't want to say anything."

"Well, I would think you would."

"Well, you think wrong."

Daniel opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure what to say. Finally, he settled on acceptance. "Um, ok, then. If you change your mind…"

"I won't."

Daniel was flummoxed. "Jack, come on… what are you doing?"

Jack glared at Daniel for a moment then answered slowly as he stood up suddenly. His moment of weakness was over, and he was back in full denial mode. "What am I doing, Daniel? I'm going home, that's what I'm doing. Don't think for a minute that I don't know why they're keeping me here. They want to keep an eye on me. Make sure the poor tragic Colonel isn't going to do something stupid. Well, that's my choice to make, and nobody's business, but tell them I'll be fine. I'm going home. Tell Hammond he can stop me if he wants to, but he'll have a fight on his hands. I'm out of here."

When he was done talking, Jack turned away from Daniel roughly and headed out into the hall. Daniel knew there was no stopping Jack O'Neill once he made his mind up about something, so he let him go. He only hoped Jack really wouldn't do anything stupid, after all.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

Hammond accepted Jack's absence and allowed his second in command to dictate the location of his leave, but he did require O'Neill to check in daily, which Jack did without argument.

Jack also made no attempt to stop Daniel's phone calls and frequent unannounced, prolonged visits to his house over the next two days. He knew there was no way he could stop the archeologist from checking in on him, and it was easier not to try than to fight it.

But Jack did not change his mind about speaking at Carter's memorial, and he never wavered in his resolve to not discuss anything that had happened on his last mission. He never showed any sign of opening up to Daniel, and he always managed to change the subject to something safe, like sports or television, if things got too close for comfort.

Daniel was frustrated with Jack's behavior, but he knew that only time would allow Jack to deal with this pain, so he let things slide for the time being. Daniel's frustration with Jack was only magnified by the fact that Teal'c gave him pretty much the same routine when he tried to get the Jaffa to talk about Jack or Sam.

'What is it with these soldier types?' thought Daniel. 'Can't they see that even if they don't need to talk about this, _I_ do?'

Daniel sighed as he heard a knock on his front door. He glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly eleven o'clock. He had no idea who might be calling at this hour.

Daniel walked to the door and looked out the peephole. When he saw who was on the other side, he leaned his head against the door for just a moment, then took a deep breath and opened it to reveal one Doctor Janet Fraiser on his doorstep.

Janet looked like hell, and it was obvious this wasn't a professional visit. She was keeping it together pretty well, but as she looked up at Daniel, it was plain that she was trying to hold in tears.

Daniel didn't think about his next movements. His own grief was barely controlled, and as he saw his pain mirrored in Janet's eyes, it consumed him.

He opened his arms wide and Fraiser stepped into them. They were no longer friends or doctor and patient. They were merely two humans in pain, and they shared that pain in an embrace that seemed to last an eternity and that nearly crushed the air from both of their chests.

At some point, Daniel kicked the door shut, but otherwise the pair was unmoving.

Finally, after a time neither one of them could quantify, Daniel pushed Janet back to arm's length and spoke gently.

"Bad night?"

Janet nodded and sniffed once.

"Yeah."

"Where's Cassie?"

"A friend of hers had a big sleepover planned. We talked a lot about it, but she decided she should go; that it would be what Sam wanted. I'm not sure she's ok, but she's coping, and I thought it best if I let her make her own decision on it. She's supposed to call me if she needs me, but honestly, I think it's better if she stays busy."

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. It's the down time that's the hardest."

Janet snorted her agreement. "Yeah. She's really gone, isn't she, Daniel?"

"I guess so. It's hard to believe."

"Yeah, it is. I was ok as long as I had to be brave for Cassie, but with her not home…"

"You didn't want to be alone," finished Daniel.

Janet nodded again. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Daniel. I know I shouldn't just show up here unannounced, but…"

"Hey, hey, it's ok," interrupted Daniel. "You know you're welcome here anytime, and truth be told, I could use the company."

Fraiser's expression perked up slightly. "Thanks, Daniel. I just couldn't be in the house tonight. Nothing could distract me from the thought that Sam is really gone, and I couldn't think of what to do, so I went out. I've been driving around for hours. I ended up here."

"I know what you mean. I've tried to read or write, but the words just won't come. And…"

Daniel trailed off, and Janet's brow wrinkled in concern. "And what?"

Daniel let go of Janet finally and turned away from her. He ran one hand down the back of his neck and sighed. "It's nothing."

Auburn eyebrows rose in suspicion as Janet took off her coat and followed Daniel into his living room. "Don't give me that. What is it?"

Daniel shook his head as he and Janet sat down on the couch. "It's stupid, really. I don't know why I let it bother me. It's not like I expected anything else…"

Janet nodded slightly and the tiniest smile graced her lips, but there was no joy in it.

"Let me guess. Colonel O'Neill."

"Got it in one," Daniel replied with a snort.

"Not talking, huh?"

"Not a word."

'Well, you're right that we really couldn't expect anything else. It's just his way, Daniel. You know that."

"I know, but…"

Janet cut him off by laying a hand on his arm. "Yeah, I know. We all miss her, and it'd be nice if we could do it together."

Daniel nodded. "And Teal'c's just as bad."

"Yeah, I checked in on him earlier today. I've been going by every afternoon on the pretense of making sure he's okay medically, but the truth is I just want to know he's still there. That he's still with us. I was angry with him at first, before I knew what happened, but now I don't know what to think. God, I miss her, Daniel. And seeing what her loss is doing to the rest of us is killing me. I can't believe we lost her, but…"

Daniel finished her thought as Janet lost her personal battle to hold in tears. "But it's that much worse now because we've lost Jack and Teal'c, too. They're right in front of us, but they may as well be on the other side of the galaxy."

Fraiser sniffed and nodded, and Daniel slowly pulled her back into his arms.

They held each other a long time yet again, and each took comfort from the other. They didn't speak, but they didn't have to. It was enough for both of them that they were finally able to let their grief out. They didn't have to be strong, at least not for the moment, and it was an immeasurable relief. Finally, however, the pair separated again, and Daniel did speak.

"So, um, you want something to drink?"

Fraiser was startled by the question for a second. "What?"

"Or eat? Anything? I feel like I'm being a bad host."

"Oh, please," laughed Janet. "I show up on your doorstep unannounced in the middle of the night and then lose my mind. I'd say you've done just fine."

Daniel laughed. "Janet, I told you before, I don't mind a bit. And I'm only asking because I'm hungry, if that makes you feel any better."

"It does, actually, thanks."

"No problem. So, um, snacks?"

Janet nodded. "Sure."

"Ok." Daniel stood and made his way to the kitchen. Once there, he pulled several kinds of crackers, some cheeses, and other snacks out of his cupboards and piled them on a small plate. He took this to the living room and set it on the coffee table in front of Fraiser.

"Oh, snack plate. Most excellent choice, sir," teased Janet.

Daniel grinned. It was nice to be distracted from Sam for a while. "Your wish is my command, madam," he said sarcastically.

Fraiser laughed, and Daniel smiled then continued the charade. "And what did the lady have in mind for a drink this evening?"

Janet put one finger to her lips and pretended to be deep in thought. "I believe a nice zinfandel would suffice, garcon."

Daniel sighed melodramatically. "I'm sorry, my lady, but the chateau is out of zinfandel this evening. Perhaps a fine Grigio instead?"

Daniel's feigned customer huffed. "I suppose that will suffice."

Half an hour later, Daniel and Janet had eaten their fill of cheese and crackers, but the wine was still flowing fast, and neither had any complaints about that. They continued to drink and chat long into the night. Their moods were as up and down as a roller coaster, and tears flowed as often as laughter, but again they had no complaints. They reveled in each other's companionship after so many days spent alone with nothing but their grief to keep them company.

They finally succumbed to slumber while trying to figure out why Jack found British comedy so amusing as it aired late into the night on PBS. Janet dozed first, while leaning on Daniel's shoulder. He didn't have the heart to wake her, and he soon joined her in the land of Morpheus.

They moved during the night, but they did not let go of one another, and morning would find them in each other's arms, united in grief and with the slight scent of wine and tears still clinging stubbornly to both of them.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Morning would also bring the day of Major Samantha Carter's memorial service. Janet hadn't planned on being at Daniel's on this day, so she hustled out the door early, and Daniel was right behind her. They didn't talk about the previous night, but there was no discomfort or nervousness between them as they quickly munched on some leftover muffins and went their separate ways.

Janet had to pick up Cassie and arrange delivery of the flowers for the service.

Daniel had to play chauffeur to Jacob and pick up Mark and his family at the airport.

But eventually, when all was said and done, Daniel returned home and got dressed to attend an event he'd never imagined in his worst nightmares.

As he tied his tie, he looked in the mirror and sighed. He'd always thought that if one of them fell, it would be Jack. And he'd always expected the loss to happen in battle. The absolute stupidity of Sam's death came crashing in on Daniel for the hundredth time, and his hands gripped the edge of his bathroom sink as he cursed under his breath. He struggled to control himself, but he could feel his finely tuned façade of sanity slipping away from him.

He was saved by a knock at his door. It distracted him and he straightened up with a slight sniff.

Through all of this, only one person had remained a shoulder to lean on. Just one person kept Daniel sane and gave him some outlet for the storm of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him constantly. She'd stayed last night out of her own need, but she'd also been a tremendous comfort to him, and she was here now. Daniel rapidly finished dressing and ran to open the door.

Janet Fraiser stood on Daniel's step with her adopted daughter Cassandra in tow.

"You ready?" asked Janet.

Daniel sighed. "As I'll ever be."

Fraiser nodded bravely. "Same here. Come on, let's go."

Daniel nodded and grabbed his jacket as he stepped outside into a crisp autumn afternoon. The leaves were falling, and he couldn't help but think that was appropriate for the task before him.

Daniel and Janet were the main speakers for Sam's memorial, and while it was a task they'd never wanted to even contemplate, much less actually plan, but they would do their duties as best they could.

A cold gust of wind suddenly picked up and blew right through Daniel's jacket. He shivered and then sighed as the wind died down. Even the weather seemed to be against him today. It had already been a very long day, and it was far from over.

XXX

Sam's service took place outside. There had been much debate about whether to have it in the SGC, in front of an open wormhole, but in the end a traditional service had been planned. Jacob had been the deciding factor in that. He wanted his entire family present for a single service, and it would've been too hard to get Mark and his wife and children cleared for such a thing.

And so it was that a simple closed casket funeral took place in a Colorado Springs cemetery. Everyone except the extended family knew there was no body in the casket, but it didn't matter. The funeral brought a sense of closure for everyone, and Jacob wanted to keep it as 'normal' as possible.

General Hammond and a minister presided over the proceedings, and Janet spoke on behalf of Cassandra, who wanted everyone to know that Sam had saved her life but was too shy and overwhelmed to talk herself.

Then Daniel stepped up to the small podium at the head of the casket and cleared his throat.

As Cassie huddled against her adoptive mother and bravely sniffed back her tears, Daniel took a deep breath and bowed his head for a moment. When he raised it, something caught his eye and made him freeze for a moment.

A tawny silver head stood above and to one side of the crowd. It hadn't been there before.

Daniel stared at Jack O'Neill for a full minute before he found his voice. His carefully prepared speech fled from his mind as he absorbed Jack's presence. Daniel had seen Jack's truck in the cemetery parking lot, but when he'd noticed that Jack wasn't in attendance for the start of the service, he'd wondered if he was going to come at all. But here he was, bookending the crowd with Teal'c on the very opposite end. Teal'c had been a somewhat late arrival, too, but it looked like both men wanted to pay their respects to the memory of Sam Carter, and their personal differences had been set aside, at least for the moment.

Jack stood ramrod straight in full dress blues. His eyes were bare of any sunglasses, which surprised Daniel a little, but his hat was pulled low on his brow to hide as much of his countenance as possible. He looked every bit the perfect picture of military precision. His face was impassive, and his eyes were unmoving and emotionless. Not a single fiber of his being so much as twitched. If one didn't know him, they would have taken him for a stone cold statue of a man.

But Jack's stance conveyed nothing of the sort to Daniel. His very lack of movement indicated his inner turmoil, and Daniel's soul ached for his friend. There was a distant look to Jack's eyes, as if he was completely disconnected to everything going on around him, and Daniel knew that was the only way Jack was getting through this.

Jack was keeping everything at arm's length and just praying that it would stay there. Daniel sighed and suddenly came back to himself as he wished for the thousandth time that Jack would let go of his control for just one minute and allow himself to actually deal with what had happened.

But Daniel knew that time would not be now. In front of his friends and those under his command, Jack O'Neill would never falter. Like Teal'c and Hammond and even Jacob, Jack's inner warrior would force him to stand strong.

Daniel sighed again and looked at his notes. Slowly, in a faltering voice, he began his speech.

His words were eloquent and flowing, and he managed to deliver them without too much trouble, but as Daniel spoke, everyone was lost in their own little world of grief and no one would remember them later, including Daniel.

Janet would focus on comforting Cassie to control her own pain.

Mark would hold tightly to his wife and children and feel anger at the military rise within him.

General Hammond would fall into a deep inner depression about the number of funerals he'd attended through the years.

Jack would hold on to the only thing keeping him from losing his mind. He'd latch on to his anger at Teal'c as a way to push his own pain down in to the recesses of his soul.

Teal'c would continue to bear his burden alone and with a mask of perfect stoicism.

And Jacob Carter would argue with himself.

'Please,' Jacob's inner voice pleaded. 'Please do this for me.'

Selmak hesitated as the body that was his home shuddered slightly with a barely contained sob.

_You know that it will be only a temporary relief, Jacob._

'I know, but I can't do this here. Just get me through this, Selmak. Please. I can't do it. I don't want to cry in front of my son. Please help me.'

Selmak would have sighed if he'd been able to. _There is no shame in tears, Jacob, and I believe Mark might even appreciate them, but for you, just this once, I will do this._

'Thank you.'

No one noticed when Jacob bowed his head down low to his chest, or if they did they thought it was merely in grief, but when the retired General raised his head again, his composure did not falter for the rest of the service.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

The funeral was followed by a reception, and nearly everyone attended. No one was surprised that Jack and Teal'c made themselves scarce, however, and the future of SG-1 was on the forefront of everyone's mind.

As is usual for such things, the crowd eventually broke into little groups, and somehow George Hammond found himself alone with his old friend Jacob Carter. Jake spoke in his usual voice. Selmak had long since given control of their shared body back to its original owner, as Jacob's emotions were more controllable now.

"So, you're in a bit of a pickle, huh, George?"

Hammond huffed a short sigh. "You can say that again, Jacob. Normally, I'd get Jack O'Neill back out in the field ASAP, but this situation is a little different."

"You can't send him out there with Teal'c, and the idea of putting him with a new team is ludicrous."

"Exactly."

"Still," mused Jacob, "you need to get Jackson back out there, too. He's coming apart at the seams, George. And earthside treaties and such will only go so far. You know he can do those in his sleep. It's not enough to distract him."

"I know, Jacob, but what am I supposed to do? Putting him with another team is nearly as problematic as trying to place Colonel O'Neill."

"True. George, I hate to say it, but I think you need to face the fact that SG-1 may be no more. We've lost Sam, and you and I both know that while Jack will continue to be a good field officer, he'll never be the same. When you add this wrinkle with Teal'c into the mix…"

Hammond's sigh cut across his friend. "I know, Jacob. I know. In fact, I'll be surprised if Jack doesn't try to retire again and Teal'c doesn't head back to Chulak."

Jacob nodded in understanding. "Me, too, George. It's too bad, too. They bring a lot to the table."

Hammond sighed again. "Yeah. I don't know what to do about it, though."

"I don't think there's much you can do. You're right about one thing, though. If Jack doesn't retire, you need to get him working yesterday."

"But he's just so angry, Jacob. I can't trust him to think straight about anything right now. He'd be a liability out there."

Silence fell between the two Generals then and Jacob seemed lost in thought. Finally, however, he spoke again. His voice was quiet and insistent.

"George?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Teal'c did the right thing?"

Hammond hesitated. "Yes, I do. I don't envy the choice he had to make, but I believe it was the correct one based on the story as I know it."

"And you think that story is accurate?"

"Judging by the injuries sustained by Colonel O'Neill and the lack of any evidence to the contrary, yes, I do."

"Then Jack really has no right to be angry."

"Well, you know Jack, Jacob."

"Yes. Yes, I do." Jacob's voice took on a harder edge, then he continued after a tiny pause.

"Excuse me, please, George."

Hammond nodded in confused acceptance of his friend's actions and turned back to the ever-dwindling crowd at the reception as a new emotion took hold of General Jacob Carter.

It surprised him at first, but Jacob latched on to this new feeling like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver. It distracted him from the pain of his loss. As it tightened its hold on him, he quietly slipped out of the reception. Mark and his family had already headed to a local motel, and Jacob could always apologize to Daniel later for catching another ride out of there.

As he reached into his pocket for the cellular phone Daniel had given him for emergencies, Selmak stirred restlessly in his mind.

_Jacob, what are you doing?_

'Stay out of this, Selmak.'

_Why are you angry?_

'Because he has no right to screw everything up like this. It's bad enough that I've lost Sam, but dammit, she'd want her team together, and that can't happen until Jack lets go of his anger at Teal'c. He did the right thing here. As much as I give Jack a hard time, he's a good man, and there was no sense in losing him too. He has to see that. He just won't because it's easier for him to be mad at Teal'c than to deal with this.'

_What is that Tau'ri saying, Jacob? Something about the pot calling the kettle black?_

'Shut up, Selmak.'

Selmak did as he was told, and twenty minutes later a yellow taxi cab picked up Jacob Carter.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

The ride to the O'Neill residence was a short one, and Jacob stepped out of the cab and paid the driver on autopilot. He wasn't exactly sure what he was doing here, but he knew he was angry with Jack, and that propelled him to the younger man's door.

His knock was sharp and loud, but it still failed to bring Jack to the door until it was repeated twice. Jacob heard Jack long before he saw him.

"Oh for cryin' out loud, Daniel, hold on! I'll be there in a minute!"

Jack jerked open the door with his mouth still open, but any additional words died in his throat as he realized it was not a younger archeologist on his porch, but an older General and even older Tok'ra. Jack muttered a few unintelligible sounds and stood in his doorway like a statue.

Jacob stared back at the younger man and finally spoke.

"Nice to see you, too, Jack. May I come in?"

Jack nodded and stepped back from the door, allowing Jacob inside the house.

The door shut behind Jacob and silence fell for a long moment as Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and Jacob looked appraisingly around the house. Finally, Jack broke the stillness.

"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods, Jacob?"

Jacob didn't turn and face Jack. He didn't shift his body posture. He didn't even bat an eye. However, he did effectively freeze Jack O'Neill, both physically and emotionally, as he clearly enunciated one word.

"Teal'c."

Jack's always present movements suddenly stopped, and a deadly stillness seemed to come over him. When Jack didn't respond in any other way, Jacob turned and looked Jack dead in the eye.

Jack held Jacob's glare for a long moment, then looked away and mumbled a response.

"What about him?"

Jacob chewed the inside of his lip. "Just wondered when you were going to get over this thing you have with him."

Jack's hackles almost visibly rose, and his voice took on a hard, sarcastic edge. "And what 'thing' would that be, Jacob?"

"Oh, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, Jack."

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't," argued Jack. "Why don't you spell it out for me?"

"Don't play that game with me, Colonel."

"I'm not playing anything."

"That's bullshit, Jack, and you know it."

As they exchanged these words, both Jacob and Jack crept closer to one another. They were now standing mere inches apart, and both showed no signs of backing down. Jacob's challenge was met with an icy cold stare, but the elder Carter returned it in spades.

It took an eternity for either man to speak again, and it was Jack who broke the silence. His voice lost its colder, harder edge, but none of its vitriol.

"No, I'll tell you what's bullshit, Jacob. It's bullshit that we lost Carter." Jack's voice broke just a little as he spoke, but his composure didn't waver. "It's bullshit that she's gone. That some fucking rocks, God damn it, rocks, took her from us. And it's bullshit that that son of a bitch Jaffa drug me out of there against my will. That he didn't give me the choice…"

Jacob's strong voice cut across Jack's, and as he spoke it rose in intensity to a near frenzy. "The choice to get yourself killed, Jack? That's it, isn't it? You're pissed at Teal'c for saving your life. And here I thought you were mad because maybe you thought you might have saved Sam. But that's not it, is it? You know there was nothing you could do for her! That's why you haven't fought any of this! But dealing with losing her is too damn hard for you, isn't it? So you want to take the chicken shit way out. You wish you'd died back there so you wouldn't have to feel what you feel now. One good crack to the head, and BOOM! Jack O'Neill is history. No more grief. No more pain. Curtains for the Colonel. And doing it that way means you don't have to ante up the balls to do it yourself, right? Yeah, well that's all fine and good, Jackieboy, but where would that leave the rest of us?"

"Probably a lot better off," mumbled Jack.

"Bullshit, Jack! Have you looked at Daniel lately? He's dying to have his friend back, and I don't mean Sam. If we'd lost you in that cave along with her, we'd be grieving for both of you, you short-sighted, selfish son of a bitch! It's bad enough seeing you like this, but even Daniel knows it's just your bullshit way of dealing with things by not dealing with things! If Teal'c hadn't drug your sorry ass out of that rockslide, there'd be twice as much pain to go around here! He did the right thing, and you know it, Jack!"

"You weren't there, Jacob." Jack seemed to be having trouble speaking, and he studiously looked away from the older man in front of him.

"From what I gather, neither were you, Jack. You switched off when you saw what happened to Sam, and God knows I can't blame you, but you and I both know you were in no way capable of making decisions, Jack!"

Jack's head suddenly snapped upwards, and he lanced Jacob with a glare that could've melted the iris. His voice was strained, and to anyone who cared to heed such things, it was a warning that his finely tuned control was about to break.

"Are you questioning my objectivity in the field?"

Jacob actually snorted a laugh, not caring in the least what Jack was going through, then raged back at Jack. "Not that it matters, but no. What I'm questioning is why you won't let go of your anger with Teal'c when you know, you KNOW, that his decision was tactically correct for the situation!"

And that was it. Jack lost it. The last remnant of his control broke loose and his next words were bellowed back at Jacob with a strength of emotion that few would have thought him capable of.

"Tactically correct be DAMNED, Jacob! It was my choice to make! He should've let me stay! He could've run if he wanted, but he had no right to make decisions for me!"

"He had every right, Jack! You were compromised! Your 2IC was dead! He was the only one left to make decisions!"

Jacob's words had come without thought, and he'd meant them only to justify Teal'c's actions to Jack, but as he said them, a strange thing happened. His own control wavered as the word 'dead' left his mouth. His breath hitched a little in his throat, and he blinked quickly a few times to hide the tears that formed in his eyes.

Jack didn't notice. Whatever tiny shard of dignity he'd had before Jacob's last words left him. He took two steps backwards and bumped into his entryway wall, then slowly slid to the floor. He didn't really speak, but as he bit into one knuckle on his right hand, a few garbled words left him.

"God, Jacob. She was… and the blood… and I couldn't… I couldn't…"

As the General looked down on the now broken Colonel in front of him, his throat began to burn as he tried to keep his own tears in. And suddenly he couldn't. He found himself mirroring Jack's actions, and he sent a thought inward.

'Selmak, a little help here?'

_Not this time, Jacob._

XXX

Nothing more was said, and neither man moved for a very, very long time.

When they finally did, it was to the sound of a few sniffles, and it was their eyes only that moved first. One O'Neill chocolate orb peeked out from around folded hands, and it met one Carter counterpart across the hall. The eyes held still for an impossibly long moment as the loss of a daughter met the loss of soulmate, and then they inexplicably and inexorably drew their owners together. Feet shuffled and clothing rustled, and two men met in an awkward embrace in the center of Jack O'Neill's small entryway.

Jack O'Neill and Jacob Carter were both career military men, and neither one of them would've ever predicted their behavior, but their mutual loss was such that neither could prevent it.

Four strong masculine arms held two bodies in a crushing, desperate embrace, and fingers gripped shirt fabric as if life depended on it.

They stayed that way a long time, but finally, slowly, muscles relaxed and breathing slowed.

And eventually, Jack spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Jack."

"I know, but…"

"No, Jack. No buts. It wasn't your fault."

"God, Jacob. I tried. I tried to get her out."

"I know."

As they spoke, the two men extricated themselves slightly from one another. Jack looked away from Jacob as he spoke his next words.

"God, Jacob. It's just. God… you know I…"

A hand came to rest on Jack's forearm. "I know."

Jack sniffed and nodded, and that was the end of things. As abruptly as it had left him, his control returned. He braved a look at Jacob, and he saw that it was the same for him.

Five minutes later, the two officers were standing on Jack's deck, and each held a beer.

Jack took a long swig from his bottle and sighed. "That was a hell of a thing."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah."

And that was that. Both men felt better than they'd felt in ages, but neither could say any more about what had happened between them. It wasn't their way.

Jack, however, had one more surprise in him. As he and Jacob watched the leaves swirling in the autumn night, he spoke softly to the breeze.

"You know, I'm not sure I can let it go, Jacob."

Jacob didn't pretend not to understand. "Teal'c?"

"Yeah."

"I can understand that, but maybe you won't have to."

Jack was confused. "What'd ya mean?"

"Maybe something will come along to make it go away on its own, Jack. You never know."

Jack took another swig on his beer.

"Yeah, you never know," Jack replied half-heartedly.

Neither man believed their words, but both let it go.

After all, they were career military men, and that was just easier for both of them.

Their emotional quota had been met for the decade tonight, and plausible deniability of the non-official type was back in full force.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

When Daniel realized that Jacob was nowhere to be found at the reception, he asked around about him. It didn't take long to figure out where the elder Carter had gone.

Cassie was the first clue in the puzzle. She'd seen Jacob climb into a cab earlier.

And when Daniel spoke to Hammond about his old friend's behavior, the General closed his eyes for a moment and sighed.

"He's gone to see Jack."

Daniel blinked in confusion. "What?"

Hammond sighed again and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We were talking about Jack, and Jacob asked me if I thought Teal'c had done the right thing here. I said I thought he had. And Jacob suddenly got real quiet. Then he said Jack had no right to be angry and took off. That was the last I saw of him. If I was a betting man, I'd wager the farm that he paid Colonel O'Neill an impromptu visit."

"Why?" asked Daniel, even more confused.

Hammond chuckled under his breath. "Because Jacob and Jack are a lot more alike than either of them would like to admit. Anger is easy for both of them. Jacob can't blame anyone for Sam's death, but he can blame Jack for destroying what's left of her team. And I have a feeling that anger at Jack for that is easier for Jacob to deal with than grief over losing his daughter."

It was quiet a moment, and then Daniel spoke quietly.

"I don't think I'd like to be Jack right about now."

"No doubt," agreed Hammond. "Then again, I'm sure Jack won't make things a picnic for Jacob, either."

Daniel chuckled. "True. He's not exactly known for pulling his punches. Still…"

"Still what, son?"

Daniel nearly grinned. "I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall for that conversation."

Hammond smiled woefully back. "I just hope they don't kill each other."

"Yeah. But you never know. Maybe it will do them both some good."

"Maybe," mused the General. "But even if Jacob somehow manages to bring Jack out of this funk he's in, I'm still concerned about Teal'c. Do you have any idea what his plans are?"

Daniel shook his head. "No. God, this is so messed up. Tell you what, though. I'll stop by and check on him now."

"Thank you, Doctor Jackson."

Hammond's habitual formality brought another small smile from Daniel, and he nodded a farewell as he left the General.

XXX

Half an hour later, tie loosened and jacket slung over one shoulder, Daniel knocked on Teal'c's door.

In contrast to Daniel's usual experience with Jack, Teal'c opened the door for Daniel promptly and greeted his visitor politely.

"Daniel Jackson."

"Teal'c."

Both voices were slightly strained, but both men chose to ignore that fact. The two friends stood in silence for a long moment and neither looked at the other. Finally, Teal'c spoke again.

"What brings you to my quarters, Daniel Jackson?"

Daniel shuffled his feet a little. "Well, I just… do you mind if I come in?"

Teal'c inclined his head and opened his door slightly. "You are welcome anytime."

"Thanks."

As Daniel stepped inside Teal'c's quarters, he didn't pay attention to Teal'c's expression. If he had, he might have noticed the tiniest hint of nervousness play across the Jaffa's face as he shut the door behind his friend.

But it was just as well that Daniel hadn't noticed. He wouldn't have understood the tension anyway. At least not until he saw what he was staring at now.

Daniel froze as he entered Teal'c's living space. His eyes widened, and behind him, Teal'c actually sighed.

Neither man moved for what seemed like an eternity, but finally Daniel slowly turned around to face Teal'c. He licked his lips and took a long, deep breath before he spoke.

"What's that doing here?"

"It is always here, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel sneered a little and thought that Teal'c had spent far too much time with Jack through the years. He liked the Jaffa better before he'd learned sarcasm from the master.

"Fine. What's it doing out?"

"I have need of it."

Daniel's eyes narrowed in suspicion while an entirely different feeling gnawed at his insides.

"Why?" asked Daniel, though he was nearly certain he already knew the answer.

"I am returning to Chulak. I own very little that will serve me there, but my armor is indispensable."

Daniel returned his gaze to Teal'c's Jaffa armor, and a shiver ran down his spine. He hated the sight of the stuff, and the thought of it again hanging off of the man he considered his friend disgusted him. It had taken Daniel a long time to truly accept Teal'c as an ally, and the very sight of his armor took Daniel back to a time when although he appeared to function well with Teal'c on SG-1, Daniel's mind had constantly been filled with imaginings of Teal'c abducting Sha're from Abydos.

Daniel often woke from nightmares back then that were brimming with images of Teal'c, and none of them were complimentary.

And while few would have suspected it of him, with his mild-mannered academic demeanor, he'd spent many briefings filled with the violent desire to kill Teal'c with his bare hands. He'd blamed Teal'c for what happened to Sha're.

Only Jack had kept Daniel sane then.

Jack had accepted Teal'c, and convinced the SGC to do the same. And Daniel trusted Jack, after all they'd been through on Abydos, so he trusted Teal'c by proxy.

But the stoic Jaffa had slowly earned Daniel's trust in earnest. He'd proven his loyalty to the Tau'ri and so much more over the years. Daniel considered Teal'c not only a fine teammate and warrior, but also a very valued friend. Even the death of Sha're at Teal'c's hands was understood. Teal'c had not looked Daniel in the eye for many weeks following his forced action regarding Amonet, but Daniel had understood. He'd needed Sha're's help, but he understood in the end that Teal'c had had no other choice in the matter, and over time even that was merely another page in the story in their friendship. If anything, it only served to bind them more tightly together.

Daniel's life was linked to Teal'c's in many ways. Teal'c was family to Daniel. He generally completely forgot that Teal'c wasn't as human as the next guy, so to speak.

But sometimes, the differences between Teal'c and the Tau'ri became shockingly evident, and now was one of them. Teal'c's armor was laid out in precise detail. Every piece was sitting on Teal'c's couch as if an invisible man was laying there. A rag sat to one side, and a can of silver cleaner was open next to it. Three quarters of the armor shone as if in a museum exhibit, while a few pieces were still tarnished. Daniel looked at the armor and a great sadness enveloped him. He took a page from Jack's book and tried to hide his depression with humor.

"And here I thought it was just spring cleaning time."

Teal'c replied in the same even monotone he always employed. "It is autumn, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel sighed. "I know that, Teal'c. It's just an expression."

"Indeed," replied Teal'c. It was the last word said for some time. Daniel wandered over to the armor and ran one finger along the fully extended headpiece. The serpent head almost seemed alive, and Daniel shivered again. After a very long moment, Daniel spoke.

"So… not just cleaning?"

Teal'c shook his head slowly. "While I do find such tasks as polishing and cleaning soothing, and sometimes perform them merely to calm my emotions, that is not the case here. I am indeed planning on returning to Chulak as soon as I can make the necessary arrangements with General Hammond."

Daniel's eyes widened slightly at the idea of Teal'c admitting that sometimes he needed soothing, but he quickly swallowed his surprise.

"Why?"

Teal'c uncharacteristically audibly sighed again, and Daniel turned to face him. "I believe you already know the answer to that question, Daniel Jackson."

Now it was Daniel's turn to sigh. "Jack."

The word came out much harsher than Daniel had intended, and he couldn't stop some irritation from creeping into his voice and his mind.

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed. O'Neill no longer trusts me, and his anger with me is too strong to be fought. I will no longer be welcome on SG-1, if there is even to be an SG-1, and I do not believe that I will be able to find another suitable occupation with the Tau'ri. I must return to my home world to continue my fight against the false gods there."

Daniel attempted to argue, even though he knew in his heart that Teal'c spoke the truth.

"General Hammond still trusts you, Teal'c, and so do I."

Teal'c's lips nearly smiled. "Janet Fraiser has also attempted to show her support at this time, but none of that matters."

"Why not?" questioned Daniel, slightly hurt at Teal'c's dismissal of his feelings.

"Because it is O'Neill who must trust me again."

"He'll get over it, Teal'c."

"I do not believe so."

"Again, why not?" Daniel took a seat on the floor as he questioned Teal'c, and the Jaffa followed his example. The two men ended up sitting cross-legged and facing one another. Teal'c hesitated before answering, but eventually he spoke, very slowly.

"Has O'Neill not told you of Frank Cromwell?"

Daniel tapped his head a few times with his fingers before he responded.

"Cromwell… Cromwell… sounds familiar, but I can't place him… wait! Wasn't he the Colonel who helped out when the black hole was connected to our stargate?"

Teal'c nodded and realized that Daniel's reaction confirmed that he did not know the whole story. "That is correct, Daniel Jackson, but Frank Cromwell was much more than that."

Daniel's eyebrows rose. "Oh?"

"Indeed. Colonel Cromwell once commanded a team of men that included O'Neill. O'Neill was injured in an operation, and Cromwell made a decision to leave him behind in order to save the rest of his team. He believed O'Neill was dead. It was later discovered that O'Neill was in fact alive, but despite the efforts of Colonel Cromwell to mount a rescue mission, one was never authorized. O'Neill spent four months as a prisoner of war."

Daniel's eyes closed. Things were becoming much more clear now. "And he blamed Cromwell."

Teal'c nodded. "For many years. Perhaps still."

"But this is different," countered Daniel. "I mean, Sam _was_ dead… right?"

A tiny edge of doubt crept into the archeologist's voice as he spoke, and for the first time Daniel entertained the notion that perhaps Sam had not been killed in the rockslide, but merely wounded or trapped enough that her recovery was impossible given the situation. And if there was even the tiniest shred of hope that Sam might have made it out of there, then Teal'c was right. Jack would never let this go, and he'd be quite likely to kill Teal'c on sight if given the chance. And given Jack's history of _being_ the one left behind, Daniel really couldn't blame him.

Teal'c didn't miss the note of questioning in Daniel's voice, and it cut him deeper than any scalpel or sword ever could. He knew that there were many in the SGC that doubted his version of events, or at least were very aware of the fact that all they had to go on was his word and no physical evidence, but Daniel Jackson had not been one of them. His support, along with Fraiser's and Hammond's and more recently Jacob Carter's, had kept what little sanity Teal'c still possessed from leaving him in the last few days.

Daniel was Jack's best friend, and if Daniel could accept Teal'c, a small part of the Jaffa held out hope that perhaps Jack might again trust him, as well. Teal'c was well aware of Daniel's feelings toward him when he had first come to Earth, and he understood them. He knew that Jack had helped Daniel accept him, and he was tremendously grateful. And even though Teal'c knew that this situation was very different, a tiny spark of hope that Daniel might reciprocate that action now had still burned in the deepest recesses of Teal'c's soul.

Until now.

The tiny flicker of doubt in Daniel's voice removed any and all hope from Teal'c.

The pain he'd felt since losing Sam intensified, and while he showed no outward signs of it, the part of Teal'c that was 'Teal'c of the Tau'ri' suddenly shattered. A fault line in that aspect of the Jaffa ripped open and caved in on itself.

All that was left was an ex-first prime of Apophis, Shol'va, and failed father.

Teal'c knew he no longer belonged on Earth in any way, but he answered Daniel's question as politely as possible.

"Samantha Carter was indeed dead, Daniel Jackson. We could not save her. There was no hope of her survival. But I fear that O'Neill does not see it that way."

Daniel snorted a little to himself. "You may be right, Teal'c. Still, you don't have to leave."

"You know that I must, Daniel Jackson. Do not make this any more difficult than it must be."

"I'm not trying to make things harder, Teal'c. I just…"

Teal'c cut Daniel off. "I appreciate your intentions, Doctor Jackson, but I cannot remain here. I cannot allow my presence to hinder O'Neill and his recovery from this event. He must move on. He is a valuable officer, and his presence is needed here. He must return to the fight, both for your planet and for himself. If I remain, that will be much more difficult to accomplish."

Daniel listened to Teal'c's words, and a large part of him felt that he couldn't argue with them. They were sound. But despite that, another part of Daniel refused to accept them. Hard, bitter anger began to consume Daniel. He'd heard arguments like this before from Jack, and he was tired of them.

"Are you sure that's all it is, Teal'c?"

"I do not understand your meaning, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel smiled a predatory grin. "Oh, yes, you do. You're playing the moral high ground right now. You're claiming to put Jack's welfare ahead of your own, but that's not all that's going on here. You're running to save yourself, too. You're taking the easy way out.

A ripple of uncomfortable anger crossed Teal'c's face, and if any other man had been speaking to him, he might have lashed out with it, but Teal'c didn't deny Daniel's accusations. Instead, he sighed yet again and his shoulders slumped just a little bit. "It is true that I find it difficult to remain here, but that does not change the fact that it is best for all involved if I leave Earth."

"For all involved?"

"Yes."

"What about the SGC? You're a valuable resource to us, Teal'c! Your knowledge of the Goa'uld has saved us countless times."

Teal'c almost smiled. "There is little left for me to offer you, Daniel Jackson. There are many on this base that rival myself in their knowledge of the Goa'uld, yourself included. I have outlived my usefulness here."

Daniel's frustration grew. What would it take to get Teal'c to see reason? He knew he was fighting a losing battle, but he refused to give up.

"That's not true. There's still so much we don't know. And what about your skills as a leader, a fighter, a pilot?"

Daniel was truly rambling now, and his last words ran together like those of a child at Christmas. Finally, he ran out of steam and fell silent, and Teal'c very calmly answered him as he stood from his sitting position on the floor, symbolizing an end to the conversation.

"You have many fine fighters and pilots, Daniel Jackson. The loss of one can easily be compensated. And my skills as a leader are certainly in question at the moment. I am sorry, but my decision is made."

Daniel deflated. He'd lost, and he knew it. Teal'c was leaving, and with him, any chance of the restoration of SG-1. Daniel heaved a huge sigh and stood to join Teal'c.

"No chance that this will be just a visit to Chulak?"

Teal'c shook his head. "My time on this planet is up, Daniel Jackson. There is no longer any place for me among the Tau'ri."

Daniel stepped to the door, but he did not accept Teal'c's words. As he reached for the door handle to let himself out, he turned back to his friend, needing to say just one thing more.

"There will always be a place for you here, Teal'c."

And with that, Daniel left, with his heart heavy and his soul aching. He couldn't help but marvel at the journey that had brought him full circle with Teal'c. The Jaffa had gone from enemy to cherished friend, and now he would be lost to Daniel forever, like so many others before him.

Life, thought Daniel, was a serious pain in the ass.

Inside his quarters, Teal'c couldn't have agreed more.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

Two days later, Jacob Carter was in San Diego with his son and his family.

General Hammond was busy with the day to day business of the SGC.

Daniel Jackson was translating a tablet found by SG-11.

Cassandra Fraiser was back in school.

Her mother was back in her infirmary.

Jack O'Neill was still on leave, under the ever watchful eyes of his friends, but he surprised many airmen as he made his way to level twenty-eight just before 1400.

As Jack entered the control room, Teal'c stepped into the gateroom in full Jaffa armor. He looked every bit the stately warrior of Apophis he had once been in nearly every aspect. The only things that were different were the haunted look to his eyes that he could not conceal from those who knew him, and the slight defeated slump of his broad shoulders. He also carried one small duffel bag of personal belongings.

Daniel watched his friend as he slowly stepped to the bottom of the ramp that led to the gate and an infinite sadness grew in his soul. He couldn't believe this was happening, and that he was powerless to stop it.

Daniel glanced to the only other occupant of the control room besides Sergeant Harriman, who was assigned gate technician duty, and an icy chill ran down his spine at the cold, indifferent mask on Jack's face.

Jack's eyes could've simultaneously frozen the Pacific Ocean and melted pure titanium. Daniel sighed without meaning to, and those eyes focused on him.

"What?" Jack demanded.

Daniel shrugged. "Thought you were heading to Minnesota. Just wondered why you're here."

Jack nodded to the gate room as Walter prepared to dial the gate and send Teal'c away from Earth for good.

"Just want to be sure that son of a bitch actually leaves."

Daniel sighed again, with more frustration than before. "Jack, you don't mean that."

Jack's eyes found Daniel's again, and their resolve couldn't be doubted for a second. "Oh yes, I do, Daniel."

"After all we've been through…"

"None of that matters now, Daniel."

Daniel tried to come up with the right words to argue Jack's point, but there were none. Jack's mind was made up, and there was no changing it. All of Jack's decades old rage at being left behind by Cromwell, his anger at having to suppress his feelings for Sam for years, his anger at Sam for getting herself killed, his anger at himself for being unable to stop it, and his grief all combined to form a ball of vitriol that Jack hurled at Teal'c, the available easy target, like a hurricane, and there was no stopping its momentum. Daniel rubbed the bridge of his nose as Teal'c and General Hammond, who'd gone down to the gateroom to see Teal'c off, nodded up to the control room for Walter to start dialing the gate.

Harriman let out a sigh of his own and began to follow his order. He started to dial the gate, but as soon as he activated it, his computer screen flashed an alert, and his motion stopped.

Suddenly, Walter's voice rang out in the control room and the gate room.

"Incoming wormhole!"

Teal'c did not move, but Hammond quickly hustled up the stairs to the control room.

"We have no teams due back right now. Who is it?" demanded the General.

Walter shook his head. "No IDC, sir. No… wait… yes… we have a signal… but that can't be right… "

Hammond interrupted. "What can't be right?"

Walter's eyes grew large and he shook his head once, then he looked again at the screen as Jack, Daniel, and Hammond all waited impatiently for him to explain himself.

Finally, the Sergeant looked at his commanding officer with disbelief and said the last words anyone thought they'd hear.

"It's SG-1, sir."

Hammond risked a barely detectable glance at Jack and Daniel before issuing an order.

"Close the iris."

Walter braved the same glance at the members of SG-1 in the room and then followed his command.

Through all of this, Jack O'Neill stared straight ahead. His eyes were riveted to the gate, and he didn't even blink. His carefully practiced self control never wavered, and the only thing that betrayed his internal turmoil was the absolute stillness of his body. Not a single muscle twitched as he stood and stared. He wanted to protest Hammond's actions, but he knew his CO was doing the right thing. The life of every man and woman in the mountain was too big a stake to gamble on the off chance that Samantha Carter could somehow be alive and trying to get home. Jack had seen Carter's body, and while he tried to deny it with every fiber of his being, he knew Sam had died in that God-forsaken cave. Jack knew that anyone, or anything, could have Carter's IDC transmitter now, and closing the iris was the only reasonable course of action. It killed him, but it was the only choice to be made.

Command decisions were a bitch.

As that thought crossed his mind, the ball of molten fire that had been licking at Jack's guts ever since he woke in the infirmary after Sam's death suddenly solidified into a boulder of ice cold steel.

Jack's body didn't move, but his eyes flicked away from the gate and found Teal'c. The Jaffa was still standing in the gateroom, alone. For the first time since the cave, O'Neill actually _looked_ at his old friend and saw the completely beaten look of the man behind the armor, and he knew that Teal'c was hurting twice as much as he was. Jack had lost Sam, who was so much more than a 2IC and friend, but Teal'c had lost not only Sam, but Jack's friendship, as well.

Teal'c seemed to sense O'Neill's eyes upon him, and his head turned slightly upwards. His dark chocolate eyes found Jack's and four brown orbs were suddenly locked in a stare that communicated more than words ever could. The intensity of this gaze was such that Jack didn't even hear Daniel's protests around him.

"General! You can't do that!"

"Son, I know how you feel, but I have to. We can't risk this entire base. We have no idea if Major Carter's IDC is in the hand of the Gould, or worse. That iris will stay closed."

Daniel was sputtering now. "But… you can't… I mean… but… "

General Hammond started to try to explain things and comfort Daniel again when Sergeant Harriman interrupted.

"Sir! Look!"

Jack's eyes finally tore themselves from Teal'c's as both Daniel and General Hammond gasped in astonishment at the gate below them.

Something was coming _through_ the iris. Something that looked vaguely familiar. The iris was glowing white hot in the center, and a humanoid form could dimly be seen in the midst of the bright light.

Jack O'Neill was in the gateroom before anyone took a breath.

Hammond and Daniel both yelled to Jack as he left.

"Jack! Don't! We don't know what's coming through!"

"Colonel, get back in this control room at once!"

O'Neill never heard them. He was next to Teal'c in an instant. The Jaffa leveled his staff weapon at the gate, but Jack seemed to only be intrigued by the bright light on the iris, as if he'd lost all use of his faculties. Hammond immediately called defense teams to the gateroom. He had no idea what was going on down there, and he didn't want to take any chances.

But it would all be over by the time they arrived.

For what came through the gate wasn't unfamiliar. It wasn't a new and horrifying threat to Earth. At least it didn't appear to be. It had the face of a friend.

A friend who'd been lost.

For as the white glow of the now permeable iris faded away, it revealed none other than Samantha Carter, whole and alive.

Jack O'Neill staggered as his eyes found their perfect blue counterparts on the new arrival.

He actually staggered.

If anyone who'd seen his reaction had been capable of thought at the time, they would've wondered at the strength of emotion that was required to cause that action in Jack O'Neill, but no one even noticed. Daniel, Walter, and General Hammond were so amazed by the woman on the ramp that they nearly forgot to breathe, so Jack's weakness didn't even blip their radar.

The only person present who reacted at all was Teal'c, and his actions had no thought involved.

As Jack's feet took a stumbling step backward, away from the blonde bombshell on the ramp, his stagger turned into a weak-kneed collapse that was only partially gravity-induced.

He was on his way to a quite embarrassing fall when suddenly he was upright again.

A strong hand was at his back.

His knees were still weak, and Jack was astounded that his legs would support his weight in the face of the emotions running rampant through his body, but somehow he managed to stand erect and look bravely into the face of the newcomer with the demeanor that befitted his rank.

And still the hand was at his back. It did not clutch or push or pull or guide in any way, but it did not waver, either. It was solid and comforting, and somehow Jack knew that, despite everything, it would not let him fall.

Jack took a deep breath and felt the hand move with him, then spoke.

"Who are you?"

The woman on the ramp looked at O'Neill as if he'd grown a second head.

"Sir, it's me. It's Carter."

"No. That's impossible," said Jack.

The woman sighed. "It's me, sir."

Jack snorted. "Last I checked, the Sam Carter I knew couldn't walk through the iris on a whim."

The newcomer laughed. "True. That was a bit of a favor. But I assure you, sir, I'm me."

Jack shook his head and his next words were a bit of a struggle. "No. It can't be. You were… I saw you… You were dead."

The hand on Jack's back flinched just a little at these words, but it still did not waver. O'Neill noticed.

The woman smiled in an understanding way. "I know. I can't explain it, but… I saw myself in the rocks. I saw you leave. I saw everything. It was like I was outside my body. I _was_dead, sir. I had to be. But then… "

Her next words were cut off as medical and defense teams stormed into the gateroom.

Janet Fraiser took one look at the woman on the ramp and started issuing orders. To her credit, she wasted no time on surprise or her own emotions. She was a consummate professional, and it showed.

"Someone get that person to the infirmary STAT! And escort her with a security detail. Now, people! Let's move!"

------

A/N: This chapter was written long ago. It was one of the first parts of this story conceived, and while there is a very large part of me that would prefer to leave Sam gone, this story is not about Sam, but about the unfaltering support of Teal'c for Jack, despite everything, and this is how I choose to portray that. More soon.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

For the next four hours, the person claiming to be Major Samantha Carter was confined to an isolation room and subjected to a battery of examinations by physicians and nurses in red hazmat suits. Guards stood at the door and kept a very wary eye on the newcomer.

The woman merely sighed and allowed the medical staff to do their tests with an almost bored look on her face. It seemed she had been expecting this, and just wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

First, she had a complete physical, which revealed no abnormalities, while nuclear medicine technicians were called in.

When the techs were ready, full body CT and MRI were performed. It was shown that the woman was in fact human, and that she carried no obvious Goa'uld or other detectable parasitic organisms.

While the stranger calmly laid on the exam table, her blood was drawn for a plethora of tests, plain radiographs were taken, and every inch of her body was poked and prodded in some way.

And through it all, the woman said nothing. She tried once to get Janet to speak to her, but the petite physician had turned away suddenly and had not responded.

No one made eye contact with her, and the blonde was beginning to notice that that was very much on purpose. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around her. She understood the position of her friends, but in truth their lack of welcome and the wary suspicion that met her was starting to hurt.

A lot.

Sam knew in her bones that she was Sam. She knew she had somehow left her body and then had been restored to it, once it was whole again. She couldn't exactly explain what had happened, but she wanted to be allowed to try.

She wanted her friends to talk to her.

She wanted someone, anyone, to look at her.

And most of all, she wanted any one of the three pairs of black boots she could see in the observation room to bring their owners to see her.

The lights were turned up as high as they could go in her cell, and Sam could barely see anything past their reflection in the windows to the observation room. She couldn't see who was up there, but she could make out six feet through the bottom edge of the glass.

Six feet in black boots.

It didn't take an astrophysicist to figure out who stood atop those boots.

Shiny black shoes would sometimes appear briefly and Sam knew that was Hammond.

But the boots never left.

They rarely even moved.

The pair that moved the most was Daniel, Sam knew, fidgeting and worrying.

The pair that only shifted from time to time was Jack, trying to be brave.

And the pair that stood off to one side, the pair that never moved a micrometer, belonged to Teal'c.

Sam knew this in the same way that she knew she was Sam. She just did.

And she longed for any of the trio to visit her.

She craved human company after all she'd been through, and she could think of no one she'd rather see now than her team.

But none of the boots moved.

Sam remained alone.

She finally closed her eyes.

Immediately, the boots faded from her vision, and another all too familiar image took their place.

XXX

Sam no longer fought it when this image took over her senses. She'd already learned that it was a battle she couldn't win. It was easier to let it play out in her mind.

As she pretended to rest, Major Samantha Carter became an outside observer to a scene she knew by heart. Her mind transported her to a time that she couldn't forget no matter how she tried. The first image of this experience never changed, and Sam cringed inwardly as she saw herself lying on the floor of a cave, far away from home.

Her head was snapped backwards and one of her arms was mangled beyond recognition as a limb. Red rocks concealed most of her body from view.

As distressing as this image was, it was only one part of Sam's private waking nightmare, and somehow it was the part that disturbed her the least.

For she wasn't alone.

A man frantically attempted to free her trapped body from the stones with his bare hands. His silver-brown hair was slicked with sweat and blood, and dust covered him like a light layer of snow. His skin was tinted orange by the powdered rock and tears ran down his face, leaving muddy streaks in their path, as obscenities flowed out of his mouth.

Sam watched, unable to act, as Jack raged impotently at her rocky tomb. She could tell that nothing could save her, but Jack was not willing to accept that. He tossed rocks in every direction, trying to somehow loosen death's hold on her.

It wasn't working, and Sam knew it.

She willed Jack to stop. She tried to focus every part of her being into her thoughts. She sent them Jack's way.

'Run!' she begged. 'This is stupid. You have to get out of here. You can't help me. Go!'

But her words went unnoticed.

Jack continued to dig frantically at the unyielding stone, and his escape became less likely with every passing second.

Sam was filled with frustration that she was powerless to act to save him, and she began to rage against her situation just as impotently as Jack fought against his. Her anger clouded her vision and consumed her entire being. Sam was so angry that she thought nothing could raise her ire further.

She was wrong.

For as she watched, with her own tears of frustration pouring down her face, Teal'c joined Jack's crusade. The Jaffa started to shift stone off of Sam's body alongside Jack.

It didn't help.

The situation was still hopeless, and Sam knew it.

She knew she was watching this from outside her body and that there was no explanation for that except that she was dead. Even if she hadn't seen her own body mangled there on the cave floor, she would've known she was gone. Everything felt different somehow, and while it wasn't entirely unpleasant, it was definitely not life as she had ever known it.

Sam was dead.

And her friends were going to die with her.

A small, choked laugh that turned into a sob escaped her chest, and Sam was hit with the irony of the situation. She supposed it was fitting that they all die together, but who would've ever thought that it'd be like this? A simple earthquake? How random and unfair! And for Daniel to escape, when he was usually the one who liked to play dead? Sam would've laughed if she'd been able. What a way for three intrepid explorers to meet their makers!

Sam watched as Jack continued to dig, filled with dread at what was surely coming. She was so entranced by the futility of the moment that at first she didn't notice what Teal'c was doing.

He'd stopped digging.

He was checking her body for a pulse.

Sam snorted-she already knew there wasn't one there.

Teal'c reached the same conclusion, but checked again, and then a third time before accepting what his hands were telling him. He stared at Sam's exposed chest for an eternity, obviously hoping to see some small movement there to justify his continued rescue efforts.

There was none.

And then it happened. As Sam watched, a change was evident in Teal'c's expression. Sam's heart jumped a little in her chest as she realized what the change might mean.

As a large rock crashed into Jack's upper back and sent him reeling to the cave floor, Sam winced. The crunch of breaking bone filled her ears, and she suddenly knew that Jack would soon join her in death if nothing was done to change this course of events.

She stared at Teal'c, knowing what had to be done and wondering if the man she'd always seen as the most noble of warriors would be brave enough to do it.

For this would be more difficult than any task Sam had yet seen Teal'c accomplish, and he would never escape his actions on this day if he again branded himself a 'shol'va' in the eyes of the one man who had never considered him as such.

Blood poured from Jack's nose, staining the orange rock below him crimson, for a full minute before a dark hand landed on the Colonel's shoulder.

Hope sprung to life in Sam's chest, and her angry tears stopped.

"O'NEILL!"

Teal'c's shout rang out in the cave, but it had to be repeated before Jack looked up.

When he finally did, Sam gasped. She mentally pleaded with Jack to hear the wisdom of Teal'c's next words, as he matter-of-factly pointed out the insanity of remaining in the cave.

As much as Sam wouldn't have minded the Colonel's company here (wherever here was), she preferred to have him back on Earth, continuing the fight against the Goa'uld, and living his life as it was meant to be.

But Sam knew Jack's answer the second his eyes met Teal'c's. He wasn't going anywhere.

Sam dropped her head and tried to turn away from the scene, but found that morbid curiosity wouldn't allow that. She continued to stare at her friends, wondering when the next big rockslide would force them to join her.

She almost missed the movement of Teal'c's hand, like Jack did, but since she wasn't in nearly the state the Colonel was, her eyes picked up a smooth motion of Teal'c's arm that left his hand resting on the holster of his zat gun on his right thigh.

After a moment, as the Jaffa's finger slowly unsnapped the loop of fabric that held his zat in place, Sam's eyes grew wide in hopeful disbelief.

She watched as a thousand emotions played across Teal'c's face.

There was grief, anger, frustration, regret, and even trepidation present, but the overwhelming emotion radiating off the Jaffa was pain.

Raw, exposed pain.

The only word Sam could think of to describe her friend was tormented.

Teal'c was clearly being tortured by the choice before him, but his warrior's mask was only transparent for the space of a few seconds.

As his fingers slowly and deliberately curled around his weapon, Teal'c's face grew stony, and determination stiffened his spine and his features. He was no longer a tortured warrior and friend, but an experienced commander who was forced to make the only logical tactical decision available to him. The change was obvious, and Sam was grateful for it, but it was incomplete. Teal'c spoke as his zat cleared its holding place, and while it was apparent that he understood the necessity of his actions, his voice dripped with still-present pain and undeniable regret.

He spoke only four words.

Four words that would simultaneously rend a tear in Sam's soul and fill her with hope.

"I am sorry, O'Neill."

These were the last words Sam heard.

For as the distinctive blue lightning of Teal'c's zat danced across Colonel Jack O'Neill's body, Major Samantha Carter was surrounded by a blinding yellow light and knew no more.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

In the observation room, two inch heels tapped their way to the boots. Shiny black shoes followed closely behind them.

As Janet Fraiser turned to address the three male members of SG-1 and General Hammond, she took a deep breath. She was used to reporting things that seemed like they could be true only in the most bizarre of science-fiction movies, but this report was more difficult to deliver than any that involved androids, clones, duplicates, or alien influences. This one pulled steadily on the physician's heartstrings and wouldn't release its pressure for any reason.

Her best friend had been assumed dead for over a week. Two very reliable witnesses had seen Sam's demise. Sam's own father had accepted her fate. A memorial had been held.

It had been over. Janet had accepted the fact that Sam was gone.

And while she'd known that it would take a long time for the rift in her heart to heal, Janet had begun the long process of recovery. Cassie had even asked if she could make a scrapbook of her memories of Sam, and Janet had taken her to the crafts store to begin the project, hoping it would help her daughter heal.

Janet had been trying to move on, even as her heart broke not only at the loss of her friend but at the effects Sam's death was having on others that she cared about.

Teal'c had been only seconds away from leaving Earth forever.

Jack O'Neill had become an angry, bitter shell of the man he'd once been.

Daniel had been the leaf caught up in the storm around him. He'd been powerless to change the course of events that was slowly and inexorably destroying the life he'd finally built for himself after the loss of Sha're.

And now, suddenly, that was all washed away.

A living, breathing Samantha Carter had walked back into everyone's lives like nothing had happened.

Janet wanted to believe that the woman in the isolation room was really Sam, that her friend was back, but it was just too difficult. She had already accepted Sam's loss, and her mind just couldn't reset on a whim, even when confronted with such overwhelming visual evidence. Janet had seen far too many utterly insane things in her tenure at the SGC to accept anything at face value.

So she'd set out to prove that her charge was NOT the one and only Samantha Carter. She refused to accept the woman's apparent identity until she could be sure that that was the right course of action. She denied any chance of true interaction with the woman out of self-preservation; even looking at the familiar face that she thought she'd never see again was immensely difficult for Janet. She couldn't allow herself to believe Sam was back, even for a moment, if that would be proven false in the next test she ran. Her heart was too fragile to go through losing Sam for a second time in a week. She had to prove to herself beyond any shadow of a doubt that her friend was somehow back in order to allow herself to even consider the possibility that things might be somehow restored to the way they once were. Janet knew that she couldn't afford to be wrong here. Too much relied on her findings for her to guess about anything. So she'd run every test she could think of, and a few that had been suggested by others, and finally she'd reached the only conclusion that made any sense.

Janet swallowed audibly and licked her lips once, then spoke in a voice that betrayed nothing of the emotional roller coaster ride she'd been on for the last few hours. Her eyes found General Hammond's, as they seemed the safest port in the storm, as she reported her findings.

"Well, sir, as far as I can tell, that woman is Samantha Carter."

Fraiser paused then as the four men in the room had four very different reactions to her news.

Hammond merely blinked in confused surprise for several seconds.

Daniel stammered and waved his hands around like he didn't know what to do with himself.

Jack O'Neill stared at the petite doctor with eyes that never blinked or wavered. A short but pronounced huff of breath spewed from his nostrils, and Janet correctly interpreted its noise as the most minuscule of sobs-held in supreme check by an iron fist of self control that seemed to take hold of Jack's lungs for the next few moments. The Colonel didn't even breathe.

Teal'c, who had been standing as far away from the others as possible in the small room; who had barely been noticed while the others stared down at 'Sam' for the past few hours; who had wondered if O'Neill would demand that he leave the room; somehow managed to step even further away from Jack. His feet shifted ever so slightly, and he nearly vanished into the dim corner of the room. He stared at the floor for a moment, then glanced ever so quickly at Jack's back before returning his gaze to the woman in the medical bed below him.

As Janet took another breath and began spewing out the jargon of test results that led her to her conclusion, only Teal'c noticed when Sam's muscles relaxed slightly and her breathing deepened into that of true sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

The images that haunted Sam did not fade as her body drifted into slumber.

At first, it seemed as if they did, for a blackness as impenetrable as any night she could imagine surrounded Sam for the briefest of moments. The yellow glow that had numbed her senses and took away all emotion strobed to nothingness.

But then it returned, and it persisted for far longer than seemed possible.

The nearly blinding light seemed to go on for eternity. It was warm, comfortable, and somehow felt safe. Sam didn't know what it was, but she didn't care. Her mind slowly returned to her as the glow surrounded her and bathed her in what felt like a soft blanket of gentleness.

As her brain became capable of thought again, Sam smiled a small grin. She was filled with a sense of gratitude, for she thought this must be heaven, or awfully close to it. She was glad to be out of the limbo that forced her to watch her own death and the dangerous actions of her friends afterwards, and she was beyond glad that the last scene she had witnessed while in that state was Teal'c doing what had to be done to save Jack.

Sam didn't know for sure if Teal'c had managed to get himself and Jack to safety after subduing the Colonel with his zat, but she knew that his actions had given them a fighting chance, and that was the best she could hope for.

Sam wondered if she'd know if they were dead, and as the light continued to eddy and swirl around her, she reached out with herself and tried to feel them. Sam had never been one for believing in the supernatural and reincarnation and things like that, but extending a part of her being to search for her friends now seemed the most natural thing in the world. She did it with almost no effort at all, and she was rewarded.

As Sam concentrated every aspect of her being on Jack and Teal'c, she found them. It surprised her so much that her eyes flew open in shock and she immediately lost the contact she'd felt, but for one tiny flash of an instant, Sam had seen Teal'c, running frantically across an open field of grass and sand. Jack had been slung over Teal'c's shoulder, his arms dangling freely and slapping at the Jaffa's legs.

It took Sam several heartbeats to realize that she had just seen what was happening to her friends at that moment. As soon as she did, she reached out to them again.

It was easier this time, and Sam found Teal'c with even less effort than she had before.

When she reached out to her teammates this time, Sam found herself standing in the gateroom. She looked deep into Daniel's crystal blue eyes and saw a pain there like she'd hoped never to see in her life. A moment later, she was in a hallway she knew all too well, watching Daniel comfort her best friend as Teal'c seethed with anger nearby.

The soft embrace of Daniel and Janet nearly undid Sam, and her concentration faltered. She lost her grip on the SGC, and found herself solidly surrounded by the light again. This time, however, the light seemed far less comforting, and Sam began to feel disoriented at the fact that she could feel nothing. She seemed to be floating in some sort of void, where nothing could be seen, or heard, or felt. She did not linger there, but immediately tried to connect with her team again.

And connect she did.

A sudden violent rage consumed Sam, and she tried to recoil from the scene in front of her, but the connection was too strong to be denied.

Sam watched in horror as her commanding officer, a man for whom she had nothing but respect, lost every shred of self control he possessed. Jack raged against the people and equipment in the infirmary in a tempest of emotion that made his futile fight against the earth in the cave seem like a minor inconvenience.

As profanities left Jack at a rate of about one per second, the hole that had opened in Sam's soul at the last words she had heard Teal'c utter in the cave swallowed her. The wish that Jack and Teal'c would survive that was born in that moment had been fulfilled, but the pain that had been evident in Teal'c's voice returned to her and Sam knew that, rightly or wrongly, Jack would never accept Teal'c again.

Their friendship was over.

Sam was filled with a sadness that crushed her heart into a tiny ball of remorse.

As she watched Jack O'Neill slowly and finally drift into a drug-induced slumber, Samantha Carter cried a thousand bitter tears to the unanswering void of the universe.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

Sam cried for a long time.

She cried until she had no more tears to cry, and then she cried some more.

The bright yellow light that surrounded her became hard on her eyes, and its constant warmth began to annoy her. She wanted to feel something, anything, other than the abject sorrow that she felt for her friends. They were alive, they were still able to live their lives, and yet they were pissing it all away. Teal'c had retreated into a grief and guilt riddled seclusion, Jack's anger was the only thing that kept him from putting a bullet in his head, and Daniel was being dragged into the depths of despair with them. His loneliness was heart-wrenching, and Sam wanted to throttle both Jack and Teal'c for retreating so far into their own pain that they forgot to look after their younger teammate.

There was no sense of time in this place, and Sam had no idea how long she grieved. She only knew that when her sobs finally ebbed, her eyes had long since run dry and her nose had ceased to drip. Her sides and chest ached with physical pain from the constant muscle spasms of her crying, and she latched on to that discomfort like a falling man scrambles for purchase on a rocky cliff. She smiled maniacally at the sensation. She was glad to be feeling anything.

Her grieving had been punctuated by flashes of images from the world she once knew, and those images had only served to renew her sorrow. She'd seen her father, telling Hammond to give up the search. She'd seen her brother, losing another family member too soon. She'd seen Cassandra in tears on Janet's shoulder… Janet again turning to Daniel for comfort… Teal'c retreating even further into himself, with Janet's hand on his arm… Jack refusing to let go of his rage and taking it out on Daniel and anyone else who dared to get too close to him. She saw snippets of scenes that seemed too incredible to believe… a General and a Colonel wrapped in a tight embrace, sharing misery as only those who know loss can… Daniel staring at Teal'c's armor… Teal'c failing miserably to kelnoreem… Daniel curled into a ball on the floor of his quarters and then later wrapped around the sniffling form of Janet… Hammond sitting at his desk with his head in his hands…

The images melted together and came in any order they pleased. They tormented Sam continually, even when she consciously tried to sever any connection she had with the world of her old teammates. Even when she knew she wasn't watching the lives of her friends, things she'd already seen replayed in Sam's mind like compact discs on 'repeat'. She accepted that most of the things she'd seen were the natural result of the death of a close friend/family member for those she'd left behind. They were grieving, and that was to be expected. But the overwhelming message that Sam took from everything she'd seen was that there was more to it than that. Grief was one thing, and Sam was nearly flattered by the reactions of her friends and family to her loss, but allowing that grief to destroy relationships that mattered not only to them, but to her, was unacceptable to Major Samantha Carter.

Another flash of Jaffa armor skittered through Sam's mind like a salamander over a stone.

It was followed by a flash of blue eyes that understood the armor's significance all too well.

And suddenly Sam was angry.

And not just a little.

She screamed out to the universe; to her prison of glaring yellow light. She howled her rage to the void like a woman possessed as her hands curled into fists at her sides. At first, she said nothing articulate, but the emotion in her voice was undeniable, and after several long seconds, she began to chant methodically to herself.

"I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I can't let this happen. I can't let him leave. I have to get back. I can't let Jack fuck everything up like this. I have to get back. God, look what this is doing to Daniel! I have to get back. I have to get back!"

Tears came again, but they were not purely from sorrow. They mixed with tears of anger and frustration and fear and helplessness and regret. Sam's sobs mingled with her words in incoherent babblings for what seemed like a second eternity of grief. She cried until her tears ran out again.

But this time, when they were depleted, Sam latched on to something other than her pain. Her sides and chest and back still ached from the effort of her sorrow, but underneath that was an ember of pure determination. She couldn't let her friends fall apart.

Not on her watch.

The ember flared into a blazing flame, and Sam screamed again into the void.

"I HAVE TO GET BACK!!!"

XXX

Distance was as relative as time in the place Sam was; but somewhere, not far and not near, her words were heard.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

The boy raised his head slowly.

He blinked once and cocked his head to one side, listening intently to something only he seemed to hear.

After a moment, the boy smiled. His eyes darted quickly over his surroundings, and when he found himself alone, his smile grew and took on a devilishly mischievous glint.

He blinked again, then vanished in a flash of white light.

XXX

He watched her for what could have been minutes or days.

He watched her as she raged against her plight; as she yelled and kicked and punched into nothingness. He wondered if she would ever calm. Sometimes he doubted it very much. The strength of her emotions was such that it nearly overwhelmed him and he nearly left his task on several occasions.

But he did not. He continued to watch her, as much out of curiosity as anything else, and he was finally rewarded.

She finally settled. As water in winter slows and then freezes, she gradually became quiet, and her frantic physical movements slowed to a fragment of their former selves before stopping altogether. Her eyes remained closed, and she looked nearly peaceful at last.

The watcher grinned.

"I have found most tasks are much easier when one is at peace."

The boy's voice shattered the void of yellow, and the woman who had so captured his attention started as if she'd been blasted by an electrical shock.

The boy startled, too. He was not used to such reactions to his presence. His voice was mellow and calm, and normally, even when it was not expected, it did not produce such violence.

He grinned wider. A part of him was enjoying this immensely. It was different from anything he had ever done, and that was invigorating. It felt good.

His smile was gone by the time the woman calmed herself and truly looked at him, however.

When scrutinizing blue eyes narrowed and inspected him closely, they met only a picture perfect model of serenity. The boy was perfectly still, and no emotion clouded his visage.

He allowed the study of himself for what seemed an eternity, but eventually he blinked several times and one corner of his mouth quirked upward.

"Do you not believe what your eyes tell you, Samantha Carter?"

Blue eyes widened as they continued to stare at the boy. An incredulous look overcame the scientific skepticism on Sam's face, and her head moved side to side in the tiniest of negatives as her mouth hung partially open in disbelief.

The boy nodded his head low once, as if in respect of her opinion, then raised it again before speaking. Sam was powerfully reminded of Teal'c, and a pang of despair shot from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

"Why do you doubt what you know to be true?"

Sam actually laughed at the boy's words, and the sound of her laughter shattered the immense yellow nothingness around her like a wineglass hitting an unforgiving ceramic floor.

The boy tilted his head and listened to the sound of it, and his face took on an almost amused expression. He very nearly laughed with Sam, such was his sudden realization of the ridiculousness of his question. He answered it himself before Sam had a chance to speak.

"You do not know if you can trust yourself in this place. It has confused you, worn down your senses, and made you uncertain of what is real. This may help."

The boy reached up with both hands and snapped his fingers on either side of his closely shaved head as another Mona Lisa smile graced his lips.

The yellow fled.

It was no longer bright.

Sam blinked against the change, and she saw nothing until her eyes adjusted to her new surroundings.

When she could see again, Sam found herself taking in the rich reds and purples of a royal court. She sat cross-legged on a soft, thick pillow that rested directly on the mahogany floor beneath her. Her companion was likewise seated, and several other pillows of all sizes surrounded them like flotsam from a shipwreck. Blankets of fine linen and wool mixed haphazardly with the pillows, and it looked as though the entire room was designed as an impromptu resting place.

The lighting was dim, as the only illumination in the room came from long candles set in sconces on the walls. The walls were of rough stone that somehow still seemed warm and inviting, as velvet drapes and tapestries softened their edges and held the heat of the room inside like the finest fur. A door stood in the middle of the wall behind Sam, but she was too overcome with her sudden departure from the void and its infinite yellow glare to notice it.

She stared at the child in front of her as if she'd never seen one in her life.

"I am as I appear, Major Carter. I thought this place might be more suitable for our conversation."

Sam nodded mutely.

The boy merely continued to smile in his serene way. He knew the time had come for him to wait.

It took only slightly longer than he had anticipated, which was not long, for Sam to speak. Her voice was strong, and it surprised her in its normalcy.

"Can you help me?"

The boy nodded.

"But why would you only come now? Why not sooner?"

"If the fish cannot walk upon the land, why would he concern himself with the grasses?"

Sam blinked. "I don't understand."

The boy smiled tolerantly. "This place is as the highest mountain to the smallest fish."

Sam closed her eyes in realization.

"You aren't supposed to be here. So you don't pay attention to what's going on here… wherever here is."

The boy nodded.

Sam's eyes opened in time to see his answer, and she sighed.

"They why are you here? Why did you say you could help me?"

"The snow that melts from the mountain feeds the ocean that provides for the fish."

Sam let a long exhalation out her nose and stared at her companion in disbelief. A flicker of amusement danced across the boy's face, and it was enough to send Sam's last remnant of patience running for the hills. She blew up at the boy across from her.

"SHIFU! What are you saying? Can you help me or not?"

The boy smiled earnestly.

"I am sorry, Major Carter. I forget that our ways are sometimes hard for your kind to understand."

Sam glared at her juvenile friend. She got the distinct impression that he knew exactly what he was doing, and that he could come out and say what he meant in plain English at anytime. She had a feeling he was just having a little bit of fun with her with all his pseudo-intellectual spiritual ramblings, and she'd had enough of that.

"Shifu… can you help me or not?"

"I can," Shifu answered seriously.

"But I thought you couldn't interfere?"

Shifu's response confirmed Sam's theory. He was indeed having fun. He was only a boy, after all, despite all of his knowledge, power, and unique circumstances.

And as any boy would when he knows he can get away with something, Shifu grinned.

This was not the slightly amused yet serious smile of an ascended being.

This was not the demure, considerate response to the grin of another.

This was the mischievous, secretive grin of a nine year old boy.

Shifu caught himself before he actually released the tiny giggle that was building in his throat, and he straightened his posture and his composure before he answered Sam's question.

"I am Harsesis."

Sam blinked, amazed that Shifu would continue to play games with her now.

"Shifu… just say what you mean, PLEASE."

Shifu nearly sighed. "I did. I am Harsesis."

Sam threw her hands up in the air. "I know that! What does that have to do with me?"

"The rules imposed on my kind are strict. We are not allowed to interfere in the affairs of others, as you know. Occasionally, one of my kind violates these rules, like Oma Desala, but their deeds do not go unpunished. There are penalties for such actions."

Shifu paused, and Sam interjected a question.

"Aren't you afraid of those penalties?"

Shifu nodded. "Yes. I am. But I am not as afraid as I could be."

Sam's eyebrows knitted together and she shook her head. "What do you mean?"

Shifu nearly shrugged. "I am Harsesis. The knowledge that I contain is too valuable to the others to cast me back down to earth as a human or otherwise banish me."

Sam chuckled. She finally understood.

"So, you're using your position to get away with something you know is against the rules."

Shifu allowed himself an actual shrug. "I am also young, Major Carter. The young often make mistakes. That is part of youth, is it not?"

Shifu's eyebrows rose slightly and almost waggled as he asked his rhetorical question, and Sam was forcibly reminded of her commanding officer. The pang of anguish over Jack's current fate that pinched Sam's chest was quickly squashed by the irony of this boy. The son of Daniel's wife, yet somehow the embodiment of Jack and Teal'c in the flesh.

Sam laughed. "Shifu, remind me never to argue with you. Are you sure about this?"

"I am, Samantha."

"You'll be ok?"

Shifu nodded. "I will be fine."

"Then how can you help me?" asked Sam breathlessly.

"I can send you back," stated Shifu matter-of-factly.

Sam blinked. "What?"

"Did you not wish to return to your kind?"

"Yes! But… why now? Why are you just now doing this?"

Shifu looked at Sam, no longer looking like the child he was. His patient smile of kind understanding was back in place.

"You said yourself that I do not pay attention to the place where you have been these last days. It is true. That place is for those who have not released their former lives for their new beginnings. I am not to act in that place or influence the actions of those who inhabit it. I find that difficult, so I attempt to ignore its presence. I did not notice you until your voice was too loud to be ignored. This is as much your decision as mine, Samantha Carter."

Sam smiled back at Shifu, at a loss for words. She was going to be resurrected, and it was nothing like what she remembered from Sunday school Bible stories. She could think of nothing to say. Shifu allowed the silence to stretch for several long seconds, and then his dark brown orbs caught Sam's blue eyes in a gaze that could not be broken. Sam stared hard back at the child, who no longer resembled anything of the sort.

Shifu's body remained seated on the large pillow across from Sam, but a strange, almost bluish light began to surround both himself and Sam. Sam gasped in wonder at the beauty of it as the edges of her vision began to blur and the room lost all detail.

Shifu held Sam's gaze and asked for confirmation of Sam's wishes.

"You wish to return to the Tau'ri, Samantha?"

Sam nodded vigorously, as tears of joy streamed down her face.

Shifu bowed his head, then lifted it, without breaking eye contact with Sam.

"Then go. Be restored, and do not look this way again."

The blue-white light surrounding her built in intensity and overcame Sam's vision until she could see nothing except for the boy across from her, and soon even Shifu's form faded from her sight.

The last thing Sam saw in that place was Shifu, arms upraised and with a slight smile on his face, as he still held her gaze.

As the light took him, his eyes slammed shut, and blackness once again blanketed a certain blonde United States Air Force Major.


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

A long blade of grass tickled Carter's nose. It frolicked in the wind of its home planet like a dust mote trapped in a sunbeam on a lazy afternoon.

It was joined by a thousand more of its kind, and together they surrounded the prone woman in their midst. Their movements danced over the exposed skin of her hands and face, gently prodding her to wakefulness.

Their efforts were ignored at first, but eventually the woman heeded the grasses and brushed one hand across her face in an attempt to wipe the irritating plants away.

The grasses yielded to her momentarily, but immediately sprang back to their task when the hand moved away. They continued to poke, prod, and otherwise stimulate their new friend.

And finally, they were rewarded.

Sam came fully awake with the suddenness of a startled animal.

She took in the green grass around her and the blue sky above her in a millisecond, and she smiled tentatively.

Then she sneezed.

And sneezed and sneezed.

Her sneezing fit lasted a full forty-five seconds, and while Sam couldn't be certain of it, she thought she heard an echo of laughter in the wind. It seemed as if the air itself were mocking her plight.

As her sneezes finally quieted, Sam wiped her eyes with one hand and sniffed to herself. She had never been one to suffer from allergies, but suddenly she understood why Daniel complained so much when his flared up. Her eyes were itchy and brimming with tears, and her throat felt scratchy and dry while her nose attempted to drip on her shirt. She sneezed again and realized she felt utterly miserable.

And in that moment of self pity, she realized something else. She felt miserable! She physically felt something! Sam suddenly laughed out loud and looked around with new eyes.

The laughter in the wind died away as Sam's own filled the air, and if one listened hard enough, they would have heard the wind rejoice in the moment that Carter allowed herself to fall back into the grass and began to giggle uncontrollably.

But Sam did not hear the change. She only realized that she felt the blades of grass still tickling her as she lolled among them; that she felt the crisp chill of the air as she inhaled it; and that she was a little cold.

Sam could no longer sit still, and she bolted to her feet. She let out a whoop of delight that might have surprised all but her closest friends and took off at a dead run in a wide victory lap.

Her hands flew out from her sides, and she looked like a little girl of seven playing airplane. Her short blonde hair fluttered and flapped against her ears, and she yelled victoriously to the wind.

Sam ran until she could no longer breathe. She ran until her sides ached and her chest felt like it was on fire. She ran until her legs trembled in exhaustion and then finally buckled under her in protest of her treatment of them.

As she stumbled to the ground, Sam caught herself on her outstretched hands. The earth unmercilessly met them in a bone-jarring impact, but Sam didn't care. She relished every sensation, and the hard fall merely brought another smile to her lips.

As she rested on her hands and knees, with her head loosely hanging from limp neck muscles and her lungs taking huge breaths of air to provide oxygen to her starving muscles, Sam wondered if this was a dream. She wondered if this was yet another step in her journey toward whatever fate awaited those who died on alien worlds, crushed by alien rocks, breathing alien air.

Part of Sam didn't care if it was. She was just glad to be experiencing something other than the annoying monotony of the place of light. But another part of her remembered what had finally jolted her out of her lassitude in that place. Her mind drifted to Teal'c; to Jack; to Janet; and to Daniel. She reached out to them, but found nothing.

Their absence told Sam that somehow she was different than she had been before, and she chose to believe that that meant she was very much alive again in this place, wherever it was.

Sam lifted her head as she made this decision, and her eyes widened in utter disbelief.

She blinked several times to clear her vision, but the image before her did not change.

The object that so fascinated her was far away, but distinctly and undeniably familiar.

A Stargate.

Sam stared at it and drank in its beauty until her eyes burned from fatigue. Her breathing had long since slowed when she finally blinked again and let out a tiny laugh at her good fortune.

Her laugh was swallowed by the air around her as a soft breeze sprang up to cool her sweating temple. Sam cocked her head and listened to the wind, and a puzzled grin alit on her face.

"Shifu?"

Sam whispered aloud to the wind, never expecting an answer.

When one came, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Yes?"

Shifu's voice was calm and even, but Sam's next words were not.

"Ah! Shifu! Don't scare me like that!"

The boy looked at Sam in confusion. "Did you not call out to me?"

Sam nodded. "Yes."

"Why then, are you puzzled at my appearance?"

Sam chuckled. "I didn't expect you to actually answer, Shifu."

"Then why call for me?"

"Shifu… never mind." Sam shook her head in resignation.

It was silent for a few moments between the two as Sam stood and brushed off her dirty pants. When she was relatively free of the grass and dirt that had clung to her after her fall, she looked again to Shifu, who stood nearby staring up at the sky.

"Is it real?" Sam nodded to the Stargate.

Shifu merely nodded.

"Then I'm not imagining all of this?"

Shifu shook his head slowly.

Sam smiled slyly. "And I just happened to come across the gate in my random running?"

Shifu smiled the tiniest grin back at Sam. "Not all who wander are lost, Samantha."

"Oh, like I haven't heard that one before…" Sam teased. Shifu nearly shrugged back at her before responding.

"It's originality notwithstanding, the saying is nonetheless true, Major Carter."

"And I'm supposed to believe you had nothing to do with where I ended up?"

Shifu inclined his head toward Sam, but his expression gave away nothing. "The turtle may believe in flight, but only the bird knows the path to the sky."

Sam laughed and stepped toward the gate. "Ok, ok. I get it. You're not saying. Fine."

Shifu followed in his silent way.

The distance to the gate was longer than Sam had first thought, but she and Shifu made good time. They were nearly to the gate before either of them spoke again. Sam was frankly surprised the boy had journeyed with her, and she was curious as to why.

"Shifu?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you here?"

"Why does the whale swim in the ocean while the elephant walks upon the land?"

Sam smiled. She was already starting to translate Shifu's riddles in her mind with little effort, but she was certain she would never envy Daniel and his language duties again.

"No, I don't mean why do you exist. I mean why are you walking with me to the gate?"

Shifu smiled his mysterious smile. "Will not the stallion drive strange horses away from his herd?"

Sam's eyes widened as she interpreted Shifu's words, and her feet slowed to a halt.

"Oh, God. I can't get home. I can't get through." Sam began to dig through her pockets frantically. Finally, her hectic movements stopped and he held up her GDO victoriously.

"Ha! Got it! They'll let me in, Shifu! I didn't lose my GDO. I can still get home!"

Shifu waited until Sam quieted before speaking. "Cannot the parrot mimic the human?"

Sam's babbling completely stopped, and she stared at Shifu for a full minute before she answered him. Her shoulders slumped and her expression became despondent. "You're right. My GDO will have been locked out. I'd do the same thing. They have to assume it's fallen into enemy hands."

Shifu nodded. "Indeed."

Sam was again reminded of Teal'c as she looked at the boy in front of her and she sighed.

"Shifu…"

"There is no need to ask, Major Carter."

"But you've already done so much."

"Compared to my previous actions, this is as a raindrop in the ocean, Samantha."

Sam chuckled. She could think of only one word to say.

"Thanks."

Shifu nodded again and resumed walking to the Stargate. Sam followed his lead.

After a few steps, she turned again to the boy but did not stop walking.

"Shifu?"

"Yes, Major Carter?" The boy sounded nearly annoyed, and Sam felt it served him right for the teasing he had dolled out to her earlier.

"One thing just doesn't make sense to me."

"And what is that?"

"Why all this? Why not just return me to Earth?"

Shifu did not respond immediately, and Sam slowed her pace to match the boy's.

"Shifu?"

The child, wise beyond his years and (on this visit anyway) appearing so, finally looked like a child again. He looked up at Sam with a mixture of apology and embarrassment on his face.

"What is it?" prompted Sam.

The boy did his little half shrug again. "It did not occur to me to send you anywhere other than the last place you were. I did not think to send you to the Tau'ri directly."

Sam nearly laughed at the boy's confession and the fact that he was obviously upset at his oversight. "Shifu, I'm not complaining. It's not like you aren't new to this whole thing. Like you said, the young sometimes make mistakes. It's a very minor problem to send people to another planet. I think a little hike and one trip through the Stargate is a small price to pay for being brought back from the dead. Heck, you even returned me fully clothed. Can't complain about that."

Shifu grinned at Sam's last comment, and he finally nodded in what seemed to be self approval.

When he spoke again, he and Sam had reached the Stargate.

"I merely returned you exactly as you were before. No more, no less."

Sam started to reply, but Shifu shook his head. "The time for words is past, Samantha. Let us act."

The gate began to dial.

Shifu smiled.

Sam nodded her thanks to the boy and stepped to the gate as the event horizon vortex swirled back into the circle of stone. Her stomach filled with butterflies and her hands began to shake from an overdose of adrenaline that flooded her system. She was going home, and she could only pray that she wouldn't be too late to repair the damage her friends had wreaked upon one another in her absence.

As she neared the open wormhole, Sam looked back over her shoulder and saw Shifu standing near the DHD, alone and seeming very small indeed.

Sam smiled a sad smile at him and lifted one hand in the briefest of good-byes. The boy returned the gesture and then nodded slowly at Sam.

"You may go now, Samantha. Be well."

Sam nodded back and disappeared. Her whispered words were swallowed by the wormhole, but Shifu did not need ears to hear them.

"You, too."

As the wormhole disengaged, Shifu smiled and looked again to the sky.

"Thank you for keeping me company, if only for a little while, Samantha."

His words floated on the evening breeze for a moment, and then all was utterly silent.

Then he was gone, leaving no trace.

The grasses continued to sway in the wind.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

The adrenaline and excitement that Sam felt as she stepped through the event horizon did not subside as she found herself on the opposite side of the wormhole.

She stood in the gateroom she knew so well within seconds. The iris glowed white hot behind her, and the men in front of her were truly a sight for sore eyes.

For a long half second, Sam considered running to Jack and Teal'c and embracing them both in a crushing bear hug. Her joy at seeing them again, and more importantly at them seeing her, was such that it nearly overwhelmed her.

But something more than professional decorum stopped her in her tracks and glued her feet to the ramp. As her heart hammered in her ears and her breathing came in rapid, shallow inhalations, Sam Carter's eyes caught those of Jack O'Neill.

Something in the brown orbs across from hers spoke of danger. The eyes were wary, as if they dared not believe what they saw, but underneath the fearful unease of skepticism was a mixture of pain, anger, and emptiness that was truly terrifying to behold. There was no joy or hope in those eyes, and Sam blinked a few times in confusion. The adrenaline still coursing through her system nearly made Sam giggle as Jack's harsh voice reached her ears.

"Who are you?"

Sam glanced quickly around the room. Her experienced eyes took in Daniel and Hammond in the control room, then focused Teal'c's staff weapon, which was trained on her despite the fact that one of the Jaffa's arms was firmly supporting a good deal of O'Neill's weight.

Sam stared at the weapon, which Teal'c expertly maneuvered so that he kept her in its line of fire while somehow avoiding Jack, for a moment before she answered. The urge to laugh fled. She realized now that no one would believe her presence until it had been proven many times over, and she resigned herself to the innumerable medical tests that were likely coming her way soon.

She answered on autopilot. "Sir, it's me. It's Carter."

Jack's constant companion, sarcasm, answered. "Last I checked, the Sam Carter I knew couldn't walk through the iris on a whim."

Jack's use of the past tense wasn't lost on Sam, but she didn't fight the nervous giggle that rose in her throat this time. She thought of Shifu and his actions, and she couldn't help but smile

"True. That was a bit of a favor. But I assure you, sir, I'm me."

A tiny glimmer of hope sprung to life in Jack's eyes, and while Sam was sure that he said something else, and that she answered him, she would not remember what was spoken later. She would only remember that Teal'c's staff weapon wavered slightly in its aim as its owner visibly flinched the tiniest amount and that hope, born anew, peeked out from the thickest fog of despair in Jack's eyes. Sam would cling to that hope as her best friends ignored her for the next several hours. She would cling to her memory of Teal'c's strength as she was subjected to a barrage of medical and psychological tests. She would cling to her vision of her friends until she fell into the fitful sleep of memory, where she would live her adventure all over again.

XXX

When Sam woke, the lights in her room had been dimmed to a comfortable level for sleeping. The harsh reflections from the glass of the observation room were gone, and she could easily see into the room above her. No longer did she have to rely on blurry images of booted feet to guess at the occupants of the room.

She could see that it was empty without effort.

Sam's heart ached with loneliness as her eyes adjusted to the new illumination in her room and she slowly came to full consciousness. She glanced around the room without moving her head and found she was alone. That stung, and an instant sheen of tears covered Sam's eyes. She sniffed a little to hold back the emotions filling her, then stretched her stiff muscles. A small groan escaped her as she shifted her weight in her bed, and it brought a surprise.

Sam's guttural sound was answered with a similar noise from across the room. This one was nearly a word, however, and Sam's now awake brain translated it easily.

"Hh... huh?"

A dull thud resounded through the room next, and Sam smiled.

Her grin started out small but quickly grew to a one that could power a nuclear reactor.

Only one person woke that way, and Sam knew in a heartbeat who shared her room.

"Daniel?"

The archeologist sniffed and rubbed one hand over his eyes. He sat in a chair in the far corner of Sam's room, nearly obscured by the shadows there. As he moved, however, Sam found him easily. An open book lay on the floor beside his chair, where it had fallen when the man had jerked awake. Daniel's hair was disheveled, and he was in need of a shave, but as he found his glasses hanging on his shirt collar and put them on, his eyes focused on the woman across the room from him, and he smiled tentatively. Sam thought nothing in the world could look more gorgeous.

"Sam?"

Sam let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Since she'd returned to Earth, her friends had been distant toward her, and to see one of them here now, waiting for her to wake, was almost too good to be believed. Sam had wondered briefly if she'd imagined Daniel's presence, but his voice made him real, and relief filled Sam like wine in a glass. A warmth started at her toes and rose to the top of her head.

"Daniel? Are you there?"

Daniel stepped into the dim light around Sam's bed and nodded slightly, but his answer wasn't needed. Sam met Daniel's eyes as the light made them visible to her, and as four blue irises joined, Sam somehow knew that she was truly home.

Daniel believed in her.

It was obvious in his eyes.

Sam held Daniel's eyes for a long, long time before she spoke again as Daniel pulled a chair close to her bed and sat next to her.

"Oh, Daniel. Thank you."

Tears slipped from Sam's eyes as she uttered her words, and Daniel's next actions were without thought.

Two desperate hands found each other, and fingers entwined in a grip that might have withstood the forces of a hurricane.

Daniel spoke quietly as he held Sam's hand, unsure of what he could do to comfort his friend.

"Sh, Sam. It's ok. It's ok."

Sam's tears fell harder then. She had come back to comfort her friends, and here she was the one in need of comfort. Daniel's gentle voice and quiet demeanor felt like more than Sam deserved. She hadn't been the one to endure her death. It had come too quickly for pain. She hadn't been the one forced to leave a team member behind. She hadn't been the one driven into making a choice between keeping a friend alive and keeping that friend as a friend.

Jack deserved this.

Teal'c deserved this.

Not her.

But of course neither man would accept it, and Sam craved it like an addict without a fix, so she soaked it up.

Daniel softly stroked Sam's arm and whispered to her. His words were unimportant and largely unintelligible, but he took as much comfort from them as Sam. He needed this, too.

Finally, Sam quieted, and Daniel's words died away. Daniel studied the floor in front of his chair, and Sam contemplated the ceiling above her bed.

When all was still for several long moments, Daniel whispered a single word to the otherwise empty room.

"How?"

Sam chortled.

Daniel looked up at Sam in surprise, and his eyes met hers again. Sam's face softened, and Daniel's brow furrowed in response.

"What?" he asked.

Sam shook her head. "Nothing. It's just... you'd be proud of him, Daniel."

"Who?"

"Shifu."

Daniel's eyes widened in astonishment. "Shifu?"

Sam nodded, and began to tell her tale.

It was many hours later when Daniel let go of Sam's hand and stood. He left the room moments afterward, having been blown away by Sam's journey to what seemed like Hell and back, but somehow believing every word of it.

He'd laughed and cried with Sam as her story was told, and now it fell to him to tell it again.


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

Janet was quick to fill the void left by Daniel's absence.

She chatted with Sam only a little, however, and she still seemed somewhat put off by her friend's presence. Mostly, her visit was professional. She checked the few monitors still hooked up to Sam, collected a few more samples, and quietly excused herself, saying truthfully that she had to attend a briefing.

And what a briefing it was.

Daniel told Sam's tale as best he could, sparing no detail and leaving General Hammond, Doctor Fraiser, Colonel O'Neill, and the still present Teal'c in a stunned silence for several moments.

Hammond broke the stony quiet first.

"And you believe her?"

Daniel nodded vigorously. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Janet agreed quietly. "I can't refute it."

The General seemed to consider this information for a moment and then shrugged. "Then I suppose we have to accept it. Is there any reason to continue to confine her to the infirmary, Doctor?"

Fraiser shook her head. "None that I can tell, sir. She appears to be in perfect health."

Hammond nodded and was about to give the order to release this new Major Carter when a stony voice cut into the conversation.

"But how do we really know? How can we be sure?"

Everyone stared at the speaker for a long moment, but finally Daniel answered.

"I suppose when you get right down to it, we can't absolutely prove anything, Jack."

Jack's eyes found Daniel's then, and held them for an infinity. Suddenly, the room seemed to narrow for both men, and they might have been completely alone for all either of them noticed anyone else. It was a very long moment before Jack spoke again.

"Then I guess we don't _really_ know, do we? This Shifu tale might be some cock and bull story to make us accept her. We've seen things like this before. We could all be having some sort of hallucination or dream or be hooked up to some sort of simulation machine… or something…"

Jack waved one hand in the air in frustration as he spoke. Hammond, Teal'c, and Janet wisely kept silent, as they considered that Jack might have a point, but Daniel nearly growled back at his friend. Daniel was angry, and he wasn't about to back down.

"Come on, Jack! Why can't you just accept this? Does this feel like any of those other times? I won't argue that this is hard to swallow, but think about it! Shifu is perfectly capable of this! Remember the dust storm in the desert?"

"A tornado and a resurrection are two entirely different things, Daniel."

Daniel sighed in frustration. "I know that, Jack. But what else is there to do? The way I see it, we have Sam back, and I'm not going to reject her. I really don't care how this happened. I'm just glad that it did. I would think you would understand that."

Daniel's last words were quieter than his others, but no one in the room missed them. Janet raised her eyebrows in response to Daniel's insinuation, but no one else seemed to respond at all.

Jack did not answer. He merely bowed his head and studied the wood grain of the table in front of him as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. The truth was that he didn't entirely trust himself to speak, and the things that were percolating through his brain were things that he really couldn't say in present company. So he stayed quiet, both to control the raging emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him and to prevent an all out argument with Daniel in front of his commanding officer.

That type of behavior was discouraged in Colonels, and while Jack was hardly the model officer in many ways, he knew when to shut up.

After a long moment, when it became clear that no one else was going to say anything, Hammond cleared his throat and spoke slowly.

"I've already contacted Jacob about this, and he will be returning to the SGC tomorrow. In the meantime, I propose we allow our guest out of isolation, since she's shown no signs of communicable illness and seems to be no threat to us. I want her confined to base, however, and I want a guard with her at all times."

Fraiser nodded and began to stand to carry out the General's orders, but Daniel spoke again.

"Is that really necessary, sir?"

Hammond nodded definitively. "Yes, Doctor Jackson, it is."

"I'll stay with her, sir," protested Daniel. "You don't have to put a guard on her."

Hammond smirked slightly. "Son, you can keep her company as much as you'd like, but I'm still posting a guard to her. We still don't know exactly what's going on here, and while I'm inclined to believe her story, Colonel O'Neill has a point. We need to be careful here. We have no idea what might be going on."

Daniel nodded in reluctant acceptance. "Alright, fine."

Hammond looked around the room then at his personnel.

"Any more questions?"

Four heads shook negatives, and Hammond nodded.

"Alright then, see to it, Doctor Fraiser. We'll meet again at fourteen hundred tomorrow. Until then, you are all on stand down."

Chairs pushed back from the table, and Jack O'Neill was gone before anyone else could move. Janet Fraiser left next, hurrying off to the isolation room. Daniel followed her out of the room shortly, and Hammond sighed as he gathered his papers for another long night in his office. It was only then that he noticed the only Jaffa in his employ was still sitting in his chair, which was nearly at the opposite end of the table.

Teal'c had attended the briefing for many reasons, but he had very obviously chosen a seat a few away from the others, and he had been silent the entire time. To be honest, Hammond had nearly forgotten the Jaffa was present, despite his importance in the current affairs of SG-1.

As the General stood, he addressed Teal'c, who showed no indication of moving.

"Teal'c, are you ok?"

The Jaffa's bald head turned to Hammond and nodded once.

"I am merely contemplating these events, General Hammond."

Hammond chuckled. "I can see why they might require some thought, that's for sure. What do you think about all this?"

Teal'c pursed his lips for a moment before speaking, as if collecting his thoughts.

"I believe that the being known as Shifu is completely capable of allowing Major Carter to return to us. I also see no reason to doubt her intentions at this point. It is prudent to continue to observe her closely, but I perceive no threat here. It is possible that O'Neill is correct, and that we are all involved in some sort of alternate reality or hallucination, but Daniel Jackson is right is pointing out that there has been no indication of that."

"So you're in favor of accepting this woman as Samantha Carter?"

Teal'c paused for another second, then nodded and answered simply. "Yes."

Hammond smiled. "Good enough for me, Teal'c. Good enough for me."

Teal'c stood suddenly as the General spoke and bluntly excused himself.

"Thank you, General Hammond. I am pleased that you value my opinion. But if you will excuse me, there are things I must attend to."

Hammond nodded in slight confusion at Teal'c's abruptness, and waved a hasty farewell at the Jaffa's retreating back.

In seconds, the General was alone in the briefing room.

He glanced down at the stargate and chuckled to himself. He had to laugh to keep himself from losing his mind completely. He hadn't signed up for this, and if the truth were told, he had no idea how to handle this situation.

Personally, he had seen enough truly bizarre things since joining the SGC that he was inclined to believe that Samantha Carter was back from the dead, and he agreed with Doctor Jackson in that he frankly didn't care how it happened, but he had no idea where to go from here.

Having Major Carter back was one thing.

Repairing the damage her death had done was quite another, and he knew it.


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

Daniel caught up with Janet easily. His legs were much longer, after all.

As he neared the petite physician, he called out to her. "Janet! Wait! Can I walk with you?"

Janet nodded and the pair easily fell into step together.

They walked in silence for most of the way to Sam's room, but as they neared it, their steps unconsciously slowed a bit, and finally Daniel spoke.

"It's weird, isn't it?"

Janet snorted. "That's an understatement if I ever heard one."

"True," agreed Daniel. "But I don't think I know enough adjectives to describe this mess."

Janet's snort turned into a little laugh. "And that's saying something."

Daniel chuckled back, and his eyes danced almost merrily. "Yeah, I guess it is. Still…"

"Yeah…" agreed Janet. Daniel didn't even have to finish his thought. Fraiser knew that he was as overwhelmed as everyone else about this. No one seemed quite sure how to act, especially around Sam. Daniel, as was his way, was far and away the best at being as natural as possible, but this was hard for everyone, and no one knew what would happen next with Sam… or with SG-1.

As the doctor and the archeologist reached the door to Sam's room, they paused. Janet took a deep breath and let it out slowly as her eyes closed. It was still very difficult for her to face Sam, and she needed a minute to collect herself before entering the room. As the last of her sigh left her chest, a masculine hand slipped comfortably into hers. It startled her a little, and she looked up to see Daniel's blue eyes steadily boring into her own. He was smiling, mostly in support but a little nervously, and he squeezed Janet's hand tightly for the briefest moment before letting it go and speaking softly.

"It'll be fine. It'll all work out. Let's do this."

Janet swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded. Daniel's support had come to mean more to her than she knew, and she was grateful for it now. She took one more deep breath and stepped into Sam's room.

Daniel followed on her heels.

Sam was sitting up in bed when they entered, and she greeted them with an expectant look.

"Well?" she asked with a near smile.

Daniel and Janet smiled back. It was easy to forget that this Sam would know exactly where they had been and what had transpired at their meeting, but the question and the expression were so _Sam_ that they couldn't help but be comforted. A little of their unease melted away.

Janet did the talking and quickly updated Sam on the briefing.

When she was done, Sam hopped off her bed and stretched her arms.

"Great! When can I get rid of all this, then?"

She gestured to the IV in her arm and her medical gown.

Janet grinned as another bit of strain slipped from her. This woman _was_ Sam, right down to the impatient patient gestures. Janet privately thought that Sam often gave Colonel O'Neill a close run for his money in the 'grumpiest patient' races the two seemed to enjoy forcing upon her staff.

"Right now," answered Janet. "Daniel, if you'll excuse us, please?"

Daniel stammered a bit, then nodded. "Oh, uh, right. Ok. Do you need anything?"

Janet and Sam smiled back at him.

"I think we can handle it, Daniel," answered Sam.

Daniel quickly nodded again and left the room, dragging the two male guards out the door with him.

XXX

It took only five minutes for Sam and Janet to emerge from the isolation room. Sam was dressed in light blue infirmary scrubs and seemed to be taking everything in stride. She nodded to her guards and grinned.

"Hi, guys."

The guards nodded and politely waved back but said nothing. Sam continued to grin like an idiot until Daniel finally questioned her as to why.

"What are you so happy about?"

Sam laughed out loud. "Oh, I don't know, Daniel. Let's see… oh, wait, I know! I not dead!"

Daniel laughed back. "Ok, so stupid question. Seriously, though, aren't you at least a little irritated by them?" He jerked a thumb toward the guards as he spoke.

Sam shook her head. "Nah. I'd do the same thing. You have to admit this is seriously screwed up. I mean, if I was in General Hammond's position, I don't even know if I'd be letting me out of iso yet. Which is another thing that makes me happy, for the record. I was getting a little cabin fever in there."

Sam, Janet, and Daniel found themselves in front of Sam's quarters on base soon enough, and they paused at the door. A somewhat uncomfortable silence had fallen over them while they walked, and when they arrived, no one was quite sure what to do.

Sam spoke first, after a minute of shuffling feet.

"So, um, do you guys want to come in for a bit?"

Daniel looked to Janet, and their eyes met uncertainly. Sam didn't miss this, and she just kept talking.

"I mean, you don't have to. You must be really tired. I'd totally understand if you wanted to just hit the sack. In fact, I think I might turn in early, too. Why don't we call it a night?"

Janet and Daniel nodded their assent, even though they knew that Sam was lying about her own fatigue. It was just easier to go along with Sam's suggestion than to argue it, and truthfully, they were both exhausted after what had been an extremely long day. They were grateful for the chance to rest.

Sam nodded back to them and hugged them both tightly in turn.

"Thanks, guys. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, Sam," mumbled Daniel.

"It's good to have you back," murmured Janet.

Sam smiled at them both and stepped into her quarters.

As the door clicked shut behind her, she sighed. She wasn't tired in the least, and she'd had quite enough of being alone recently, but she couldn't stand the unease she felt around her friends, and it was obvious to her that they were about to fall asleep on their feet from fatigue.

It was easier to let them go, even if she craved their company.

She'd take the hit to let them rest.

Sam smiled, glad she could do something for them again.

Little did she know as she changed into her own clothes and began to catch up on such mundane things as news and websites that while Janet Fraiser would sleep the sleep of the utterly exhausted that night, Daniel Jackson's evening was far from over.

And neither was hers.  



	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

As Daniel left Sam's quarters, he walked in silence with Janet for several long minutes. Neither the archeologist nor the physician seemed to have anything left to say, and they found themselves outside Janet's quarters on base before they realized it.

Daniel mumbled a little as Janet rummaged in her pockets for her keycard.

"So, you're staying here tonight, then?"

Janet nodded. "Yes. It's too late to bother to go home, and Cassie is staying with a friend tonight."

"That's convenient."

Janet shrugged. "Yeah, well… one of Cassie's friends is also being raised by a single mom. We help each other out a lot. I gave her a call earlier, and she agreed to keep Cassie tonight."

Daniel sighed in appreciation. It was easy to forget how hard Janet had it sometimes. Daniel couldn't imagine how hard it was to be a single mom, let alone one who worked in a place like this. Yet Janet was always there whenever anyone needed her, and Daniel couldn't help but be awed by her. He smiled, and Janet gave him a questioning look in return.

"What?"

Daniel shook his head. "Nothing. I'll let you get to sleep."

"You sure?"

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. Night, Janet."

"Good night, Daniel."

The two friends embraced for a long moment, then Janet stepped into her room. Daniel stood silently in the hallway for a several long seconds before he turned on his heel and headed to his own quarters with a slightly wistful shake of his head. While Janet Fraiser did amaze him, now was not the time to dwell on those thoughts, and Daniel's mind turned elsewhere.

As he walked, Daniel was mostly on autopilot. He knew the way to his quarters so well that he didn't need his brain to tell him where to go, but his brain was nonetheless busy.

It whirred with the implications of the past few days, and no matter which way he turned the information he had, he came to the same conclusion. He'd meant what he'd said to Jack. He really didn't care _how _Sam had returned. He was just happy that she had. He knew there were still questions to be asked, but he honestly felt like many of them would never have answers. Not answers that could be proven, anyway. Sometimes, one had to accept things on simple faith, and in this case, Daniel was willing to do just that.

Suddenly, something that did not belong intruded into Daniel's peripheral vision and stopped his mental wanderings. His steps slowed. He wasn't sure what had caught his eye at first, so he turned slowly in place, and there it was again.

A door stood slightly ajar near the end of an intersecting hallway, and light from the other side of the door spilled out into the corridor like a reflective stripe on a highway at midnight.

Daniel paused, knowing full well where he was and which door he'd noticed.

The door was Jack's.

Daniel stood stock-still in the hall and stared hard at the slightly open door.

He wondered if he should try to talk to Jack or let sleeping dogs lie. The former impulse beat out the latter, and Daniel began a slow journey towards the sliver of light in the hall. When he was halfway to the door, a loud crash emanated from Jack's quarters. It was followed by an even louder curse, and Daniel's feet faltered for half a second, then sped up. He reached Jack's door in another few steps and then stopped just short of throwing the door open. Instead, he knocked gently on the doorframe and cautiously called out to his friend.

"Jack?"

All sound from inside ceased. The small sounds of living that one usually filters out were noticeable only in their absence. There was no shuffling of paper, no rustling of fabric, or any other noise. Daniel waited for a response for what seemed an eternity, but finally he slowly reached one hand out and pushed the door open to reveal a deer-in-headlights Jack O'Neill standing in the middle of the room.

The door swung freely on its hinges but the slight creak it produced as it did so was enough to break the spell of silence that hung over both men. Jack spoke first, and his voice was tinged with annoyance and anger.

"Daniel."

"Jack."

"What're you doing here?"

"Just came by to see if you were ok."

"I'm fine."

"Really." Daniel's word was a statement, but it carried a note of sarcasm that made it not quite a question, but a proclamation of disbelief. Jack's only response was a scowl, and that reaction was just what Daniel had counted on-it confirmed his thoughts as to his friend's mental state and emboldened him.

"Right. You're fine." Daniel was on a roll now, and the sarcasm in his voice was nearly palpable. "I mean, obviously you're fine. Because you always leave your door open in the middle of the night. And I suppose that model plane just flew across the room and crashed itself into the wall there, hm?"

Jack looked at the pieces of grey plastic that lay scattered all over one section of his floor and shrugged.

"Actually, that was an accident, if you must know, Daniel."

Daniel didn't verbalize a response, but his expression told Jack just how much he believed that.

"No, really, it was," protested Jack. "I was going to hang that model from the ceiling, and I dropped it."

"Oh, just doing a little redecorating? At this time of night, huh? That makes perfect sense. Yep. Come on, Jack, do you really expect me to believe that?"

Jack snorted a small laugh. "Well, probably not. But it was worth a shot, right?"

Daniel chuckled back. "Well, I would've been disappointed if you hadn't at least made an effort."

"Yeah," said Jack, with a half-hearted smile.

Silence fell for a moment, and both Daniel and Jack found the floor under their feet extremely interesting.

"So," Jack finally mustered.

"So what?" answered Daniel.

"So you gonna stand in the doorway all night or are you coming in?"

"Wasn't sure I was welcome, Jack."

"Come on in, Daniel, and shut the door, will ya? Don't want any other unannounced visitors, do we?"

Daniel laughed a bit and did as he was told.

As Daniel sat gingerly on Jack's couch, the older man quickly swept the broken model plane into a dustpan and then dumped the wreckage into the trash.

"There," Jack pronounced. "No evidence."

Daniel smirked, but did not respond, as Jack levered himself onto the opposite end of the sofa.

Jack's lounging was short-lived, however. No sooner had he sat down than he stood again, this time headed toward the small kitchenette in his quarters.

"You want something to drink?" Jack asked as he rummaged around in the mini-fridge.

"No thanks, I'm fine," answered Daniel.

Jack retrieved a Guinness and resumed his seat on the couch.

After flipping his bottle cap across the room, Jack was silent for several moments. Daniel nervously fidgeted a little, but also said nothing. Finally, Jack spoke.

"So, where's 'Carter'?"

Jack made air quotes around the Sam's surname, and his voice nearly sneered.

Daniel sighed before answering. "In her quarters."

"I thought you were going to stay with her."

Daniel's eyes narrowed slightly at these words. Jack's sneer was gone, and in its place was something that Daniel couldn't quite identify. There was surprise, but also something else, almost like worry. Daniel wasn't quite sure if he was imagining the emotion, though, so he ignored it.

"She said she was tired and wanted to get some sleep."

"And you believed her?"

"Not really."

"But it was easier than arguing, huh?"

"Well, you know Sam."

"No doubt. Arguing with her is like playing goal against Gretzky. You don't stand a chance."

Daniel pretended to understand Jack's metaphor and reveled in the fact that Jack was talking about Sam in the present tense. It was refreshing to see Jack nearly smile at the thought of bantering with his 2IC.

"Yeah," agreed Daniel.

Silence fell again for a moment, and then Jack chuckled to himself.

"What?" asked Daniel.

Jack looked up in surprise, almost as if he had forgotten Daniel was there.

"Nothing. It's just… God, she was funny."

And there is was. The past tense again. Daniel felt a tiny flame of anger begin to build in his guts, but he quickly tried to stamp it out. Even though Jack was obviously still not accepting this 'new' Sam as 'the' Sam, he was actually talking, and that was such a rarity that Daniel decided to run with it, no matter where it led. Daniel didn't succeed entirely in quashing his ire, though, and some of it came out in his next words.

"Still is."

Jack took a deep breath at Daniel's words and didn't let it out. He suddenly found a spot on the far wall extremely interesting, and after a hard swallow, the air came out of his lungs in a rough burst that was followed by a few bitter chuckles.

"You really think that's her, Daniel?"

Daniel shrugged. "Well, I've got no reason to think otherwise right now."

"True, but we've got no proof, either."

"Jack, sometimes you have to just accept things on faith."

"Yeah, well, in case you hadn't noticed, I've never been real good at that, Daniel."

Jack's voice rose a little as he spoke, and Daniel's rose in return.

"Yeah, no shit, Jack. But maybe you ought to give it a shot sometime. You might be surprised at what you find."

Jack stood and began to pace the room. "Oh, please, Daniel. Don't go giving me any of your namby-pamby philosophy BS right now. I'm not in the mood."

"What are you talking about, Jack?"

"Oh, you know. YOU! You're 'the universe is basically good and people will do the right thing if we just give them a chance' crap!"

Daniel blinked three times before responding, but he only got one word out before Jack continued.

"Jack…"

"No, don't 'Jack' me on this one, Daniel! You're always so quick to believe! So gullible! Don't you remember how confused you were when Sha're died?"

Daniel stood to join Jack in the middle of the room. "Don't you bring her into this, Jack!"

"And why not, Daniel? You told me that you thought you'd lived weeks in the minutes you were in that tent with Teal'c! You told me you couldn't figure out what was real and what was a dream! How is this different? How do we know this isn't all one big hallucination?"

"This doesn't feel like that, Jack! It's completely different! For one thing, Sam was gone too long! And everything has been too linear! There's no gaps! No flipping back and forth from one reality to another!"

Both men were yelling now, and they stood face to face.

"So? Who's to say these things are always the same?"

"Dammit, Jack! Do you want me to admit this might not be real? Fine! It might not be real! You're right! Okay? But what does that matter? The only way we're going to find out if this is real or not is to run with it! And the way I see it, you have two choices when it comes to that!"

Jack raised his eyebrows and interrupted Daniel's tirade. "Which are?"

"Well, you can continue to stew in your own anger and make everyone miserable, OR you can accept this and see what comes of it. We can't prove anything one way or the other, Jack! At least not right now! So why not make the best of it? Jack-we've got Sam back! Does it really matter how or why?"

"Yes, Daniel, it does!" thundered Jack.

"Why? Why not just take this second chance? Why not grab it and hold onto it like life itself?"

"Because, Daniel. Because if there is even the slightest chance that Sam was still alive in that cave, and I left her behind…"

Jack trailed off, and Daniel interrupted.

"But she wasn't, Jack. She said so herself."

"And how would she know, Daniel? People who report near-death experiences say all sorts of crazy things. For all we know, Carter crawled out of that cave and healed on her own."

"Jack, that's ridiculous, and you know it. There is no way Sam could've healed from her injuries, especially not this quickly. And even if she did, there would be signs of them. Scars, bruises, whatever! Janet can't find a damn thing wrong with her!"

"But still, I left her…"

"No, you didn't, Jack! You didn't have a choice in the matter! Teal'c made the decision for you!"

Daniel's words were meant to calm his friend; to placate him. They did neither, and in fact had quite the opposite effect. Daniel might have expected Jack's reaction if he'd been thinking clearly, but he was too riled up to screen his words and they just flew from his mouth.

The moment they did, he wished he could take them back.

Jack's posture stiffened, and every muscle in his body stilled. The anger that had been simmering in Jack since Sam's 'death' returned in full force and Daniel expected another violent outburst, but the rage seemed to flee nearly as quickly as it had come on, and Jack's stillness persisted for longer than Daniel would've thought possible.

Finally, Jack's anger morphed completely into sadness and Jack let out a strangled sigh. He choked out four words.

"And that's just it."

Confusion overtook Daniel. After all the rage Jack had built up against Teal'c in the past weeks, Daniel had expected more of the same. But this quiet resignation was shocking, and it scared Daniel a little in its sincere apathy.

"What's just it, Jack?"

Jack looked up and met Daniel's eyes, then quickly looked away, almost shamefully.

"You're right. It wasn't my decision, and it was easy when I could just blame T."

A protest immediately sprang to Daniel's lips but Jack held up a hand to ward it off and continued.

"Rightly or wrongly, I took that easy way out. I admit that much. But now… now I just don't know what to think… what to feel…"

"Just give it a few days, Jack. See what happens."

Jack snorted. "Yeah. I don't know, Daniel. I wish it were that easy."

"Why can't it be?"

"Just because, Daniel, just because. You know what? I'm gonna go home. I don't want to stay here tonight. I'll see you in the morning, Daniel."

Daniel blinked in surprise at Jack's sudden change of thought while Jack pulled on a pair of shoes.

"You sure? It's awfully late, Jack."

"Yeah, I just need some air. I'll see ya later, ok, Daniel?"

Daniel nodded mutely as Jack stepped out of the room, then snapped out of his confused haze and followed his friend.

"Jack!" Daniel called down the hall.

Jack turned and raised his eyebrows at the younger man. "Yeah?"

"You sure you're ok? You want a ride or anything?"

Jack shook his head. "Nah. I'll be fine, Daniel."

Daniel had caught up to Jack as they spoke, and the older man laid a hand on the archeologist's shoulder as he continued to speak. Daniel's eyes were filled with questions that Jack knew he'd never ask, so he merely answered them.

"I won't do anything stupid. Now go get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."

Daniel's lips quirked in a small smile. He knew Jack had just read his mind, and it was nice to know that the man who knew him so well was still in there somewhere.

"Promise?" Daniel's voice was teasing.

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I just need some air."

Daniel knew when he was being dismissed. "Alright. See you later, then."

"Later, Daniel."

Daniel made it to bed much later than he'd planned, and sleep was a long time in coming for him, but when he finally slept, he was glad that he'd talked to Jack, and he only hoped that things would look better in the morning.


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

While Daniel was talking to Jack, Sam sat on her bed and stared at the four rather bleak walls surrounding her.

She was bored.

And while everyone else at the SGC had had a busy day, she had merely sat in bed for most of the day and slept for the rest of it. She wasn't tired in the least.

She'd already caught up on basic news, and since dead people don't get many e-mails, it hadn't taken her long to finish up online tasks.

She flopped down on her bed and tried to rest, but that was like asking Daniel to give up coffee.

It simply wasn't going to happen.

Finally, out of frustration as much as anything else, Sam stood and opened the door to her quarters. Outside, her two guards stood on either side of the door. When they saw her, the two men looked at her with mild interest.

"Hi, guys," greeted Sam.

"Ma'am." The two guards spoke in unison.

"Is it alright if I go for a walk? I'm just a little stir-crazy, cooped up in here."

"Yes, ma'am. That's perfectly fine," answered the taller of Sam's two companions.

Sam smiled back at him and strode out into the corridor. She didn't know where she was going, but she didn't care. She just felt the need to move. A restless energy flowed through her and it needed to be released.

Sam walked aimlessly for almost an hour, but she was careful to avoid sensitive areas of the base. She knew that her freedom was conditional, and she didn't want to raise any suspicions of her motives. So, she stayed away from the gateroom, the armories, and even her own lab. She chatted with her guards easily enough after a few minutes, and even they had to admit that walking the halls was preferable to standing in one spot all night.

Somehow, she managed to avoid both Jack and Daniel in her travels, but as she neared her quarters again, content to reattempt sleep, something made her stop.

She turned to her guards.

"Do you smell that?"

Both men nodded, and Sam turned in a circle to get her bearings. Once she did, she smiled.

"I didn't realize we were so close to Teal'c's quarters," Sam mumbled.

The guards looked puzzled, so Sam explained.

"It's candle-wax. You've never noticed it before?"

"No, ma'am, but we're both pretty new here," answered one man.

"Oh, well, in that case, get used to it. You'll smell it a lot here. Teal'c lights a lot of candles in his quarters when he's, um, resting."

"Is that safe?"

Sam laughed. "Well, it hasn't caused a problem so far."

The guards seemed to accept Sam's words and the trio prepared to continue on their way, but something made Sam pause. When Daniel later asked her what it was, she didn't know, but something compelled Sam to look hard at Teal'c's door before she moved again.

When she did, she saw something she didn't expect. A shadow moved across the crack between the floor and Teal'c's door. The flickering candlelight from inside Teal'c's quarters cast a barely detectable pool of illumination into the hall from under the Jaffa's door, and Sam clearly saw a well-delineated shadow cut off the light, then disappear again.

Teal'c was awake.

Sam stood in the hallway for only a fraction of a second before she moved. Her guards followed her, and if there was some anxiety evident in their expressions, there was none in Sam's. She needed to talk to Teal'c, and now was as good a time as any.

Sam reached Teal'c's door in six strides and knocked on it quietly but insistently.

Teal'c answered within seconds, proving his wakefulness. When he opened the door, he blinked. Those that knew him would have recognized the expression on his face as surprise. Sam smiled back at him.

"Expecting someone else, Teal'c?"

"I thought perhaps you were Daniel Jackson."

Sam shrugged. "Nope, just me. Mind if I come in?"

A shadow crossed Teal'c's face, but he nonetheless gestured for Sam to enter. He nodded to the guards, and they took up positions outside his quarters as Sam stepped through the door.

Teal'c shut the door behind Sam and followed her inside, and even the guards saw that the usually unreadable Jaffa was nervous. When both Sam and Teal'c had taken seats on the floor, Teal'c greeted his guest.

"How may I assist you, Major Carter?"

"I couldn't sleep. I saw you were up. Thought I'd see if you wanted company."

"I see."

It was quiet for a long moment, then Sam spoke again.

"So, I take it you heard my story?"

"Indeed."

"Well, then. Let's cut to the chase, shall we?"

"I do not understand, Major Carter."

"Yes, you do, Teal'c. But that's ok, I'll spell it out. Do you believe me or not?"

Teal'c studied a spot on the wall above Sam's head for a few seconds, then slowly nodded.

"I do."

Sam sighed in relief. "That's good to know. It means a lot to have you on my side, Teal'c."

As Sam spoke, the shadow that had played across Teal'c's face earlier returned, and Sam didn't miss it. The darkness wasn't easy to identify, but Sam pegged it correctly as guilt.

"Teal'c? You ok?"

Teal'c did not reply for several seconds, and he physically turned his head away from Sam to avoid eye contact with her, but eventually he spoke in a voice that was huskier than usual.

"I am fine, Samantha."

Few humans had the balls to stand up to Teal'c, former first prime of Apophis and intergalactic warrior, but Samantha Carter was one of them, and her one word response to his statement was more than enough to prove it.

"Bullshit."

Teal'c wasn't used to this type of response from people, but he'd come to expect nothing less from Carter, at least in private. A smile quirked the corners of his mouth upward, and he had to admit he enjoyed Sam's pluck. She was a woman not to be toyed with, and that was something Teal'c could appreciate.

"I see you have lost none of your conversation skills from your adventure, Major Carter."

Sam laughed a little. "That's not the issue here. What's the matter?"

"I told you, I am fine, Major Carter."

"And I called bullshit. Still do. What's going on?"

Teal'c was quiet for a long moment, then spoke slowly. "I am uncertain as to why you would wish my support, Major Carter."

Now it was Sam's turn to take a moment to respond. She blinked at Teal'c several times, then opened and closed her mouth twice before finally managing to speak.

"Excuse me? Why wouldn't I want you on my side, Teal'c?"

"Since the events surrounding your… death… my position at Stargate Command has changed. Many no longer accept me as an ally, and question the events that transpired in the cave."

Sam's eyebrows knit together as wheels turned, then clicked in her brain.

"They think you're somehow responsible?"

"Indeed."

"Teal'c, that's insane!"

"There are those who do not think it so."

Sam's shoulders slumped and her eyes closed as another gear locked into place in her head. She sighed loudly, then spoke in a soft whisper.

"Colonel O'Neill."

"Indeed."

"He'll come around, Teal'c."

"I am not so sure, Major Carter."

"Why not?"

"He has expressed doubts as to your… authenticity."

Sam huffed out a snort. "Of course he has. That's just his way. But he'll come around, Teal'c. Just give it some time."

"I am uncertain that time will be sufficient in this matter, Samantha."

As he spoke, Teal'c averted his eyes from Sam again, and yet another piece of the puzzle fell into place for Sam.

"It's not just Colonel O'Neill, is it, Teal'c?"

"No. There are others that feel as he does."

"That's not what I meant. You know the Colonel will come around eventually. And you've never cared about anybody else's opinion before. That's not the problem, is it?"

Teal'c continued to look away from Sam as he ground out a response. "I do not follow your meaning, Major Carter."

"It's you, isn't it?"

"I do not understand."

"It's you who lays the most blame at your feet. It's all you. You're the one who can't forgive."

Teal'c's voice cut across Sam's then and the Jaffa seemed to choke on his own words.

"Samantha, I implore you…"

Sam ignored him.

"No! This isn't right, Teal'c! You're so eaten up with guilt that you can't even think straight! You haven't even really looked at me since I got here! Look at me, Teal'c!"

Teal'c did not move. He stared hard at the floor in front of him.

When Sam's words got no response, she tried again. This time, her voice was quieter, but it was strengthened by a quiet resolve that few could argue, and when she reached one hand out to her friend, he could no more deny her request than he could force himself not to breathe.

"Teal'c… look at me…"

Sam's hand reached out and firmly lifted Teal'c's chin until his eyes met hers as she half crawled to a position closer to him.

"None of this was your fault. I saw the whole thing, remember?"

"But I left you…"

"Yes, you did. And that was the right thing to do. If you hadn't, you and Colonel O'Neill would be dead, too, and in case you hadn't noticed, if you hadn't survived to screw everything up as badly as you have, I don't know that I would have been able to return."

Teal'c's eyes clouded over with confusion at these words, and Sam nearly laughed.

"Don't you get it, Teal'c? I could see you. All of you. And your pain brought me back. If Jack hadn't been so angry… if you hadn't tried to leave… if you both hadn't treated Daniel like a doormat… I might have stayed where I was… I should thank you, Teal'c. Without you, this wouldn't have been possible."

Sam rarely spoke so many words, at least not about things that really mattered, and her partner in silence seemed to know what her confessions had cost her.

"I understand, Major Carter. Thank you."

Sam shook her head. "No, I told you. Thank you. It's over, Teal'c. Let it go."

Teal'c nodded deeply and his chin broke contact with Sam's hand. Sam sat back on her butt and looked at her friend thoughtfully.

Teal'c noticed.

"What is it, Major Carter?"

"You were still thinking about leaving, weren't you?"

Teal'c nodded in admission. "I was."

"And now?"

Teal'c nearly shrugged. "Perhaps I shall stay a while."

Sam smiled and her joy lit the room. "Good enough for me, Teal'c. Good enough for me."

Suddenly, Sam stood, and Teal'c hustled to do the same.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to get some sleep," said Sam.

"I believe I shall attempt to Kelnoreem, as well, Major Carter."

"See you tomorrow, Teal'c."

"Indeed. Good night, Major Carter."

"Night, Teal'c."

Sam showed herself out and found her previous guards replaced by two new, fresh-faced young airmen. Sam smiled at them and happily waltzed to her quarters, where she fell immediately into a dreamless sleep. Her last thought was of her CO, and how she hoped he really would come around after all.


	29. Chapter 29

_Spoilers in this chapter-Cold Lazarus, Fire and Water, In The Line of Duty, Point of View, Scorched Earth. Mild language._

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

Jack left the mountain just as Daniel fell into bed and Sam knocked on Teal'c's door.

But he didn't go home.

He'd had a vague intention to do so, but as soon as the cool night air of Colorado hit his face, that goal fled with the wind. He'd told Daniel he needed air, and apparently he'd meant it.

The breeze was refreshing after the stifling re-circulated air of the base, and Jack inhaled it in large draughts. It was just cold enough to bite at him a little without inflicting too much harm.

As Jack simply breathed for a moment in front of the yawning mouth of the mountain, he stretched his arms in several wide circles. As he finished, a small grin lit his face. He stepped boldly into the parking lot.

He crossed it in about twenty paces and slipped into the woods.

He didn't know where he was going, but somehow he knew where he'd end up.

XXX

He'd found this place years ago.

He didn't come here often, but when he did, the place always seemed magical. It held a sort of special clarity. Things seemed clearer to Jack O'Neill in this spot than they did nearly anywhere else, and he sorely needed that tonight.

He'd first come here after the crystal entity Charlie incident. It had been quite an accident, but after returning the duplicate of his lost son to its homeworld, Jack had taken a long walk around the mountain to clear his head.

The moon had been full, and long after most of Colorado Springs was asleep, it had illuminated Jack's favorite thinking spot.

The tree was ancient, and had seen storms no human alive has witnessed.

Its branches arced skyward like long fingers in the night, but also grew close to the ground, making the tree a natural shelter against wind and rain.

That also made it easy to climb, and while Jack was no longer a boy, he shimmied up to his favorite roost easily and swung his feet several feet off the ground happily as his mind wandered back to the many times this tree had served him.

He'd come here to question his memory when Daniel was lost on Nem's planet.

And again when Carter lay unresponsive in an infirmary bed after Jolinar.

Another visit was prompted by a run-in with an alternate Kawalsky and his extremely disturbing travel companion.

The last time was after the Enkarans.

'God,' thought Jack. 'That was the worst. I nearly killed Daniel… but I suppose it was the only choice to be made… Teal'c was right…'

And there it was, suddenly laid out in front of Jack like a headline.

Daniel.

The Enkarans.

And Teal'c.

The Jaffa's words came back to Jack in perfect total recall.

"_Daniel Jackson has made his choice, O'Neill."_

A second previous, Carter had put the ball rightfully in Jack's court.

" _The ship is in position, Sir. If you're gonna do it, you have to do it now."_

Jack knew then, as he did now, that whether or not to destroy the Gadmeer ship was his choice to make that day. But he'd hesitated. Blowing the ship meant killing Daniel, and he'd faltered in his resolve. Jack had floundered for a moment, unsure and scared shitless, and only Teal'c's simple statement had brought him back to reality.

A reality where he was a commander.

A reality where it was his responsibility to make the hard choices.

Teal'c's words had forced Jack to admit that he'd left childhood, with its simple rules and simple decisions, long ago. They were wise, and Jack had been forcefully reminded that when it came to military service, he was only a young pup compared to Teal'c.

Jack had pushed the button, but it was Teal'c's strength, and not his own, that had allowed him to do so.

Jack's heart had shattered at the idea of losing Daniel, again, (this time probably for good and by his own hand) but the decision was made. Somehow, though, as was usually the case with Daniel, things had worked out. Jack's decision was a moot point later, but that did nothing to lessen his pain in the short term. Nothing could change the fact that Daniel should've joined Kawalsky in the great beyond.

Jack snorted to himself as thoughts of Charles Kawalsky floated across his mind again.

He'd been a great friend, and Jack missed him more than he ever let on. It had been great to see him again, even in that weird and slightly altered quantum mirror form.

And with that thought, Jack fell out of his tree.

He landed with a dull thud and little grace but without injury.

When he righted himself, his eyes were wide as saucers and his breathing was rapid.

He'd just realized something that had literally knocked him for a loop.

It had been great to see Kawalski again, that much was true, and while the same could be said for the current situation with Carter, Jack's epiphany was more than that.

And again, the deep rumbling voice of a Jaffa echoed in Jack's head.

And this time, it made even more sense.

Jack laughed out loud as he realized Daniel was right. It had taken a memory of Teal'c to let him see that, but Jack finally realized that his young friend had a point.

What the hell difference did it make if this thing with Sam somehow turned out to be something other than what it seemed later? The reality Jack was living was the only one that mattered! Daniel was right-he was! Jack was completely flabbergasted at his own obtuseness. There was no way to prove anything one way or the other, unless things changed, and it only made sense to just make the best of things in the meantime. Jack did have two options, though, and the choice between them wasn't simple. Then again, such decisions rarely are.

One path was as familiar to him as his own skin, and while that familiarity was enticing, Jack knew that road too well to like where it was headed. This was the path of bitterness, anger, and resentment. It was filled with blame, retribution, and pain. This road was poorly lit, but Jack's feet knew where to tread upon it. He didn't need to see to know how to walk there. He'd journeyed many roads just like it in his life, and he'd been walking it ever since Sam's death in the cave. It was a sweet temptation, and Jack's darker side willed him to continue down that path into the deep, dark woods of despair and loneliness, but the other path, the path of acceptance, friendship, and hope, suddenly looked a lot more inviting.

Jack saw Sam's face in his mind's eye, then Daniel's, then Jacob's. He smiled. He was still completely freaked out by recent events, but flames of joy began to lick at his heart. There was a chance to wipe the hurt from Daniel's face and to ease the pain from Jacob's eyes.

And maybe, just maybe, Jack could slap a band-aid on this thing with Teal'c before things got any worse. And Junior could always take over from there.


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

When Daniel reported for the 0800 briefing the following morning, he found a bleary-eyed but bushy-tailed Jack O'Neill calmly waiting for him.

Jack sat in his usual chair, and he leaned back with casual ease, as if his presence at only 0700 was as normal as the rising of the sun.

Daniel was immediately puzzled by Jack's behavior and went on high alert.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"Well, it's just that I'm here an hour early, and well… so are you."

"I'm second-in-command of this base, Daniel. Don't I have a right to be early?"

"A right, yes. But you don't exactly make it a habit."

Jack snorted. "I'll grant you that. Come to think of it, neither do you. At least not at this time of day. What are you doing here?"

Daniel shrugged. "Woke up early. Couldn't get back to sleep. Figured I might as well get up."

"Yeah. I can understand that. This thing with Sam's got everyone in a bit of a funk, huh?"

Daniel didn't respond. He stared at Jack as if his friend had suddenly grown two heads. Jack had just called Sam by her given name, and he was talking about her like he was discussing the weather. He was calm and the hard edge that had been a constant undercurrent in his voice since Sam's demise was absent.

When he got no answer, Jack stood and walked to Daniel. He snapped his fingers in the younger man's face. "Daniel?"

Daniel blinked. "Oh, right. Yeah. You're right. It's messing with everyone."

"I couldn't sleep, either," admitted Jack.

"You could've called."

"Nah, didn't want to wake you. Besides, I wasn't around a phone last night."

"I thought you went home?"

"Nah. Ended up just thinking for a bit."

"Thinking?" Daniel's eyebrows rose to his hairline, and this earned him a scowl from Jack.

"It has been known to happen occasionally, you know."

Daniel held up his hands in mock defense. "No arguments here. Reach any good conclusions?"

Jack opened his mouth to answer, but he never got a chance.

Walter Harriman entered the room carrying a tray laden with fruit, small snack cakes, and a fresh urn of coffee. Jack eyed the Sergeant appreciatively.

"Walter, I told you you didn't have to do that. I would've gotten it myself."

The Sergeant looked at Jack with disinterest that bordered on insubordination for a long moment before speaking. "This isn't for you, sir. I deliver this everyday for the AM briefing. You know that. It's on my way, and I don't mind. But since you've already depleted my usual supply, I did bring an extra pot of coffee. Now, if you'll excuse me, sir?"

Jack nodded and Walter scurried from the room. As soon as the enlisted man was gone, Daniel turned to Jack.

"You already depleted his supply of coffee?"

Jack nodded and Daniel followed the older man's eyes to the coffee pot that usually sat in one corner of the room. It was empty. Another pot was brewing but hadn't yet produced any of the brown liquid that served as fuel for most of the SGC.

"Jack, how long have you been here?"

"Bout three hours."

"What?"

"I told you, I couldn't sleep."

"And you couldn't think of anything else to do? You've just been hanging around here, waiting for the briefing to start?"

"Yep."

Daniel sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Jack…"

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Fine."

Jack turned and looked down at the Stargate below him. After pouring himself a cup of coffee from Walter's pot, Daniel did the same. The two men stood in silence as the base began to come to life around them. Both were lost in their own thoughts, but it was Jack O'Neill who finally verbalized his.

"You were right, you know."

Daniel blinked in surprise, not sure he'd heard Jack right. "What?"

"You were right."

"About what?"

Jack chuckled. "Carter."

"What?"

"You were right. Took me half the night to realize it, but you were. I might as well enjoy whatever it is we've got while we've got it."

"Jack…"

Now it was General Hammond's turn to interrupt the two friends, and Daniel got no further.

"Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Jackson. Good morning."

"Good morning, sir," returned Jack.

"General," said Daniel.

"I see we're all getting an early start today."

"Yes, sir," answered Jack.

"Good," acknowledged Hammond. "I'd like to get this show on the road. I have a few calls to make, but Jacob should be here shortly, and we'll begin. Excuse me, gentlemen."

Hammond grabbed a bagel and a cup of coffee and retired to his adjoining office.

His intrusion was enough to produce a change in Jack, however, and Daniel could tell that Jack was no longer interested in talking. Military Jack was back and talkative Jack had been silenced. Daniel gently reminded his friend of their earlier conversation as a test, but he knew that the odds of Jack continuing were not in his favor.

"So, decided to give the quantum mirror and mass hallucination theories a rest, huh?"

Jack blinked. "I never said anything about the quantum mirror, Daniel."

"Yeah, well… just figured you'd have a million ideas about where Sam came from."

Jack seemed to not hear. "And you said before that the quantum mirror hasn't been activated. There's no way this Sam came through there. Although… now that you mention it…"

"Jack."

"I suppose there could be another quantum mirror somewhere out there. This Sam could have come through that one and then gated here. But that still doesn't explain the iris thing, and…"

"Jack!"

"What, Daniel?"

"You were babbling."

"Really? Oh, sorry… guess I was. But the point is that it doesn't matter, Daniel. We can't possibly go looking on every backwater planet in the universe for an explanation for this. I hate to say it, but you were right. Ok?"

Daniel was stunned. "Ok. Sure. Care to enlighten me on the reason for this change of heart?"

Jack opened his mouth, but was again interrupted. Hammond returned to the room just as Teal'c entered from the opposite end.

"Well, it looks like Jacob will be delayed for a few minutes," stated the General. "We might as well start this briefing. Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Jackson, Teal'c, have a seat, please."

The three men did as they were told, and Hammond continued.

"So, Colonel, I know you have your doubts as to the authenticity of Major Carter, but I'd like your thoughts on where we go from here. Do we continue to keep her under guard? For how long? And what about the rest of SG-1? I know you've been through a lot, son, but eventually you all are going to have to get back out there. When do you think that might happen? And what about personnel?" At this, Hammond gave Jack a pointed look and then pitched his eyes toward the only Jaffa at the table. Jack knew what he was being asked and didn't need things spelled out. The funny thing was, that while he'd thought this conversation would be hard, now that he was here, it seemed amazingly simple. Jack started to answer, but Daniel spoke first.

"General, forgive me, but I said before that I don't think guards are necessary for Sam, and I for one am in favor of returning SG-1 to full status sooner rather than later."

"Son, I understand that," said Hammond. "But we both know that there's more to consider here. What do you think, Jack?"

Jack pursed his lips and seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, so Daniel stole a glance at Teal'c. The warrior seemed to be more relaxed than Daniel had seen him in a while, and Daniel wondered if both Jack and Teal'c had abused some sort of psychotropic substance overnight. However, as Jack contemplated Hammond's words, Teal'c's spine stiffened slightly. Daniel knew that the Jaffa was wondering what Jack would say, and he had to confess that so was he. Jack might have accepted 'Sam', but his feelings about Teal'c would determine the future of SG-1, and everyone knew it.

After all, the powers that be would probably have a field day with Sam before they let her back on duty, and not much could be done to change that. Jack O'Neill's opinion might have some weight, but it wouldn't stop congressional oversight committees and such from having their say. It would be weeks before Sam would be free of red tape, hearings, and questioning.

When Jack finally spoke, his voice was slow and deliberate.

"I think we should assume that the person appearing to be Major Carter is, in fact, Major Carter. As for what to do with her, sir, you and I both know that won't be up to us. Keeping guards on her is probably best for now, just to be safe."

Hammond was surprised. "Jack, you never cease to amaze me. Yesterday you were adamant in your doubts about Major Carter. What changed your mind?"

Jack grinned a mischievous smile. "Well, sir, I…"

The rest of Jack's words were cut off by Jacob Carter's voice as he burst into the briefing room. He was followed by a child of about nine years old and then by four airmen, obviously guards, who had hold of the boy's arms. Jacob was in rare form. He turned his anger onto the guards.

"I told you to leave him alone! He's with me. Now, would you let me be? I'm invited to this briefing, and I know that at least three of you know me personally! Now, get out of here before I have you all court-martialed!"

The guards looked to General Hammond for guidance. He smiled and waved them out of the room. They left with palpable relief. Jacob had obviously been hard on them all the way down from the surface.

"Thank you!" said Jacob with a huff, as he practically flopped into an empty chair at the table. The boy with him quietly took a seat beside him and smiled in greeting at the group.

Everyone was stunned by Jacob's appearance with the boy, and no one spoke for several seconds. Jacob looked expectantly at George, and finally the General recovered.

"Jacob, nice to see you. I see you've brought a friend. I believe we may know him?"

Jacob scowled. "Well, if you do, you're one up on me. I found him at the entrance to the base, and he asked me to bring him here. He knew all sorts of things a boy really shouldn't know about the SGC, so I figured there was no harm in humoring him. That way, we can at least find out who he is and how he knows what he knows."

Several small chuckles met Jacob's words, and he was obviously flummoxed as to why until Daniel took pity upon him.

"His name is Shifu. He's Harsesis."

The boy's smile grew wider, and Daniel addressed him as Jacob's eyes widened, then narrowed in irritation at the young man who had kept him in the dark.

"What are you doing here?"

Shifu blinked. "Sometimes the teacher comes after the lesson is learned."

"What?" asked Jack.

Shifu regarded Jack with patience. His face wore the look of a gentle grandmother. "I believe you know that to which I refer. Were you not about to share why you now accept Major Carter?"

Jack nodded. "Well, yeah, but…"

Shifu uncharacteristically interrupted. "Please continue with your reasoning. I suspect it is sound."

Daniel, Hammond, and Jacob turned their eyes to Jack, and he had no choice but to respond. Teal'c continued to look towards Shifu, but even his eyes slid sideways to catch Jack's reaction in his peripheral vision.

Jack opened his mouth a few times before he actually managed speech, but he managed at last to find a strong voice.

"I changed my mind because I remembered something. Something somebody said once."

"And?" prompted Hammond.

"Well, a friend of mine once said that 'ours is the only reality of consequence'. I've decided he was right."

As Jack spoke, he shrugged. His speech was casual, as if he were announcing that he'd picked waffles over pancakes for breakfast, but the effect of it was nothing of the sort.

Daniel nearly choked on a sip of coffee, and Teal'c's head slowly swung around to face his commanding officer. Jacob and George shared a look of mild confusion over the effect of Jack's words on his teammates, but they said nothing.

Shifu merely grinned.

Teal'c met Jack's eyes and neither man moved for a long moment as shock took over Teal'c's features and remained entrenched there for several heartbeats until confusion overcame it as Jack's words truly sunk in.

No one was quite sure what to say until the youngest of them spoke up.

"A wise philosophy, and even more so in this case," said Shifu.

All heads turned to the young man, and Shifu inclined his head to the group.

"Why is that, Shifu?" asked Daniel.

"Because this reality is fact, husband of my mother."

"You mean you're here to confirm that Major Carter's story is true?" questioned Hammond.

Shifu nodded deeply. "I am. I helped Samantha return to you."

"Shifu!" exclaimed Daniel. "Why didn't you tell us this to begin with? Why didn't you come with her through the gate or something?"

Shifu smiled his maddeningly calm smile and looked to Jack. His wise eyes held Jack's for eternity before they returned to Daniel.

"If the student is given the answer, he does not learn."

Suddenly, a female voice cut across the conversation. "Shifu! What have I told you about speaking in riddles?"

All thoughts of little boys and riddles were forgotten as Jacob Carter jumped up and embraced his daughter.

"Sam! Is it you? I couldn't believe it when George told me! The boy? Everything? What?"

Sam hugged her father back and smiled broadly. "It's all true, Dad. I'll explain everything later. But I'm me. I'm here. I'm back."

"Oh, thank God!" Jacob crushed Sam to his chest and held her until a throat cleared behind him.

As he released his daughter, Jacob flushed a little and returned to his seat. Sam took a chair across the table from him and nodded to the group as she addressed Hammond.

"Permission to join the briefing, sir?"

Hammond nodded. "By all means, Major."

"Thank you, sir. Sorry I'm late. I wasn't sure if I was invited, and apparently neither were my guards. It wasn't easy getting in here today."

"That's ok, Major. Apparently today is the day for unannounced guests." Hammond's gaze was directed at Shifu as he spoke and the boy graciously bowed his head.

Daniel also looked at the Harsesis again. "Yes, it is. Now, what were you saying, Shifu?"

"In plain English, please," added Sam.

Shifu grinned at Sam and nearly shrugged, but he did not speak. He didn't have to. Jack answered for him.

"He said he wanted me to come to this decision on my own."

Shifu bowed his head to Jack. "It is more meaningful that way."

"Well," said Daniel, "I'm not sure about that, but I'll take it however I can get it."

"Excuse me," said Sam. "What exactly are we talking about, anyway? What decision, sir?"

Jack looked at his 2IC calmly and smiled a little. "I've decided to take things at face value."

"Sir?" Sam was confused.

"He means that he thinks you're you, Sam," said Daniel.

"Sir?" Sam was still confused. She hadn't expected this reaction, at least not this soon. She'd been prepared to deal with the Jack from her visions for a much longer period of time, and this was throwing her for a loop.

Jack grimaced. "Yeah, what he said, Carter. You're you, I'm me, we're all us, or whatever."

Sam's eyebrows knitted together. She blinked. She even went so far as to put one hand to her forehead and rub her temple. Jacob couldn't help but chuckle a little at the expression he knew so well from Sam's younger years, but Sam didn't notice. She was too busy studying Jack.

No one said anything until Jack finally addressed Sam again.

"Carter, I swear, if you say 'sir' one more time…"

"I won't. I'm just confused."

Jack laughed. "You and everyone else around here."

Snorts of agreement came from Daniel, Jacob, and General Hammond, but Teal'c and Shifu remained silent. The Jaffa studied his friends, while Shifu calmly studied Teal'c.

When no one spoke, Jack sighed. "How about we just call it a command decision?"

Sam cocked her head to one side and regarded Jack with a question in her eyes. Her eyebrows arched and her eyes flicked purposefully to Teal'c before returning to Jack.

Jack held Sam's gaze for a moment, but eventually his focus turned to Teal'c. He met the Jaffa's eyes for a split second, then returned to Carter's.

And he nodded.

It was the most subtle movement a human head can make, but Sam would've seen it a mile away. Daniel and General Hammond were unsure later if they imagined the motion, but Teal'c and Jacob would side with Sam. So would Selmak. Jack nodded.

And Sam answered him. Her response was only one word, but that was all it took.

"Done."

And so it was.

In a flash of brilliant white light, Shifu disappeared, leaving only a faint wisp of ozone behind.

"I hate it when he does that," murmured Sam.

"You're telling me," agreed Daniel.

Sam snorted. "Oh, please! You wouldn't believe what he put me through before he told me he could help me! All those riddles! The double talk! The questions!"

"Well, at least he didn't knock you out and give a week's long hallucination!"

"You weren't out for weeks, Daniel!"

"Yeah, but the dream felt like years!"

"It was barely hours, Daniel! I was gone for over a week! And when Shifu finally did show up, he didn't tell me he could help me for ages!"

While Daniel and Sam argued, something strange happened to everyone else present.

They began to laugh.

Three grown men began to chuckle under their breath and hid grins behind hands. They were joined by a Jaffa who, for once, was anything but stoic.

Jacob's eyes danced as they caught George's, and he nearly lost his battle to keep his merriment in check. Jack watched his two younger teammates and shook his head in disbelief but managed to contain the giggle in his throat until he glanced at Teal'c. The Jaffa wore an expression of incredulity. Teal'c, like Jack, knew well that only Daniel and Sam could possibly have an argument about who had been more abused by Shifu. Especially in the middle of a briefing, even one such as this. Especially when the boy had just returned Sam from the dead.

Jack's eyes met Teal'c's for a fraction of a second, but it was long enough for Jack to see Teal'c nod his head in the direction of their friends and make a hand gesture that clearly said 'can you believe this?'. At that, Jack lost his battle with his giggle, and he chuckled to himself.

Teal'c joined him, and something that had hung between the two men since that horrible day in the cave took flight. Tension broke, and silent communication was again possible.

As Jacob and his old friend looked on, and as Daniel and Sam continued to bicker with no thought to anyone else present, Teal'c and Jack looked at one another, then at their teammates, then back to each other. As their eyes met for this final exchange, Teal'c gestured to Daniel and Sam again. This time, he was clearly saying 'are you going to stop this, or do I have to do it?'.

"At least he didn't make you think you were completely evil!" yelled Daniel, and Jack took the hint.

"Children!" thundered Jack.

Daniel and Sam shut up. They both stared at Jack like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar for a moment, then they slowly looked around the room without moving their heads.

As their eyes absorbed General Hammond, Jacob, Jack, and Teal'c, they blushed and ducked their heads. The moves were very familiar to everyone present, but most so to Jack and Teal'c, and Jack spoke for everyone as he leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms wide.

He addressed Hammond.

"Well, sir, I think that just about sums it up, don't you?"

"I'm not sure I understand, Colonel," answered Hammond.

"Well, sir, if that's not Carter and Daniel, I don't know what is. And it seems to me that T and I can keep them in line. So, I think we're done here, sir."

Hammond thought for a moment, then nodded to his 2IC. "I think you're right, Jack. What do you think, Jacob?"

"I think I'm about ready to get out of here and have a long talk with my daughter."

"I think we can arrange that. SG-1, you're dismissed."


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

It was hours later when Jack was interrupted by a knock on his office door.

He'd been expecting the knock, but he still hesitated in answering it. Eventually, however, he sighed and bit the metaphorical bullet.

"Come in."

The door slowly creaked open and a balding head emerged from the hallway.

Jack's eyebrows rose. He hadn't expected _this _visitor.

By the time the guest was fully in the room, Jack's demeanor was professional, but something of his surprise must have still shown in his expression, because the newcomer called him on it.

"Not the Carter you were expecting, perhaps?" said Jacob, with a touch of amusement.

"Something like that," replied Jack. "Where is that daughter of yours, anyway? I thought you'd be glued to her hip right about now."

"Oh, I was. But I think she got tired of me. I believe the word she used was 'overbearing', to be exact."

Jack winced a little. "Ouch."

Jacob grinned. "Yeah, but I guess it's to be expected from Sam, right? Anyway, she and Daniel took off to examine some doodad SG-11 found on P5H-481 last week."

"Of course they did. Anyway, how can I help you, Jacob?"

"Well, I've heard the whole story now, and I just wanted to ask you something."

"And?"

Jacob looked nervously around the room once and licked his lips before speaking. "You do think it's her?"

Jack snorted. "Hell, Jake, I don't know what to think. But I meant what I said."

"The part about it not really mattering?"

"Yeah. Took me a while to come to terms with that, but I think it's true. I mean, we can't prove anything one way or the other, so…"

"We might as well do the best we can with what we've got?"

"Exactly. Teal'c was right."

Jacob grew confused. "Teal'c?"

"Yeah. Do you know anyone else who would say something like 'ours is the only reality of consequence'?"

Jacob laughed. "No, I guess not. I should've figured that one out."

"Indeed."

As Jack's one word answer filled the room, Jacob laughed again, and Jack joined him. Jack hadn't intentionally used Teal'c's favorite expression, but the irony of it couldn't be ignored. When the laughter simmered down, Jacob spoke again, in a very serious tone.

"You know, he's a pretty smart guy, that Jaffa."

Jack nodded in a sad way. "Yeah, he really is, isn't he?"

"Of course," mused Jacob, "He is a hell of a lot older than either one of us. Maybe he's learned a few things along the way, huh?"

"No doubt," agreed Jack.

It grew quiet in the small room, and both Jack and Jacob squirmed a little in discomfort. Neither man quite knew what to say now. Finally, Jacob abruptly dismissed himself.

"Well, I'm starved, so I'm going to head to the commissary for some lunch. You want to join me?"

Jack shook his head. "Nah, you go ahead."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I've got some paperwork to catch up on, anyway."

"Ok. I'll see you around, Jack."

"Later, Jacob. Thanks for stopping by."

Jacob turned and left without another word to Jack, but as he stepped into the hall outside Jack's office, another voice entered his mind.

_Does this mean you might start listening to me more? I am much older than Teal'c, you know._

Jacob smiled in near disbelief. Only Selmak would use this to his advantage like this. Jacob 'replied' with the only words he could think of.

'Shut up, Selmak.'


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO**

Daniel and Sam were, in fact, helping SG-11's science officer with a specific piece of alien technology that the team had recovered on a recent mission.

As Daniel worked at translating the ancient engravings on the piece, Sam speculated with the other officer as to the use of the device.

The guards that were assigned to Sam relaxed in their demeanor and eventually became merely a formality as the trio worked, for no possible threat could be perceived. Sam slid back into her normal routine without effort, and it seemed almost as if nothing unusual had happened in the last week.

Things seemed so normal that no one noticed when the base started to turn in for the night or when the guards rotated shifts. The trio merely continued to work long into the night, fascinated by the mystery of something new.

It wasn't until Janet Fraiser popped her auburn head into the lab and skewered the entire group with a disapproving glare that work ground to a reluctant halt.

"As interesting as whatever that is is, lady and gentlemen, I believe it's time to call it a night," the doctor suggested.

Daniel, Sam, and the science officer immediately began to wheedle, like children asking to stay up past their bedtimes.

"But Janet, you have to see this," started Sam.

"It's amazing!" agreed the SG-11 member.

"And these inscriptions are from a dialect I've never encountered off-world before," added Daniel.

Janet smiled patiently as more arguments came her way, but eventually she played her trump card.

"Well, that's all fine and good, but one of you was considered dead until yesterday, so I think it's best not to overdo it, don't you?"

Sam pouted. "But…"

Janet crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. "No buts. Call it a night, Sam. Don't make me make it an order."

"Fine." Sam deflated and trudged out of the lab.

Janet turned to follow her, but then turned back to the men present.

"That goes for you two, too. That will still be here in the morning, you know."

Daniel argued immediately. "But…"

His word met the same frosty eyes and crossed arms as Sam's, and his response was similar. He slammed his book closed in resignation and nearly stomped out of the lab. SG-11's science officer was right behind him.

Small though she was, no one dared cross the mighty Janet Fraiser.

XXX

And so it went.

As long as things were busy, Sam blended seamlessly back into her old life. There were moments of odd discomfort, but they were few and far between, at least among her friends.

So she tried to spend as much time as possible in labs, usually with Daniel or Dr. Lee or another scientist, to distract herself from her ordeal and its aftermath.

She had to, because the red tape of the aftermath was more than even Jack had predicted.

The interviews, briefings, medical tests, and psychological screens with everyone from the Pentagon to neurologists were enough to nearly drive her mad.

More than once, she thought about throwing a psych screen just to get the doctors to leave her alone, but she knew that if she did, she'd never see field duty again, so she kept her cool.

There were questions, probes, inquiries, tests, and more questions.

There were further DNA screens, more MRI's, additional bloodwork, and x-rays.

And through it all, Sam kept her head. She didn't yell and she didn't scream. She didn't even grind her teeth-at least not much.

She also didn't see hide nor hair of Jack O'Neill.

On that first day of freedom, despite the situation, her father really had gotten on her nerves, and she simply wasn't in the mood for more serious conversation, so she hadn't sought her CO out. Work had been exactly what she needed to try to get her life back in order.

And after that, things just hadn't worked out.

She'd tried to find Jack in his office once, but he had been in a meeting. Unknown to her, he'd dropped by her lab once to find her absent, as well.

And then life had just gotten in the way.

Between Sam's interrogations and Jack still needing to be General Hammond's 2IC, there just wasn't much time for talking.

It hadn't been intentional on either's part, but once a few days had gone by, questions began to plague both Jack and Sam, and things grew complicated-as they always did.

Both wondered if the other was avoiding them, and neither wanted to be the one to tentatively step into the gap that now existed between them to try to bridge it.

Sam was her father's daughter, after all, and just as nothing short of extraordinary grief had brought Jacob and Jack into each other's arms, it would take something monumental to bring Jack and Sam face to face now.

They'd come close when Jacob had returned to the Tok'ra a week after Sam's re-appearance. Everyone had gathered in the gateroom to see the elder Carter off, and SG-1 was present in entirely.

Jacob shook hands with General Hammond and Teal'c, then hugged Daniel close before turning to Jack, who stood next to Sam at the foot of the ramp.

He pulled the Colonel into a tight embrace and slapped one hand on the younger man's back. Then he spoke so quietly that only Jack heard him.

"Listen when you need to, Jack. You keep things together, ok, son?"

Jack's face showed puzzlement for only a moment, and then he nodded against the Tok'ra's neck. He understood that Jacob was telling him that he didn't need to make every decision alone-that he needed to listen to those under his command when it was appropriate.

Jacob let Jack go after a moment and turned to Sam.

His farewell to her was a little teary-eyed and a lot emotional, but it was over before anyone grew uncomfortable with watching it.

And then he was gone.

The wormhole whooshed shut behind him, and the gateroom seemed suddenly empty.

Daniel, Teal'c, and Hammond drifted away quietly inside of a minute, and Jack and Sam were alone. Feet were shuffled, but words didn't come easily. Finally, Sam made a quiet confession.

"I'm gonna miss him."

Jack nodded. "Me, too, Major. Me, too."

Jack's eyes found Sam's then, and she could tell that he was sincere. Something like raw emotion flickered between CO and 2IC then, but neither could identify it.

Two heartbeats later, the pair went in opposite directions.

Jack climbed the stairs to the control room, and Sam left through the doors to meet Janet for yet another medical review in the infirmary.

Jacob's leaving simply wasn't enough to fix SG-1. That would have to wait for a while yet.

Fortunately for SG-1, monumental occurrences were everyday events at the SGC.


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

SG-1 was still on stand down three weeks later.

Hammond had hinted that their impromptu 'vacations' would be ended soon, but even if everyone else denied it, Daniel knew that the General was waiting until he was certain that SG-1 could function as a team again before sending them out into the field.

Daniel personally thought that was a mistake, and that getting SG-1 back in the thick of things sooner rather than later was the best course of action, but the military minds at the top didn't care what Daniel had to say. They were still having too much fun playing with Sam to notice such things as archeologists screaming in the wind.

But Daniel saw things the brass couldn't.

Jack was getting antsy. There was only so much paperwork he could catch up on, and he was bored without gate travel, which meant he thought too much. That wasn't good for anyone.

Also, Teal'c was still toying with the idea of leaving Earth. He wouldn't say as much, but he still looked at Jack with a hard edge to his mouth and the shroud of guilt around his eyes.

And then there was Sam. All of the inquiries had confirmed Janet's findings, and the Pentagon and the other powers that be had been forced to conclude that Major Samantha Carter was indeed back from the dead, but that was only the start of her troubles. While the other scientists, Janet, and Daniel seemed to have no problem accepting her, many others did not share that ease.

Most notably Jack and Teal'c.

Both men had professed to accept Sam as the genuine article, but both still had their reservations.

Their doubts were not concerned with Sam herself, but rather with each other.

Deep down, Teal'c still wondered if Jack would be able to trust him again, and in his heart of hearts, Jack wasn't sure he knew the answer.

Daniel saw all of this without effort, and when he added the fact that Sam obviously had something she needed to say to Jack but that had grown too big for either of them to deal with to the mix, he decided it was time to intervene.

He picked up the phone and dialed the infirmary.

A nurse answered, but Daniel was quickly transferred to Dr. Fraiser within seconds.

"Daniel?" she asked. "You ok?"

Daniel smiled at her concern. "Yeah. I'm fine. But I need a favor."

"Name it."

"I think it might be time for a team night."

"And?"

"And can you get Sam to come if I get the guys?"

Janet grinned at the phone. "Oh, I think I can figure something out."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

Janet hung up the phone and turned back to her patients with an evil grin. She agreed with Daniel one hundred percent. SG-1 needed a nice push back to harmony, and if dinner, a few drinks, and a little pointed conversation would do the trick, she'd gladly play her part.

XXX

Four nights later, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c met Janet and Sam for dinner.

Sam was being allowed off base on her own recognizance with the stipulation that she remain with her teammates at all times and that she return to the SGC by 2300.

This didn't please her one bit, and she couldn't help but grouse about it.

"I feel like a teenager asking to stay out past curfew."

Jack laughed as he answered Sam. "I'm sure Jacob would agree with the sentiment, given the circumstances."

Daniel and Janet shared a meaningful glance. So far, things were going better than they'd hoped. No one had protested the idea of a team night (plus one Janet Fraiser) too much, and if Jack and Sam were able to joke with one another, things were looking up indeed.

They'd selected a Tex-Mex restaurant, and as they filed into an oversized rounded booth, hips and shoulders jockeying for position, natural banter and laughter came easily.

Daniel raised his eyebrows as he took a seat next to Fraiser, and she shrugged back, clearly as astounded as he was at the behavior of their friends. Even Teal'c seemed to be pretty relaxed. Could it possibly be this simple? Could Jack, Sam, and Teal'c simply melt back into their old roles as comrades and friends? Had they merely needed a little more time? Somehow, Daniel thought this was more likely to be just a good day, but he'd take a few normal hours with his team whenever he could get it.

The waitress came quickly, and soon drinks were served all around. Jack and Sam both indulged in margaritas, while Teal'c selected iced tea and Daniel and Janet stuck to plain water. Daniel grinned inwardly. He thought a little liquor might not be a bad idea, especially for those two. He thought it was too bad that he couldn't add a bit of that to the brooding mixture that was Teal'c, but since Teal'c was always brooding, he didn't worry too much about the Jaffa's state of mind.

Before long, a second round to drinks was ordered, and food came, too. The team ordered their usual when in restaurants of this type, and Daniel's mouth watered as huge plates of fixings for fajitas came his way. SG-1 often indulged in fajitas. It was just easier to please everyone that way, and no one had too much food left over at the end of the night.

Granted, they ordered for ten when they were usually only four, but that was hardly the point.

Plates of peppers, onions, sour cream and guacamole, steak, and chicken sizzled on the table.

Five hands almost immediately reached for tortillas to start building their creations. Trouble was, there were only two containers of the damned things. Suddenly, the seating arrangement caused some interesting interactions.

Teal'c was seated at one end of the U-shaped booth, with Daniel on the other. Between them, Janet, Jack, and Sam were pretty cozy. Janet was on Daniel's left, and Sam was on Teal'c's right. Jack sat in the middle of the quintet, like a keystone in an arch.

The tortillas were closest to Daniel and Teal'c.

As both Jack and Sam reached for the container near Teal'c, their hands met in mid-air. Sam smacked Jack's hand without thinking about it, and Daniel suddenly started paying more attention to the pair.

Sam seemed very comfortable, and her next words lent more evidence to the fact that despite being the one who had died, she was probably in the best mental state of the group.

"Ladies first, sir. And don't eat all the steak this time. Some of the rest of us might want some, too, you know."

Jack retracted his hand and made a placating gesture. "Oh, my apologies. Far be it from me to eat all the dead cow. Cuz you know, there's not plenty to go around or anything."

Sam glared at Jack, and that's when Daniel saw it. A little O'Neill tell that most wouldn't have noticed. Jack's words were normal enough, but there was a tightness to his eyes that wasn't natural at all. Common enough to be near normal on Jack, but not natural.

He was faking this.

Daniel stared at his friend, and Jack seemed to sense it. The older man's eyes flicked over to Daniel's, then quickly looked away. The contact was only for a second, but it was enough to tell Daniel all he needed to know.

Jack was going along with this dinner idea to shut him up. He was trying to prove to Daniel, to Janet, and probably to Hammond (and himself) that he was fine. He wasn't, not by a long shot, but he could pretend he was, and that had served him so well in the past that the tactic was worth repeating.

Daniel sighed. So much for the idea that his team could merely slide back into their old roles.

Daniel examined Sam, and now he noted that her posture looked a little stiff, too. And perhaps Teal'c's silence was more than just his usual laconic self.

A hand reached under the table and squeezed Daniel's knee. He looked up to see Janet looking at him with sympathy. She'd caught the gist of the unspoken conversation just now, too, and all she could do in response was give Daniel the slightest shrug. He shrugged back, and fell to his food. Janet followed his lead, and the entire table was quiet for a few moments as eating took precedence over talking.

Jack ordered a beer when he finished his second margarita. Sam moved on to diet cola.

Janet gave the Colonel a look that said she hardly approved, and Jack stuck his tongue out at her. 'Well, at least some things never change,' thought Daniel. Despite the now obvious underlying tension of the group, there was at least some semblance of normalcy and peace, and Daniel decided that he'd just have to be content with that, at least for now.

The beer was half gone when the thunder of automatic weapons fire obliterated any possible appearance of peace.


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

There was no warning.

Janet and Sam were laughing over a perfectly timed 'indeed' from Teal'c while Daniel made himself another fajita and Jack sipped from his bottle when bullets began streaming from the front door of the restaurant.

Two gunmen entered, dressed in black military fatigues. They were barely out of their teens, but no one at SG-1's table noticed any of this.

In fact, they barely even noticed the sounds of the weapons. As customers screamed and scrambled for cover and tables and chairs crashed around the room, the only thing Janet, Daniel, Sam, or Teal'c perceived was the distinct sound of breaking glass.

It's funny how the mind can zero in on one stimulus in the face of many. Despite the thunderous reports of assault rifles and the general sounds of panic all around them, for SG-1 and their physician, the sound of a single beer bottle shattering was the loudest noise in the cacophony that now filled the Mexican cantina.

As bottles broke by the dozen over the bar and complete chaos filled the room, that one particular bottle's death rattle was heard over all else.

SG-1 froze for half a second as beer sprayed from the bottle onto Jack's shirt and shards of amber glass tumbled haphazardly into Jack's lap. No one moved for the space of time it took Jack to respond to his lost beverage.

Jack looked at the broken bottle neck still in his hand for one heartbeat, then spoke a single word.

"Huh."

His word brought the artificial silence of SG-1's table to an end. Suddenly, their ears reported every bit of stimuli around them, and their eyes were opened to the horrors of the scene.

They noticed everything at once.

They saw the upturned tables, the shattered glass, the spent shells, the broken bodies, and the blood simultaneously.

Blood seemed to be everywhere.

It pooled under the leg of a man huddled beneath his booth.

It ran like small streams from the arm of a woman crouched behind the bar.

It was smeared over the walls of the hallway leading to the restroom.

And it was spreading over the front of Jack's shirt.

Jack coughed once as instinct took over everyone else at his table.

Teal'c let loose a roar that was lost in the bedlam.

"O'Neill!"

The Jaffa also heaved their table onto its side to offer some measure of protection against the hailstorm of bullets that showed no sign of stopping.

Daniel threw Janet roughly behind the shelter then joined her. Sam jumped down from her seat and dragged the Colonel unceremoniously with her.

Jack coughed again, then looked at the stain on his shirt in confusion. He seemed genuinely puzzled as to how he could be sitting in a restaurant drinking a beer one second and be wounded in a firefight the next. To be fair, it was a good question.

Janet sprung into action without thought. She whipped off her sweater and pressed it hard against Jack's wound as she began yelling questions into his face.

"Colonel! Can you hear me? Are you hit anywhere else? How hard it is to breathe?"

Jack just blinked at her as Sam pushed his body forward to check for an exit wound on his back.

'At least he's conscious,' thought Janet. 'Not much I can do here and now except keep pressure on this wound. Dammit! How do these things always happen to these guys?'

As Janet and Sam dealt with the Colonel, Teal'c and Daniel surveyed the restaurant from behind their makeshift cover. The gunmen had stopped shooting, but they hadn't left the building. Nor had they shot themselves or each other, as was often the case with these incidents. Victims were starting to moan and the gunmen seemed to be agitated by their noises.

Daniel longed for them to fall silent, but that was like asking fish to breathe on land. Frightened children cried on instinct, and the smell of blood and spent ammunition permeated the air. No one could remain completely calm in that situation.

Well, no one except SG-1, perhaps.

Teal'c was the picture of poise. He looked at Daniel as the gunmen began to walk almost casually around the room.

"Do you have a weapon?" he asked.

Daniel shook his head. He didn't usually carry his firearm when he wasn't on duty.

"Nor have I." Despite everything he'd done for Earth, the SGC still frowned on sending an armed alien out into the world.

Sam turned to Teal'c from her place next to Jack.

"They wouldn't let me take mine, either… still on probation and all that. And I've checked the Colonel. Nothing. Don't know why he choose this one time to…"

Her next words were cut off by a yell from Daniel.

"Ah! Dammit!"

The gunmen had fired a few sporadic bursts of bullets into the air. Most of them had hit the ceiling and walls of the restaurant, but a few found softer, less replaceable things in which to lodge.

One of which was Daniel's right arm.

Daniel jumped back from his position at the edge of the upturned table and clutched at his bicep. Blood ran through his fingers and down his arm as he shook his hand and cursed a multi-lingual blue streak under his breath.

Janet moved to tend to this new injury, but Daniel shook his head.

"I'm fine. Just grazed me. Hurts like a son of a bitch, though."

Teal'c watched Daniel gyrate in pain for a moment, then looked at Jack. Janet was still holding her sweater over Jack's wound, and Jack was still conscious, but the ashen color of his face told Teal'c everything he needed to know about Jack's condition and prognosis. Teal'c risked a glance around the rest of the restaurant, where the gunmen were still strolling. They were obviously looking for a specific person in the carnage. This was apparently personal.

Teal'c didn't care. He wasn't about to let these whack jobs kill more innocent people than they already had. He wasn't going to let his friend bleed to death while they settled some personal vendetta.

He turned back to his friends to find Sam staring hard at him.

Their eyes met, and Sam gave him the slightest of nods.

The tiniest of grins tried to run across Teal'c's face.

SG-1 was injured, unarmed, and essentially unprotected, and by any reckoning he had no right to smile, but Samantha Carter was pissed, and Teal'c couldn't help but smirk just a little.

Injured, unarmed, and unprotected was nothing SG-1 couldn't handle. They'd handled it before. And a pissed off Major Carter counted for an awful lot in that situation.


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

Teal'c held Sam's eyes for two heartbeats, then turned his attention back to the restaurant.

Sam slid neatly next to him as Daniel took her place beside Jack. As she did so, one of the gunman started in SG-1's direction while the other yelled through the diner.

"Louise! I know you're in here! I saw your car outside! Come on out here and take what's coming to you or I'll start shooting again! Louise!"

Sam and Teal'c ignored the shouting and focused on their predicament.

"If this one gets much closer, we'll have a clean shot at him," said Sam.

"True, but I fear that will do us little good," said Teal'c.

The young man would be no match for himself or Sam, even armed, but there was the problem of the second gunman. There was no way they could neutralize the first shooter without drawing the attention, and likely the fire, of the first. That was a risk Teal'c was not willing to take, but Sam wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Oh, come on, Teal'c. You saw how wildly those two were shooting. There's a lot of blood out there, but I don't see any dead. What are the odds that the other one would hit me if I took this one out?"

"I do not know those odds, Major Carter. I only know that I am unwilling to play them."

Jack coughed behind Sam and Teal'c, and Teal'c took that as a sign of the Colonel's approval.

Sam's face flushed red and Teal'c saw fire behind her eyes. She was well and truly worked up, and inaction was only making things worse.

"Well, we have to do something, Teal'c! Pretty soon, those guys are going to either find this 'Louise' they're after and kill her, or worse, or they're going to get irritated enough at _not_ finding her to start shooting again."

"I am aware of our situation, Major Carter."

"So what are we…" Sam's words dropped off suddenly, as the quiet gunman approached to the point where he was nearly on top of them. Every muscle in Sam's body tensed, ready to attack if needed, but Teal'c laid a calm hand on her arm until the gunman took a few steps in reverse.

"Why did you do that?" hissed Sam under her breath as soon as she was sure the gunman would not hear her.

Teal'c didn't respond in words, but he motioned toward the middle of the restaurant with his head. The second gunman was heading their way now, too. He met up with his henchman about halfway to SG-1's table.

"Great," muttered Sam.

"Actually, I believe this may be in our favor, Major Carter," answered Teal'c.

"How do you figure? They're farther away now."

Teal'c didn't answer for a long moment.

"I believe they are close enough to one another now that we could attack them both simultaneously. That is our only chance of minimizing further risk of injury."

Sam nodded. "Fair enough. So we go on three, then?"

Teal'c nodded back.

"Do you want the near or the far?" asked Sam.

Teal'c scrutinized the gunmen again before answering. Behind him, Jack's eyes did the same. Despite his injury, Jack was conscious, and he was trying mightily to stay that way. Paying attention to what was going on around him kept his mind alert enough for him to do so.

When Teal'c finally answered Sam, his voice was deliberate.

"Neither."

Sam's eyes widened. "What?"

Daniel, Janet, and Jack's expressions weren't far removed from Sam's. No one could believe Teal'c's answer. Surely he wasn't going to send Sam out there alone? Before anyone could protest, however, Teal'c spoke again.

"My earlier strategy was in error."

Jack's eyes narrowed at the gunmen, then widened exponentially. He saw the key detail seconds before Teal'c explained it.

"The enemy closest to us has no ammunition. He is no longer of any concern."

"Are you sure, Teal'c?" asked Daniel.

"I am."

Sam nodded as she studied the two men. "Oh my God. He's right."

"So, what's the new plan, then?" interjected Janet. "I hate to rush things, but there's wounded here that need treated."

"I am aware of that, Doctor Fraiser," said Teal'c. "That is why I am going to provide a distraction while Major Carter neutralizes our foe."

Jack's eyes focused on Teal'c for a second, then widened again in alarm, but Sam's eyes widened for an entirely different reason.

"No, Teal'c. I'll be the distraction. You're stronger. You stand a better chance of taking this guy out, especially if his buddy gets in on the action, armed or not."

Teal'c smiled patiently.

"But you are faster than I at this distance."

"Teal'c…"

"I am confident in your abilities, Major Carter."

In the background, Jack nodded vaguely, but only Daniel noticed. The archeologist started to say something, but Teal'c spoke again.

"This is not open to discussion. Go! Now!"

Teal'c ran out from behind the table toward the opposite side of the restaurant. He roared a battle cry as he did so, and every eye in the diner turned to him, including the gunmen's.

And that was their mistake.

Teal'c had been right to have the utmost confidence in Sam's abilities.

A blonde whirlwind slammed into the still armed gunman like a ton of bricks just as orange flame erupted from the muzzle of his weapon.

Sam disarmed the thug with practiced efficiency, then swung his weapon around in an arc to meet the skull of his buddy with a sickening crunch. Less than a minute after Teal'c's potentially suicidal charge, Sam stood over the unconscious body of one gunman and pointed her recently acquired weapon at the other's head. The fight was over before it began, and only a single spray of bullets had been fired. They'd all gone in Teal'c's direction, but the panicked and haphazard way they'd been sent meant they didn't hit anything of importance. There were a few more holes in the walls and windows, but no more blood was spilled.

"Get on the ground," said Sam.

The gunman hesitated. Sam did not. She nudged her weapon into the young man's chest.

"I said… Get on the ground. Now."

This time, the former gunman complied. He knelt down in front of Sam, who circled behind him as the terrified restaurant customers began slowly crawling out from under tables and chairs.

"All the way down," commanded Sam.

The shooter stretched out on his belly, and Sam smirked. Teal'c joined her in looming over her foe as Janet immediately started triaging the wounded. Jack was put in a group with serious wounds, while Daniel was assigned to the 'could wait' group.

Sam stood next to Teal'c for a moment before her smirk became a true smile. The second it did, Teal'c took a step away from the shooter's prone figure. He knew what was coming.

Sam turned the shooter's weapon around in her hand and smashed the butt of the gun into the back of his head. Suddenly, red and blue strobes filled the restaurant. Six police cruisers pulled into the parking lot outside. Two ambulances, a fire truck, and a SWAT team were only seconds behind them. Teal'c raised one eyebrow at Sam.

"Perhaps they will have proper restraining devices for these young men."

Sam nodded, still out of breath and running on adrenaline.

Teal'c grinned and motioned to the man at Sam's feet. "It is unfortunate that they did not arrive sooner. You would not have had to incapacitate this man in this way."

Sam turned to Teal'c and leaned into his personal space, then whispered conspiratorially to him.

"Yeah, but it wouldn't have been as much fun."

Across the room, paramedics fitted an oxygen mask onto Jack O'Neill's face. They assumed he was delirious by the insane smile he had on his face, but he was far from it.

He might have been hurting, and a little light on both blood cells and oxygen, but he was also proud. His smile was as real as they came, and it didn't slip from his face until he was helped to unconsciousness by his old friends morphine and propofol en route to the closest hospital.


	36. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX**

Jack didn't wake until two days later.

That was intentional on Janet's part. His wound wasn't atrocious, and he'd certainly had much worse in his time with the SGC and before, but she wasn't taking any chances. She kept Jack sedated for a full forty-eight hours post-op so she could assist his breathing with a ventilator. The bullet that had found its way into Jack's chest had broken two ribs and lacerated his lung before lodging in the underside of his scapula. The fact that the thick slab of bone had stopped the slug had probably saved Jack's life. With no damaging exit wound to bleed profusely, he'd managed to get lucky once again.

But as is always the case with lung damage or broken ribs, breathing wasn't easy for Jack, and Janet worried about the post-operative complications of respiratory infection and collapsed lung tissue. Since Jack was historically one of her less than cooperative patients, Janet didn't leave anything to chance. She kept him on artificial respiration until she was sure his lung would stay inflated on its own.

His initial treatment was done at a local ER, then he was transferred to the SGC's ICU infirmary, where he slept on until Janet was certain that waking him was in his best interest.

When that time came, Jack woke to a ceiling he'd seen many times before. As consciousness slowly brought his mind back online, he nearly grinned at his familiar friend, but found that too difficult with a tube stuck down his throat. Instead, he made a pathetic gargling noise and flailed one arm around in an attempt to reach his mouth.

Sam appeared instantly in his vision.

"Whoa! Easy, Colonel. Calm down. It's just a trach tube. You know the drill. Nurse!"

Sam waved her arm in the air, and a passing nurse appeared. She nodded to Jack and grabbed the tube extending from this mouth. After unhooking it from its oxygen source, she spoke to her patient directly while Sam stepped back out of the way.

"Ok, sir. Just blow out when I pull. Ready?"

Jack nodded weakly, and the nurse pulled the short, wide plastic hose from Jack's throat in one fluid movement. Jack coughed as the thing cleared his lips and stuck his tongue out in a panting gesture. Sam snorted.

"Seriously, sir," said Sam. "It's not that bad. Want some water?"

Jack nodded and continued to hold his mouth open like he'd just eaten something very rotten.

"Here." Sam held out a cup of water and placed the straw in Jack's mouth.

Jack sipped a small amount of the fluid and uttered a barely audible whisper.

"Thanks."

"Anytime, sir," answered Sam.

Jack leaned back onto his pillows and smacked his lips a few times. He knew that his voice wouldn't return in force for several more hours or longer, so he didn't try to communicate. He saw Janet come barreling into the infirmary's ICU ward and he knew she'd been alerted to his awakened state. Jack would've sighed at the impending exam, including penlight, but he was suddenly too tired to do so. As Sam turned to greet Janet, oblivion claimed Jack once again, and he was grateful.

XXX

When he next woke, Jack found his company had tripled. Sam had been joined by Daniel and Teal'c. Daniel was sporting a soft bandage on his upper arm, but was otherwise unmarked, and Sam and Teal'c looked as fit as ever.

Daniel and Sam were arguing about something in harsh whispers while Teal'c looked on with that funny expression of his that indicated he was half-annoyed and half-amused by their antics.

Jack smiled a little and finally found his voice.

"Hey! What's a guy got to do to get some peace around here?"

His voice was still pathetic and hoarse, but his team heard him just fine. Sam and Daniel immediately started mumbling apologies while Teal'c stood and bowed his head at Jack.

"Sorry, Jack."

"Didn't realize you were awake, sir."

"It is good to see you conscious, O'Neill."

Jack waved one hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah… any food around here?"

Daniel grinned. "He's back."

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed."

"I think we can manage something. Hold on," Sam said.

Sam disappeared for a moment. She returned carrying a tray. She looked furtively over her shoulder, then set the tray on Jack's bed as Teal'c helped Jack into a sitting position.

"Don't let Janet see you with this," murmured Sam. "I stole it from her office."

Jack looked down at the tray and saw that Sam had pilfered him a single piece of carrot cake.

"Now, this is worth waking up for," said Jack with a grin.

Daniel and Teal'c formed human shields on either side of Jack's bed so that no wandering eyes could see what Jack was eating.

"Just hurry up and eat it, already," urged Daniel. "Fraiser might come by at any minute."

Jack had to laugh at the universal fear his team showed for the petite doctor, but he nonetheless heeded Daniel's advice. He shoveled the cake into his mouth with lightning speed and prayed that his system wouldn't get angry with him for it.

The cake wasn't gone two minutes when Fraiser showed up, with General Hammond in tow.

Janet did a quick check of Jack's vitals and nodded to Hammond, who addressed the group as a whole.

"I thought the four of you might want to know that the shooters from the restaurant were found dead in their cells this morning."

"What?" asked Daniel. "I thought they had them on suicide watch and they were under the highest levels of security, and…"

Hammond held up one hand to stop Daniel's ramblings.

"They were. At this point, we're not sure what happened. All we know is that the young men are dead. They appear to have been poisoned. The most likely method for that is either that a guard slipped them something on their request and thus assisted their suicides or that their food was poisoned somewhere along the way and they were murdered. Either way, it's out of our hands. The local police and the FBI are working on it. I just thought you'd like to know."

It was quiet for a long moment in the infirmary, then Jack spoke up.

"Sorry if I'm out of the loop, but do we know what went wrong with those two, anyway?"

Hammond nodded. "Apparently, one of the shooters was involved with a girl named Louise. She discontinued their relationship and then later realized she was pregnant with a child, most likely his. The young man found out about the pregnancy and demanded that Louise have the child and give it to him. She refused, and there was a public argument about the child. The shooter stormed off and apparently, after a good deal of substance abuse, convinced his friend that they should try to scare Louise into abiding by his wishes. The entire shooting scene was just a scare tactic."

Jack snorted. "Some scare tactic. And how many people died because of these morons?"

"Well, if there's any bright spot in this mess, it's that the death count was low," continued Hammond. "The boys apparently did just want to scare the girl. They mostly fired into the ceiling, and most of the injuries in the restaurant were minor."

"Present company excluded," murmured Jack.

"Present company excluded," allowed Hammond. "However, one man, a Jeremy Myers, died as a result of his wounds last night. We think that's what either pushed the boys into suicide or caused someone to murder them."

"Or a little of both," mused Janet.

"Indeed," chimed Teal'c.

"I guess it's probably for the best," said Sam. "I mean, it'd take years to get all the trials done, and then they'd either be killed or spend their lives in prison. This is probably more humane."

"Especially when you consider that each and every person in that restaurant would have to testify over and over," Daniel added. "No one should have to rehash something like that publicly." Daniel pointedly looked at Sam when he spoke, but she missed the gesture. Jack didn't.

"Fair enough, then," said Jack, killing the topic. "So, when do I get out of this joint?"

Janet chuckled. "Not today. In fact, not until I say so, so you'd better be nice, Jack O'Neill."

Jack scowled at the physician, and Sam and Daniel couldn't help but snort small giggles at his expression. He looked as petulant as a six year-old child, and they both knew he'd soon be acting like one, too. Of course, neither one of them was a model patient, either, so they said nothing.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to attend to," said Janet.

"Thank you, doctor," said Hammond in dismissal. When Janet was gone, Hammond turned back to Jack and his team. He looked like he still had something important to tell them.

"I've got some news that might speed your recovery a little, Colonel. This last little adventure of yours has turned some heads in Washington. I've gotten permission from the Pentagon to clear Major Carter for duty."

Sam's head whipped towards Hammond quicker than lightning on fast forward. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open, but Daniel was the first to speak.

"That's great!" he exclaimed.

"Indeed that is excellent news, General Hammond," agreed Teal'c.

Sam had to ask for confirmation. "Really?"

Hammond smiled, and the grin reached his eyes. "Absolutely, Major."

Sam smiled broadly and summed up her feelings in one word. "Sweet."

Jack snorted a small laugh at her response, and everyone turned to him. The briefest shadows of confusion and concern flickered in all eight eyes that met his.

"Problem, Colonel?" asked Hammond.

Jack shook his head and laughed a little more, which caused him to cough a bit. When he was through gagging, he wheezed a response.

"Just glad to see Carter giving a one word answer, sir."

Sam looked mildly offended at Jack's words. Daniel started to protest, then appeared to think better of it and remained silent. Teal'c and General Hammond shared a look that clearly said they understood Jack's sentiments all too well.

Hammond chuckled under this breath and patted Jack twice on the thigh in a fatherly manner.

"That, son, I can understand," he said.

Sam's mouth fell open, then snapped shut again as Hammond held up a hand to her.

"No offense, Major. Now, I've got more paperwork and phone calls about this matter to take care of than I'd like to think about, so if you'll excuse me?"

Hammond turned and started to leave the infirmary without waiting for acceptance of his question, but just as he reached the door, he spun back around and addressed Jack and his team one more time.

"Oh, and SG-1?"

"Yes, sir?" chimed Jack and Sam in unison while Daniel and Teal'c met the General's gaze silently.

Hammond's eyes roamed over Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c before settling on Jack. They met and held the Colonel's gaze for a long moment before the General spoke again.

"It's good to have you back."

Jack grinned in a lopsided way. He didn't pretend, for once, to misunderstand the double meaning of Hammond's words. He knew George wasn't just referring to his injury, and as his own eyes followed the path that Hammond's had just traveled, his grin grew wider.

Jack's eyes lingered on each of his teammates for a moment as they gave their own form of thanks to the General for his comment. Teal'c inclined his head toward General Hammond wordlessly. Daniel stammered out a 'thank you', and Sam confidently raised her head and offered a hearty 'thank you, sir'. Finally, it was Jack's turn, and he said the only thing he could.

"Yes, sir, it is."


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN**

Four weeks later, SG-1 was finally slated for their first off-world mission since Sam's temporary demise. Jack's wound still itched, and Daniel's biceps scar was still bright pink, but otherwise they were as fit as the proverbial fiddles.

They were scheduled to head out to P4X-something or other that afternoon, but as Jack sat at his desk at 0930, he was bored. The hours were dragging by slower than Minnesota molasses in January, and Jack prayed for some sort of distraction to help the time pass.

He didn't have to wish for long.

A knock on his half-closed office door got his attention, and the voice that followed it focused that attention completely on his visitor.

"Sir?" called Sam.

"Yeah. Come on in, Carter. Sit down," answered Jack.

"I heard you wanted to see me?" asked Sam, as she settled into a chair opposite Jack.

Jack nodded. "I did."

Sam waited, but when Jack said nothing more, she finally nudged him a little. "May I ask what about, sir?"

Jack blinked. "Oh, right. I just wanted to make sure you were a hundred percent for today. That's all."

"I'm fine, sir."

"Ok, then."

Sam's eyes narrowed. "Is that all, sir?"

Jack hesitated. "Actually… no."

"Sir?"

"I want to talk about the restaurant."

"Sir?"

"You did a hell of a job there, Carter. Can't argue that. But you let your emotions take control of you, and I can't have that."

Sam stared at her CO in astonishment for a moment before responding. "Permission to speak candidly, sir?"

"Always."

"That thug deserved what he got, sir."

"Carter?"

"And it's not like you wouldn't have done the same thing."

Jack blinked, clearly confused. "You lost me, Carter."

"You're talking about when I KO'd the second shooter, right? After he was on the ground?"

Jack laughed. "Oh, hell no, Carter. That you can do any time. Might not be technically kosher, but you'll never hear me complain about it."

"Then what exactly are you talking about, sir?"

"Before that. You were angry, and that's fine, but you can't let that interfere with your judgment, and you did. Teal'c kept his head, and that saved our collective asses. I need you to keep yours when we're out there." Jack's head motioned vaguely in the direction of the stargate.

Sam's eyes blazed fire for a second, and Jack knew he'd struck a nerve. He might well outrank his 2IC, but when that anger that had taken hold of her in the restaurant was turned on him, he could be beaten in a heartbeat. He was in trouble, and he knew it. Carter's lips pressed together in a thin line and it seemed like she didn't trust herself to speak. Her hands gripped the armrests of her chair until her knuckles turned white. Jack was suddenly very glad his desk was between him and Sam. He honestly thought she might hit him, but she merely sat stone still and stared him down. Finally, Jack's voice cut the quiet with a tone that could've frozen lava.

"Something you want to say, Carter?"

"Yes, sir." Sam's voice was as bitter as battery acid, but Jack didn't flinch. He stood up from his chair, placed his long fingers on his desk, leaned forward, and raised his eyebrows at his 2IC.

"And?"

Sam stood, too. She met Jack's gaze fearlessly. "You're one to talk, sir."

Jack blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I said, you're one to talk," repeated Sam.

"What is this about?"

"Teal'c."

Sam spat the word at Jack, and it hit him like a bullet. He closed his eyes for a second, then opened them and stared right through Sam.

"Carter…"

"You know I'm right."

Both male and female voices were venom now, and neither Jack nor Sam blinked. Their eyes held for what seemed like an eternity, but finally Jack backed down.

A victorious smirk fought to control Sam's lips, but she suppressed it. Jack looked hard at the floor for several seconds, then looked again at Sam.

"Alright, fine. Yeah, you're right, ok? Happens to the best of us."

"That it does, sir."

"So how about we just agree to do our best?"

Sam mused over this for a moment, then shrugged. "Fair enough, sir."

"So, we're good, then?"

"We're good, sir."

"Sweet."

And it was. Sam snorted a small laugh at Jack's catch-word, and Jack chuckled back. Both of them knew that judgment often got cloudy in the heat of battle, and that nothing could ever completely prevent that, but they were both grateful that they were never alone when war came crashing down around them. They had their team, and that counted for more than enough.

XXX

Sam was gone ten minutes when another knock sounded on Jack's door.

This time, it was Daniel.

He poked his head around Jack's doorframe and smiled.

"Hey, Jack. Mind if I come in?"

Jack shook his head. "Seeing as you're already here… no."

Daniel grimaced. "Yeah… well… anyway. Just came by to make sure you were ok."

"Why wouldn't I be ok, Daniel?"

"Well, you know, with everything… it's been busy these last few weeks, huh?"

Jack smiled patiently. "I'm fine, Daniel. Thanks for your concern."

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. Ok, then. I'm going to run by the commissary. Want anything?"

"No. I'm fine."

"Ok, see you this afternoon, then, Jack."

"Ok."

Daniel turned to leave, but Jack called him back before he could reach the door.

"Oh, but Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you ask Teal'c to stop by if you see him?"

Daniel stared hard at Jack for a moment before nodding silently and finally speaking.

"Alright."

"Thanks."

"You sure everything's ok?"

"Just peachy, Daniel."

"Ok."

Daniel's expression told Jack that he didn't entirely believe him, but that he'd take Jack's words at face value for now. Since their little excursion to the restaurant from hell, SG-1 had formed into a cohesive unit again, and Daniel saw no reason to challenge that at this point. He'd pass along Jack's message, and deal with any consequences of it later.

XXX

It was nearly noon before a third knock roused Jack from a stirring daydream involving girls in bikinis on bass boats, but this time Jack didn't need to look to know who was at his door.

"Come on in, T," he called out.

The Jaffa leaned his massive frame around Jack's door seconds later.

"O'Neill," said Teal'c. "Daniel Jackson said you wished to see me."

"Yep."

"For what purpose did you summon me?"

Jack grinned. "Cut the formality, T. It's just me. Just got a favor to ask, is all."

One Jaffa eyebrow hit the roof, and Jack couldn't help but grin wider at Teal'c's expression.

"And what is this favor you require of me, O'Neill?"

"Didn't I say cut the formality?"

Teal'c inclined his head but said nothing, clearly waiting on Jack to explain himself. Jack stared back at Teal'c for a moment, then chuckled.

"Alright, fine. Be that way."

Teal'c continued to stare at Jack wordlessly, and after a moment, Jack sobered to a state of deadly serious.

"I need you to take point on this one."

Teal'c's eyebrow had settled back into its usual place, but it hit the ceiling again at Jack's words.

"I'm injured, T. Doesn't make sense for me to be out front this time."

The eyebrow lowered, conceding the point.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Teal'c?"

Teal'c met Jack's eyes squarely, and the men regarded one another in silence for a very long moment. Neither man moved a muscle as the clock on the wall echoed in the office.

Finally, Teal'c dipped his head once in Jack's direction. His eyes never broke contact with Jack's, and his movement was slow and deliberate. Jack nodded back in much the same manner, then broke into a toothy grin. Teal'c's trademark smirk was in place almost immediately in response.

"Thank you," whispered Jack.

Teal'c bowed his head again and was gone.

XXX

The mission to P4X-906 was boring beyond all imagination for everyone but Daniel, who spent the entire time attempting to capture digital images of every single engraved artifact on the planet and jabbering like a chimpanzee about how the language on the rocks appeared to be a derivative of ancient Inca.

Jack, Sam, and Teal'c spent most of their time shooting bored looks at each other and attempting to act interested, but they failed miserably.

By the time they were scheduled to leave the planet, three-quarters of SG-1 was tired, cranky, and hungry. The conversation as they marched to the gate was of only one thing.

Dinner.

"We could get take out," suggested Sam.

"I could go for take out," agreed Jack.

"How can you guys think about food at a time like this?" asked Daniel. "I mean, these writings could indicate that the Goa'uld colonized this planet long before we originally thought! And…"

Teal'c interrupted. "I also believe that take-out would be an acceptable meal this evening."

"You guys are unbelievable!" groused Daniel.

Jack laughed. "Oh, come on, Daniel, you've got to be hungry."

"Well, yeah… but…"

"But what, Daniel?" asked Sam. "You want to go in with us for take out or not?"

Daniel scratched his head. "Oh, I don't know. What kind?"

"I don't know," replied Sam. "Colonel, Teal'c? Any ideas?"

Jack rubbed absently at his chest as he answered. "Anything but Mexican."

"Indeed," agreed Teal'c.

Sam giggled in spite of the seriousness of their answers as Daniel dialed the gate.

Her laughter was infectious, and when SG-1 crossed the event horizon back on Earth, all four of its members were laughing uncontrollably.

No one asked why, which was just as well.

SG-1 ate dinner at Jack's house that night after clearing their post-mission physicals and showering in record time.

They had Chinese.

XXX

**THE.**

**  
END.**

Thanks to everyone who stuck by me through this story. You mean the world!


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